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6 weeks and not any better- any coping suggestions?

Posts: 28

Joined 19-Jun-12

16-Jul-12 12:26 am
So it's been a while since I found out we're having our third boy... The crying jags are gone pretty much, which is helpful, but I am still upset. Everyone keeps asking me if I have any names picked out and I just don't want to even go there. My sister was in town and wanted to buy the baby an outfit - I say "Don't waste your money I already have plenty of boy stuff, I don't need any more." Since our last two boys were early my husband is into nesting mode big time... says he wants to have everything done and ready by the end of August... I don't even want to go there. I'm still the only one having a boy. Still getting crappy comments that only make me feel even worse... Boys are stupider than girls. They are slower than girls. (Thanks, jerks, I already have a kid with Down syndrome who has developmental delays already, you think I'm not sensitive to those comments?!) Oh, you poor thing, God bless you. The baseball team comments. Etc. etc. Then there is everybody obsessing over my health and predicting my inevitable early delivery which is just making me frustrated even more - my health is fine so far but I hate being reminded constantly how much my last two deliveries sucked. I can't muster up any optimism or excitement - my fear of the unknown plus sheer annoyance with 90% of the people around me is making it impossible. I know I love this baby and that I am lucky... a sweet expression of the love my husband and i have for each other. I adore my other boys - they are my world. I am beyond embarrassed how disappointed I am that this one is another boy... but I can't help it. Some people say things to try and make me feel better (they know I'm sad about it but they don't know how much I've been sad about it) and say things like, 'Well, most people feel relieved that they are having another boy because they already know how to take care of boys' or 'How nice you just get to be the queen of the house' but that just makes me more sad and I change the subject. I just don't know what to do, I really don't feel like it will ever go away. I love this baby no matter what - even if we did go for four kids and I ended up with a fourth boy I would love that one just as much as well - but I just feel like I'm missing out. I know not everybody had that mother-daughter thing with their moms but I did with mine and I really wanted (well, want) to have that with my own daughter. i feel like some sort of weird failure or that God doesn't think I"m a good enough mom to raise a girl. (Sounds stupid, right? But the thought has crossed my mind!) I know it seems so silly but it is what it is... Sorry this was so long, just had to put it out there.
Baby Bear Boy July 2007 (Down Syndrome diagnosed after delivery) Baby Bear Boy July 2010 Baby Bear Boy due October 2012 - born September 27
 

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16-Jul-12 12:49 am

 I have three boys, so I understand at least some of what you're going through. I never found out ahead of time what any of mine were. I'm absolutely certain that you're happy to be having a healthy baby, but that doesn't mean you don't wish it was a healthy girl. I love all threeof my sons to bits, but I still, STILL wish they were girls! I don't wish they weren't here, I don't wish they weren't mine, I don't even wish they were different.... I just want them to be themselves, to be the same, but to be girls. Does that make sense? You're allowed to be sad. I hope that you will start getting happier about your new darling baby, and I know you will get happier about him at some point, but it's okay if it takes a while to get there. Sometimes it seems like there is no right thing that people can say. I've been through that. No matter what they say it's wrong. Most of the people you talk to IRL are not going to understand how you're feeling. You may want to pick a person you trust COMPLETELY to be brutally honest with, and try to fake it with everyone else to a certain degree. It really makes me mad when people try to comfort me with the idea of daughter in laws, or of granddaughters. Sometimes I'm so jealous of moms of girls that I don't even want my own children to be able to have any girls. If I have only boys, then so should everyone else! End of the human race? Fine! We don't have to always be rational. One thing I have found comforting is to hear about mothers and SONS who have amazing relationships. one of my mom's best friends has two boys who phone her all the time and one girl who doesn't nearly as much. She's actually much closer with her boys. I think you should think of some special things you can do with your boys to look forward to. Like Mother-son birthday dates or something like that. That could be really special. I also think you may have fun shopping for this baby if you give it a good try. If not, that's okay, But I think you should try. Let your sis buy the baby an outfit. Every baby should having something that's just for that baby. I get more pleasure out of dressing my boys in unusual clothes rather than the typical boy clothes. I like dressing them in brown and turquoise or brown and green rather than red and navy. I hate red and navy! Maybe try to find something different that makes this feel like you haven't already done it? Hopefully you'll find something that helps, and maybe it helps just a little to know that there are people out there (on here!) who understand.

