Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

vent from a lurker

Posts: 121

Joined 25-Aug-07

23-Jun-08 11:10 am

 I dont post often at all, but i read alot, i just needed to get this vent out.

I just found out my SIL is having a Girl, and  im a little sad, but im happy for her..its my MIL that upsets me so much..and still a a main sorce of my GD.

 i know when i was pregnant with Fhillip all she said the whole time is how much she wanted a granddaughter, well he wanst..the first thing she ever said to him when she held hims was.."why werent you a girl??" it took everything in me not to say anything to her.. but eventually i got over it (for the most part) because she moved on, FHillip was her first grandchild and she excepted him for him

.when we told her i was pregnant with my angel baby, she said.. i hope it is a girl THIS time..and i know because it is her and HOW she said it what she meant by it... these things she said made me so mad and upset i refused to be present when dh told her about this little baby.. i was almost 16 weeks by the time they got the news..well now, im having another boy, and my SIL is having a girl.. the thing my MIL always wanted..and im afraid my little boys are going to mean nothing at all just because they have penis.. im really not looking forward to her coming home. i know i will hear alllllll about the granddaughter she never get s to see instead of focusing on her two grandsons..it just sucks!

I know i wish i could have little girl, but im not about to dismiss my little men, like i think she will...grrrr
I just really hope when my boys get married i am a good MIL to there wives, and dont make then dread getting married or having to vist them!

Baby Boy '06 Heartbroken m/c '07  Baby Boy '08  Heartbroken possible m/c '09

 

Posts: 1,141

Joined 30-Jun-07

Top Poster
23-Jun-08 11:25 am

I'm sorry. Sad Things have a way of working themselves out in the end. Hang in there. Does she wish your husband had been a girl??

Baby Bear Boy  2004

Baby Bear Boy  2006

Baby Bear Girl  2009

 Thank you God and IG!

Posts: 263

Joined 9-Jun-08

23-Jun-08 3:10 pm

My MIL is the same way... She had 3 boys.  She told the daughter-in-laws "whoever has the first girl gets this and that (including a pony!)"  Like she was giving us an incentive!  The funny thing is the one daughter-in-law that had a girl, can't stand being around our MIL and she NEVER leaves her alone with her baby!  It's tough - I believe she is part of my GD too.....

 

Baby Boy 2000 Baby Boy 2002 Baby Boy 2004 Baby Boy 2007  Baby Boy due Sept 09




Posts: 416

Joined 28-Jan-08

Top Poster
23-Jun-08 11:37 pm

You would really think that someone who has had all of the same gender children, and have probably copped a lot of the awful comments from others, would be a bit more sensitive. Obviously they had no control over the gender of their own children, so why would they put this kind of pressure on their DILs. I will never do this to my future DILs or anyone else for that matter. It is just wrong.

Baby Boy 4 years Baby Boy 21 months Baby Boy he's here, born 24/7/08!

Posts: 20

Joined 23-Jun-08

23-Jun-08 11:48 pm

My SIL had a boy, then a girl, while i am having two boys. I can relate. It just makes you sick! Like...how do some people get so lucky...while others get stuck with bad luck...?

I realize that "things happen for a reason" (if you believe that)...but it makes me sick that my mom will now get to spoil this sweet neice of mine with shopping trips, lunches out, etc etc...and I will never have a little girl to continue on our tradition. Sad.

Your MIL sounds pretty crummy....you have every right to feel bad. If she is so crummy, try not to value her opinion so much (if at all), since you know she's not very nice/healthy. Does that make sense?

Baby Boy August 2006 due in November with another Baby Boy

Always a monkey wrench in

Posts: 704

Joined 23-Mar-08

Top Poster
25-Jun-08 7:08 am

My MIL has actually been really cool about us having two boys (she had two boys herself) But my dh's grandma sounds EXACTLY like your MIL.  When I was prg with my 2nd son EVERY time she talked to me on the phone she said "When am I getting my great granddaughter?"  One time she finally said "well, we will still welcome that little boy" (I thought yeah right WTH thanks alot!!!) But she continued with the same "WHen am I getting my great grand-d" every single time and at the hospital when ds2 was born she said it OVER and OVER again. 

Funny how she only said this to the moms though, because dh's cousin (her daughter's daughter) said she said the same thing to her with her first son and she told me she told her "Oh grandma, it's ONLY my first one" as if to say, "Dont worry, my next one will be a girl" which it was... so of course you know how the story goes and how family get togethers are so hard with her favoritism and people telling the cousin they're the perfect family and all (blech!)  I only put up with because my boys love their cousins - mainly my youngest as each is just a little older and younger than him - and it's only now about 3 times a year we get together (major holidays) but it takes me about two weeks after each visit to stop being depressed about it.  Also the cousin is her only granddaughter with 4 grandsons -- I tried to get my DH to understand she obviously thinks less of him being a he not a she but he doesn't get it...  and she is in her 90's whereas my mother who NEVER cared HERSELF about the gender of my children and loving them unconditionally had to die in her 70's ... it just makes it hurt so much more.... 

 

 

Posts: 121

Joined 25-Aug-07

25-Jun-08 9:08 am

actually im almost 100% she would have wished dh was a girl..but im sure glad he wasnt!!Happy Giggle

Baby Boy '06 Heartbroken m/c '07  Baby Boy '08  Heartbroken possible m/c '09

Under The Cosmos

Posts: 1,768

Joined 25-Feb-08

Top Poster
25-Jun-08 10:45 am

 MILS can be SO hard to deal with sometimes, can't they?  Did your SIL want a girl or boy? If deep down inside she really wanted a boy, then maybe she's jealous of you.

For what it's worth, I think you're the lucky one. 

"Live For Each Other" - Yogi Bhajan
Page: of 1