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Another boy mum grieving for a girl...

Posts: 18

Joined 9-Jun-13

9-Jun-13 5:36 pm

 Thankfully I'm not worried about putting my boy on the back burner. He is so lovely already, such a calm, friendly, attentive baby, charming his mummy all the time with his adoring smiles. I am really happy he is with us and I look forward to raising him to be a good and caring man. The problem is probably really that I do not have any good role models for working adult mother-son relationships around me, I only know my very close relationship to my mother (whom I of course don't choose over my husband but who has still remained my first go-to person after him and who is of huge importance to me). It is very good to hear about (expected) positive relationships between grown sons and their mothers, even though I still have problems to imagine my boy will want to go travelling with his mum once he is grown while I see my mum travelling with my grandmother all the time.

I know the "until he takes a wife" saying is very stupid (I actually only know it in English @jla, so its not from over here), its not something I specifically believe, it just resonates with my fears and uncertainties about how a relationship with my adult son might look like. And as easy as it is to condemn having gender preferences based on stereotypes, as unrealistic is it because they will in most cases be based on stereotypes and stereotypes are just a thing humans use to make the world somewhat more predictable. Whyever one might fear or whish for having a daughter or son will almost always be related to some kind of stereotype one has concerning one or both genders. Of course that doesn't mean that one's child will turn out according to that stereotype but it probably means that the likelihood of her or him turning out that way is somewhat higher than not since stereotypes are usually based on certain tendencies that do exist. My boy might turn out to be a gentle, sweet sole, mostly wanting to read and draw and never hurting a fly but that doesn't change that boys are more likely to display rough-and-tumble play and to be into shooting video games etc. 

Hoping for a Baby Girl next time 'round Happy