PS: two lousy deliveries doesn't mean you will have a third lousy one! I had two difficult ones (first a c-section, then a 38 hour labor) followed by a really nice one (7 hours start to finish, laughing through the whole thing).

HeartbrokenBaby Bear Boylost baby  HeartbrokenBaby Bear Girllost baby  DS1  DS2   DS3   Heartbrokenectopic pregnancy June 2012

New baby due August 2013!

 

 

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16-Jul-12 9:27 am

BIG HUGS honey!!!! (((((())))))

NICUnurse:
Still getting crappy comments that only make me feel even worse... Boys are stupider than girls. They are slower than girls. (Thanks, jerks, I already have a kid with Down syndrome who has developmental delays already, you think I'm not sensitive to those comments?!) .

I totally understand being sensitive to those kind of comments...my DS2 is special needs (autism... classic autism, not just some "quirky" Aspergers type if you kwim! And it's esp hard b/c boys are much more likely to have ASD.) You and I KNOW how special SN kids are and how much joy they bring- people who don't have a SN child just have no idea. Yes there are a lot of challenges, but I wouldn't trade my DS2 for any kid in the world! He has taught me SO much as I'm sure your DS1 has...I am a completely different person because of him- a better person. And developmentally delayed does NOT mean dumb! They have a different way of seeing the world, and they understand wayyyyy more than we give them credit for. As far as "typical" boys, from what research I've done in the past, they are only behind girls very early on (first few years of life)- after that they are completely caught up to their female peers and actually are ahead of girls in some areas.For example, my brother always excelled in math and science...my sister and I both sucked at math but excelled in other areas like language arts, etc. And yes we all had the same education. My next door neighbor, a boy (who was my best friend as a child)- was delayed as a young boy, but ended up excelling in math and is now an accomplished accountant. So when you hear these comments, don't hesitate to correct people!

It's okay to feel sad #3 isn't the girl you were hoping for. Allow yourself to grieve- it doesn't mean you don't love this baby or don't love your other boys- you just wanted to experience a girl. When I found out we were having boy#3 at the big u/s, I won't lie- I went into the bathroom at the doc office, melted to the floor, and cried by heart out. Little did I know my DS3 would be the light of my life. :) He is SUCH a mama's boy, moreso than my other two. If I walk out the door to go to the grocery, he starts getting hysterical and when I try to hand him to dh he just pushes dh away! I am actually SO glad he was a boy, because now my DS1 gets to have a more "typical" brother relationship than he has with DS2, and DS3 has been a blessing for DS2 because they are both sort of on the same level, etc and like some of the same things.

I feel like my family is more perfect/complete with 3 boys than we were with just 2. Really. I still want to add a girl to the mix but I honestly don't obsess about it as much as I did before DS3...he filled a hole I didn't know was there. Hearts

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

formerly Saggyrl11

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16-Jul-12 10:59 am
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. We just had our third boy about a month and a half ago.When I found out I felt devastated that we were having a third boy. I really wanted a girl and tried all the sway factors etc. All my symptoms were different I was sooooo convinced I was having a girl. Once our 20 week scan came along and it was confirmed I felt much better. Throughout the pregnancy I heard all sorts of comments and I had no problem telling people I tried "tricks" to have a girl.. I took it all in stride and found the humor in it. Now that my baby boy is here I can't imagine having any other baby.. and would never want to trade him for a girl or wish he was a girl. I am having more issues accepting this is our last baby.. which I think I would feel if he was a girl as well.. he's already so much bigger then when he was born. and he's been so fussy that I haven't had a chance to take many pictures I just feel like it's flying all by. I have been talking about having a 4th! Much to my husband's horror mind you! Anyway, the comments now are just beyond aggravating to me. They are said in front of my other boys, in front of the baby.. and I find it just awful. As if these people have some shining light on them because they have a boy and a girl... you know what.. they aren't more special and it isn't by anything they did or deserved that they got that or you got what you are having. it just is. I"m not religious but you know sometimes you just have to roll with it and accept that you have what you have for whatever reason. I have a beautiful HEALTHY baby boy and I know for many people that's all they wished they had. My brother's wife can't have children, I have a friend with 2 special needs children. I know that from reading your post you can relate to this because of your son. I know you wanted a girl.. trust me I know.. I still do have that strong desire as well. But this baby once he is here you will fall in love. Right now it's so abstract since you are pregnant. I was there and I felt it too.. but once I started feeling him kick all of it started to crumble away and when I met him I didn't have any feelings of GD or depression (I did with my 2nd since I was surprised at birth). And my 2 sons adore their baby brother. I promise it will get easier. I'm not sure if you will ever get over not having a girl.. I definitely am not close to feeling that.. but you will know that when your baby is here that he was meant to be here with you. I know women with only boys or only girls and once they got past the baby stage and knew their families were complete they didn't have GD at all. I think time heals many wounds for sure. Feel good and give yourself some time. You may have to meet your baby until you feel better, and that's okay too.. just take the time you need to process it all and realize it's not anything you did or didn't do.. it just is and that's not a bad thing! GL!!!

Posts: 116

Joined 14-Sep-07

16-Jul-12 11:31 am

I can't believe what people have said to you! The whole "boys are stupider/ slower than girls" comment is just plain wrong and ridiculous. What kind of a person says that? I have 3 girls and time has helped me move further away from my desire for a boy. Some ideas to help:

-have you gone through your little boys old outfits? the memories from those really helped me look forward to the future

-look for names to personalize this little guy

-find fun things to do with your kids and just focus on the two of them and all that you love about them

Good luck! Hang in there.

Lisa

Posts: 28

Joined 19-Jun-12

16-Jul-12 3:58 pm
sewmuchfun"]Sometimes I'm so jealous of moms of girls that I don't even want my own children to be able to have any girls. If I have only boys, then so should everyone else! End of the human race? Fine! We don't have to always be rational.[/quote] Ha! I have totally had this thought cross my mind too!!! My brother and sister in law are trying to have another baby and they already have one son and I have literally thought, 'They better have another boy or I am going to be so pissed...I don't care if my mom never gets any granddaughters'. But it seems like the more I wish that other people would have boys they all just have girls... so I should probably try and control my thoughts. lol [quote user="sewmuchfun"]I think you should think of some special things you can do with your boys to look forward to. Like Mother-son birthday dates or something like that. That could be really special. I also think you may have fun shopping for this baby if you give it a good try.[/quote] It's funny you should mention the birthday date thing, because DS1 and I have the same birthday... so every birthday is a birthday date! :) And DS2's birthday is just four days afterwards... And I do try to spend special time with each kiddo, both my DH and I do. And I really want to try shopping for this new one... the last couple of times I tried it didn't end so well so I think it scared me off. Maybe a little more time and I'll feel better. Either way I think I will have to, the other two kind of trashed all of the other baby clothes we had... so it's going to become a necessity. :) And I like your idea about trying to find something new and different... I'll rack my brain and see what I can come up with. Maybe that will help a little too. [quote user="sewmuchfun:
PS: two lousy deliveries doesn't mean you will have a third lousy one! I had two difficult ones (first a c-section, then a 38 hour labor) followed by a really nice one (7 hours start to finish, laughing through the whole thing).
Thanks for the words of encouragement... I have heard that the third one can be the game changer... I'm holding on to at least a little hope! :)
Baby Bear Boy July 2007 (Down Syndrome diagnosed after delivery) Baby Bear Boy July 2010 Baby Bear Boy due October 2012 - born September 27

Posts: 28

Joined 19-Jun-12

16-Jul-12 4:10 pm
Havebluwantp1nktoo"]I totally understand being sensitive to those kind of comments...my DS2 is special needs (autism... classic autism, not just some "quirky" Aspergers type if you kwim! And it's esp hard b/c boys are much more likely to have ASD.) You and I KNOW how special SN kids are and how much joy they bring- people who don't have a SN child just have no idea. Yes there are a lot of challenges, but I wouldn't trade my DS2 for any kid in the world! He has taught me SO much as I'm sure your DS1 has...I am a completely different person because of him- a better person.[/quote] You are absolutely right... I went through a mourning period after he was born, but I really can't imagine him any other way. Sure it makes life different and more challenging, but it has brought my husband and I closer and I think DS1 has been a wonderful eye opener to all of our friends and family. Still, nobody thinks about what they say... and now I'm just to the point where I get mad about it. So many people are insensitive about bragging about their children and their development, it has caused me to kind of hide out on my own a lot. I am very proud of my sons and everything they have done and the challenges they face every day - sometimes you just get tired having to be the great defender all the time and it's easier to just retreat and wallow, you know? lol Especially when you are pregnant! Hormones don't help! And maybe I need to print off some of the articles you've read about development and leave them lying around at work... you know I work with medical professionals but sometimes I don't think they get the whole picture... especially since most of them haven't lived it first hand. It's one thing to read about something in a text book, but it is quite another thing to live it. And all kids are different... but the way most medical articles are positioned everything is lumped in percentages and presented as 'the majority'... we're all different as humans, we should be treated that way! At least that's how I try to be. Individualization is important but hard to come by in this society. [quote user="Havebluwantp1nktoo:

It's okay to feel sad #3 isn't the girl you were hoping for. Allow yourself to grieve- it doesn't mean you don't love this baby or don't love your other boys- you just wanted to experience a girl. When I found out we were having boy#3 at the big u/s, I won't lie- I went into the bathroom at the doc office, melted to the floor, and cried by heart out. Little did I know my DS3 would be the light of my life. :) He is SUCH a mama's boy, moreso than my other two. If I walk out the door to go to the grocery, he starts getting hysterical and when I try to hand him to dh he just pushes dh away! I am actually SO glad he was a boy, because now my DS1 gets to have a more "typical" brother relationship than he has with DS2, and DS3 has been a blessing for DS2 because they are both sort of on the same level, etc and like some of the same things.

I feel like my family is more perfect/complete with 3 boys than we were with just 2. Really. I still want to add a girl to the mix but I honestly don't obsess about it as much as I did before DS3...he filled a hole I didn't know was ther

Thanks for the kind words... I am sure that DS1 & 2 will both benefit greatly from having another 'pace car' around. Everybody it always at some different stage of development or liking different things... I'll just keep giving myself time. I appreciate everybody's support it has been so helpful!
Baby Bear Boy July 2007 (Down Syndrome diagnosed after delivery) Baby Bear Boy July 2010 Baby Bear Boy due October 2012 - born September 27

Posts: 28

Joined 19-Jun-12

16-Jul-12 4:22 pm
hope1212:
'm so sorry you are feeling this way. We just had our third boy about a month and a half ago.When I found out I felt devastated that we were having a third boy. I really wanted a girl and tried all the sway factors etc. All my symptoms were different I was sooooo convinced I was having a girl. Once our 20 week scan came along and it was confirmed I felt much better. Throughout the pregnancy I heard all sorts of comments and I had no problem telling people I tried "tricks" to have a girl.. I took it all in stride and found the humor in it. Now that my baby boy is here I can't imagine having any other baby.. and would never want to trade him for a girl or wish he was a girl. I am having more issues accepting this is our last baby.. which I think I would feel if he was a girl as well.. he's already so much bigger then when he was born. and he's been so fussy that I haven't had a chance to take many pictures I just feel like it's flying all by. I have been talking about having a 4th! Much to my husband's horror mind you! Anyway, the comments now are just beyond aggravating to me. They are said in front of my other boys, in front of the baby.. and I find it just awful. As if these people have some shining light on them because they have a boy and a girl... you know what.. they aren't more special and it isn't by anything they did or deserved that they got that or you got what you are having. it just is. I"m not religious but you know sometimes you just have to roll with it and accept that you have what you have for whatever reason. I have a beautiful HEALTHY baby boy and I know for many people that's all they wished they had. My brother's wife can't have children, I have a friend with 2 special needs children. I know that from reading your post you can relate to this because of your son. I know you wanted a girl.. trust me I know.. I still do have that strong desire as well. But this baby once he is here you will fall in love. Right now it's so abstract since you are pregnant. I was there and I felt it too.. but once I started feeling him kick all of it started to crumble away and when I met him I didn't have any feelings of GD or depression (I did with my 2nd since I was surprised at birth). And my 2 sons adore their baby brother. I promise it will get easier. I'm not sure if you will ever get over not having a girl.. I definitely am not close to feeling that.. but you will know that when your baby is here that he was meant to be here with you. I know women with only boys or only girls and once they got past the baby stage and knew their families were complete they didn't have GD at all. I think time heals many wounds for sure. Feel good and give yourself some time. You may have to meet your baby until you feel better, and that's okay too.. just take the time you need to process it all and realize it's not anything you
Everything you said makes me feel better... and it describes how I am feeling now and how I have been guessing I am going to feel a few months from now. I don't know for sure if this is our last... I am sure my husband would like it to be our last but he has agreed to 'wait and see for a couple of years' before he gets snipped... and so part of it is the thought that this might be our last kid too... coupled with the wanting a girl thing... Knowing that I"m not the only one who needed so much time to work through this helps... not feeling alone helps. I thought enough time had gone by but maybe not for me I guess. I'll just suck it up until then and keep trying. :) You ladies on here keep me sane!!! Thank you!!
Baby Bear Boy July 2007 (Down Syndrome diagnosed after delivery) Baby Bear Boy July 2010 Baby Bear Boy due October 2012 - born September 27

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Joined 19-Jun-12

16-Jul-12 4:38 pm
stelisa:

I can't believe what people have said to you! The whole "boys are stupider/ slower than girls" comment is just plain wrong and ridiculous. What kind of a person says that? I have 3 girls and time has helped me move further away from my desire for a boy. Some ideas to help:

-have you gone through your little boys old outfits? the memories from those really helped me look forward to the future

-look for names to personalize this little guy

-find fun things to do with your kids and just focus on the two of them and all that you love about them

Good luck! Hang in there.

Lisa

There are a lot of people who say it, sadly... a lot of them from work it seems. And a lot of people with boys... and a number of them with both boys and girls always compare their boys to their girls in a 'slower' or 'less intelligent' light. I could never imagine doing that! It sounds weird, doesn't it? But I hear it a LOT. As I mentioned before I am already super sensitive to those types of conversations regardless of gender... and so far I have just kept my mouth shut and tried to change the subject before I blow up or say something as stupid as they are saying. But words can have a very lasting effect, whether they are passive or aggressive. I try to let stuff roll off my back but I have had a much harder time doing that since finding out this new one is another boy because people keep bringing it back up. So frustrating! I have been scared to go through the old outfits thinking it would just make me more depressed... but maybe I'll give it a try over the next couple of weeks. i've felt a little better... I have been scared to try new things thinking it might set me back. But maybe it would help. The name thing is probably the scariest for me... My husband (not meaning to of course) made a comment that 'If I promised this would be our last I could pick whatever name I wanted'. That hurt a lot... We've talked about it since and DH apologize and said he didn't mean it to come off as harshly as it did and he understands my upset feelings. But just bringing it up now brings back those feelings and doubts and thinking 'wow will this really be our last kid? i really won't have a chance of having a daughter?' and all of the accompanying thoughts that go with it. It would probably be a good thing for us to do as a couple too... open up more channels of communication and all of that (while I"ve been better at talking with him about stuff, I have still kept a LOT of things to myself)... Something we've definitely gotta do, I just gotta work up the guts to do it. Like I said, I am totally afraid of backsliding... but I guess I might have to do a little backsliding to be able to move forward. One step forward, two steps back is what we always say to our patient's families. Nothing is an easy road. I should heed my own advice, I guess! :) And yours, your ideas make a lot of sense... I promise I will try them out and see how they go. :) Thanks for your kind words and advice!
Baby Bear Boy July 2007 (Down Syndrome diagnosed after delivery) Baby Bear Boy July 2010 Baby Bear Boy due October 2012 - born September 27

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16-Jul-12 7:18 pm
I am due my third in December! Some days I think I'll be fine with the idea of a third Boy ( i know i'll be fine when he arrives) and I actually think I'm more scared of my reaction when (sorry if) I hear boy, than actually having a boy if that makes sense. Since I had my boys I have realised a few things. Being a mother is all I've ever wanted to do. To have a little person with all their imperfections and beauty that depends completely on you for everything. That you can watch grow and take care of and love. Someone you have felt inside you and held from the first moment they see the world and say "hi I'm your mammy"! Developmental milestones have nothing to do with intelligence. There are all different kinds of intelligence and academic intelligence is a small and not very important part. My friends son didn't talk until he was four, she did speech therapy! Because of the therapy he speaks very well, very correct and is perfect now! He's seven and plays chess haha! He's ADOREABLE! ! I put way more importance on my children being kind, happy and empathic to other people!! My uncle has severe learning and physical disabilities from a hemorrhage when he was 6, he had a twin and they didn't know there was another baby so the twin died! Anyway he is amazing, he can't talk and is paralysed down one side of his body. He sings the first line of two songs over and over when hes happy! You want to hear him singing when he sees my dad!! He has been institutionalised since he was 12 and he's 66 now. With the thickest black hair, not a wrinkle on him and smooth hands! My dad is his younger brother! He has a brother, then a sister, then two brothers and a sister. Only one sister and my dad look after him. My dad visits every week, he can't take him out alone now because he's gotten fat, but my dad makes sure he never misses a family function. He is the happiest most loving person I have ever met. My dad adores him, you can just see how much he loves him when they're together, he's his big brother! dad and him have a wonderful bond that I am sure my granny looks down on. Even though my uncle has severe problems he has taught me so much throughout my life and we are blessed to have him in our family!! My dad is such a kind and caring person, he has a lot of friends with different special needs and can see everyone for the person they are and not their disability, that's thanks to his big brother! I think it made him the wonderful dad and role model he is!! my point is every person is a blessing regardless of their abilities!! I don't believe boys are slower than girls, it depends on the child. My DS2 is developmentally a lot slower than DS1 when you compare them, but I don't. I get sooo excited seeing DS2 reach his full potential and knowing that the love and support that I give him every day contributes to that. We are all lucky to get the chance to see our babies develop and grow, and surprise us every day. I am sure your DS1 has given you many surprises and you've wondered at his gorgeous personality and the huge leaps he has taken at different points in his development. Your 3rd son could find the cure for cancer, or he could just love his mammy and take care of his big brother and be the light of your life:) It's hard when you wanted something sooo bad, and I know at the end of the week I'll be a blubbering mess and coming to you for some advice, but you deserve to enjoy this pregnancy! New babies are so beautiful and they all look the same, boys and girls, till they get hair haha!! I completely understand how you feel and people's comments do get me down, but you're going to have a tiny new addition to your family. A new member, who you don't know, a new personality that is going to add a whole new dimension to your household. That's all I'm trying to focus on to stop the dissappointment, because I don't want to be disappointed. It's ridiculous, when I look at my DS2 and how gorgeous he is and think about how dissappointed I was it's seems daft now! I was looking at him walking in front of me yesterday with my DH and I thought that there is no way I would want a little pink toddler in his place, no way!!! I would love to be able to make you feel better, and I hope I take my own advice when I find out the gender of number 3 :)
Mammy to a beautiful Baby Boy Sept 2009, Baby Boy Jan 2011 andBaby Girl Dec 12

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16-Jul-12 10:11 pm

NICUnurse"]Still, nobody thinks about what they say... and now I'm just to the point where I get mad about it. So many people are insensitive about bragging about their children and their development, it has caused me to kind of hide out on my own a lot![/quote]

Ugh girl, believe me I know exactly how you feel!! People truly don't think before they speak. I had a good friend who was telling me about her friend's severely autistic son (my son was dx with autism by this time and she knew about his dx!!!), and said "I would kill myself if I had a kid like that!"... I was STUNNED to say the least, I literally couldn't speak. I was thinking WTF, does she know who she's talking to???

As far as developmental milestones, I could care less about them anymore. All I care about is that DS2 is making progress- he'll do it on his own timeline. Having a SN child, I really believe they are special souls who chose a special journey here on Earth. I believe they are higher level souls who are supposed to be teaching the rest of us lessons about empathy, understanding, patience, love, etc. They don't judge or play mind games...they take others as they are and give pure love. We are blessed to be their mothers, NICUnurse. Truly. :)

[quote user="NICUnurse:

I am sure that DS1 & 2 will both benefit greatly from having another 'pace car' around. Everybody it always at some different stage of development or liking different things... I'll just keep giving myself time!

Exactly, take it one day at a time. You know GD is always so much harder while still PG...once your little prince is here it will get so much easier! I have some advice for you that has worked MAGIC for me....get off Facebook and any message/birth boards that cause GD or any kind of negative feelings... I stopped posting on FB about a month and a half ago and couldn't be happier! And bonus- I now have much more time for my kids and myself! I didn't realize how much FB affected my mood until I stopped going on there and realized I was so much happier! I feel like it's just a brag-fest to make people feel better about their lives. Seriously, do I really NEED to know that so-and-so is going on va-ca to DisneyWorld or that Little Timmy went poo poo in the potty at 9 months old or see 300 pics of Little McKenna in her 300 tutus? Does other people's news add anything to my life? I think FB has made us all care too much about what the Jones' are doing instead of focusing on our own lives, kids, and happiness. Happy

 

 

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

formerly Saggyrl11

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17-Jul-12 2:39 am
I have come to the conclusion that some people are just dead set idiots! Some of the things that people have said to me over the years about my boys ( mostly in front of them ) or things that I have read on here that ladies have had said to them, is just unbelievable ! Why people cant just look at your children for the blessing that they are is beyond me. I don't know why they feel the need to put down the gender make up of our children. But unfortunately whatever order of kids you have, there will always be some fool who makes a derogatory comment. Don't give their comments any weight, brush them off. Whenever someone would say something to me about the boys, it just made me hug them a little bit tighter! Especially when I saw the look on their face when a comment was said in front of them. X

Baby Boy+Baby Boy 2003, Baby Boy 2008 and our first pinky ariived in June! Baby Girl Hearts

Four times lucky and we are (probably Confused Huh?) done !

Thanks to all the lovely IG ladies and leaders for your support and advice over the years! Happy Celebrate

Link to my sway : http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/236361.aspx

Posts: 294

Joined 14-Sep-11

17-Jul-12 4:52 am
I've had 5 boys I too know all too well the comments your hearing... What really helped me was..coming to the conclusion I cannot change my baby's sex .. Choosing my baby's name and talking to him bonding with him..and i did buy new clothes for each one to celebrate each boy it just really helped to see the new Lil boy clothes around and I had a different theme for each nursery..each baby was a celebration yes at the time I was wanting my DD but when it wasnt I did everything I could to be happy and joyful always hoping for the time I'd hear it's a girl !!! I wouldn't give up till I did ;) now in. A way believe it or not when I heard girl this time a part of me was a little sad I know what I have w my boys and they r my Lil loves..my Lil girl I hope is too but I think it's fear of the unknown..in my perfect world right now I'd be pg with one of each...and when pep did comment I'd smile and say things like im very happy my baby is healthy the more positive I appeared about it the less " I feel sorry " comments I got..
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Posts: 157

Joined 30-May-10

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17-Jul-12 5:54 am
tadtam21:
Choosing my baby's name and talking to him bonding with him..and i did buy new clothes for each one to celebrate each boy it just really helped to see the new Lil boy clothes around and I had a different theme for each nursery..each baby was a celebration yes at the time I was wanting my DD but when it wasnt I did everything I could to be happy and joyful always hoping for the time I'd hear it's a girl !!! I wouldn't give up till I did ;)
That's lovely and exactly what I will be doing xxx I wasted last pregnancy on dissappointment and if I had known the absolutely gorgeous little man I would have I would hve been celebrating!!!
Mammy to a beautiful Baby Boy Sept 2009, Baby Boy Jan 2011 andBaby Girl Dec 12

Posts: 294

Joined 14-Sep-11

17-Jul-12 5:03 pm
Pstar good for you...I love being pregnant ..enjoying the gift we have to give life..feeling the baby moving its an amazing experience that I think too often people miss out on enjoying because of GD ...while I 100% understand GD it's tough but we need to stick by our Lil bundles in there and enjoy..I could never change my boys genders but I could always dream of getting my DD..while others thought I was nuts to keep going I'm truly happy I did..I'd never know this little gal growing inside me I've had my 5 boys so I feel it's about time to get my DD good luck to u an your bundle ENJOY is the best advice I have for any mom to be;)
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