Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

why is this?

Posts: 155

Joined 29-May-12

14-Jul-12 3:35 pm
I have been lurking around threads of women on here with both genders, a lot more of them seem to be trying to give their DD a sister rather than their DS a brother and am wondering why is this? i have always wanted just two, and i wonder, if i happen to hav a DD will i be back here trying to give her a sister in a few years time or will i be suffering GD again over not being able to give her a sister?.Here's my question, when u got your DG why did u still want another and what makes u want to give your LO a same gender sibling?

Baby Boy 11/16/2004, Baby Bear Boy 10/03/13

 

Posts: 55

Joined 22-Jun-12

14-Jul-12 5:27 pm

I have a girl and a boy. My daughter is 3.5 years old and my boy is 8 months.. The reason I want to give her a sister, is because I grew up with 3 brothers, and I always wished I had a sister to share things with, talk, and have her company no matter what... My mother also had 3 brothers, my husband also has 3 brothers.. There are hardly any girls and given my mom and I grew up being the only girls, we are kinda lonely... A sister is always there for you and I am constantly wanting the company of a sister. This is why I want to give my daughter a sister, because I don't want her to feel like I do... And clockwise, I also want to give my boy a brother. I want to have 2 and 2. 2 boys and 2 girls...

Baby Bear Girl  1-19-09 Baby Bear Boy 11-22-11 - Hoping for another Baby Bear Girl in 2013! Pray

Posts: 55

Joined 22-Jun-12

14-Jul-12 5:29 pm

Right now for my 3rd I want a girl since my daughter is the oldest.. for my 4th I would like a boy for my son... Our plans don't always come out the way we want though... but trying doesn't hurt.. I would never do high-tech though....

Baby Bear Girl  1-19-09 Baby Bear Boy 11-22-11 - Hoping for another Baby Bear Girl in 2013! Pray

Posts: 3,657

Joined 9-Dec-08

Top Poster
14-Jul-12 6:11 pm
I have one of each and if I were to have a 3rd I would be happy with either gender because to me it's just as important to give a boy a brother as it is to give a girl a sister. We are 99% sure we are done though

DS- Trevor 11/24/05

DD - Kathryn 5/7/2010 at 37+5 weeks!

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Readyforbaby3

Posts: 964

Joined 28-Dec-10

Top Poster
15-Jul-12 7:48 pm

 I may be the odd one out here but I always wanted two boys and a girl.  I never wanted more than one girl, I just have a brother and I liked being the only girl in my family.  Also, I baby-sat for my next door neighbors for years and they have a girl and then two boys and I just love how the two boys have a special friendship.  I don't know, I think some of the people who say that (and I'm not saying on here, I'm saying anywhere) really just want another girl :)

Baby Bear Boy  2007 Baby Bear Boy 2010 Baby Bear Girl 2013

Posts: 15

Joined 11-Jul-12

15-Jul-12 8:10 pm
I feel odd here sometimes. I've lurked for years -- and like you -- I find that most who post in the GD forums are longing for a sister sibling. There are those of us who have a preference yet don't fall into the extremes of GD, no matter the sex of babe. I had hoped my first baby would be a boy but after a painful miscarriage, and a scary second pregnancy, I had a little girl and I found that she was exactly what I needed. Her gender is no where near as important to me as her awesome personality. Had she been a boy, I know that I wouldn't have loved her any differently. How could I? My husband is currently deployed and before that we were not using any protection to "see what would happen". For a good two years nothing happened. Then we started to actively TTC for another year and still nothing happened. Then, my husband deployed and obviously now nothing at all is happening. Lol. Once he's back home we're planning to try again and see where that leads us. If we end up with a boy, my daughter will have a little brother. If we end up with a girl, my daughter will have a little sister. In order to end up with either of those we need to get pregnant. But, I don't want another baby for the purpose of giving my daughter a sibling. To ask her, she could care less either way. She's a near five year old. Why should she care? Lol.

Jen

Posts: 6,328

Joined 26-Dec-10

Forum Leader Top Poster
Gold

Gold Membership

15-Jul-12 9:05 pm

i asked that same question a few months ago. nobody ever wants to have boys and im not sure why. why are boys this consolation prize? everybody here seems to want girls, girls and then more girls. i just don't get it. boys are just as wonderful as girls. i don't love my girls more then i love my son. my girls aren't cutier, cause let me tell you my son is pretty darn handsome if you ask me. having girls dosen't make me happier or a better mother. plus out of 5 girls none of them act like girls. half the time they play ninja and want to go to karate.

   my friend says she wants a dd so she has someone to get her hair done with or her nails done with... maybe in 5 years or so you can do that.. if she likes that sort of thing. i told her i would go with her plus i can take her out for a drink.

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken and another little born sept 4th!!

Stillwanttwomore....

Posts: 1,329

Joined 3-Oct-10

Top Poster
15-Jul-12 10:29 pm

I asked the same question a couple of years ago....And i never got a good answer either.  And I will start with saying that a fair number of ladies on this forum want a daugther for the experience of raising a daugther , and I pray that all of these women get thier desired gender!!!! .  I myself would like another daughteo just because I have 4 boys and 1 girl and it would be nice to have another girl.  But for the rest of these ladies on this forum.................IT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT and downright pisses me off.  Sons deserve brothers just as much as daughters deserve a sister.  I think a LOT of women want daughters so that they can dress them up and play with dolls and basically makes their daughter into the "mold" they think they should in.  I think these women are selfish and I feel bad for them and I feel bad for their children.. One gender is never better than the other.  And I take pride in the fact that I rasing my sons to be great men, husbands and fathers. 

I know I am going to get a bunch of backlash for wrinting this post, but sometimes it has to be said.

Stillwanttwomore....

Posts: 1,329

Joined 3-Oct-10

Top Poster
15-Jul-12 10:31 pm
PS:  NEWBABY...you should post a updated picture of MIchael, I am sure is so handsome and is going to break a ton of hearts when he is older!!!!!

Posts: 64

Joined 27-Aug-09

16-Jul-12 4:26 am

I think it can seem this way because this board can appear to be slanted in preference to girls, there are plenty of women wanting sons and brothers for thier sons but I think a lot of women would like to experience raising a girl due to familiarity/reliving old hobbies/seeing themselves in their daughter/more choice in clothes/relive good mother/daughter relationship etc and if they have a boy first their desire for a girl grows and they often end up on here. Mostly they are happy with thier boy they just want a girl too. And again, a lot of women had sisters growing up and would like to replicate that relationship with their own children so once they have a girl they think about trying to add another.

i did want a sister for my daughter, I've never had a sister and would like them to hopefully have a strong bond. I was lucky enough to have 2 boys first and even more lucky to go on to have 2 girls (I swayed). I always knew I wanted 4 children and I had always hoped for 2 of each but never really thought I would ever get them. If I had had 2 girls first I would have swayed for boys.

Baby Bear Boy 2006 Baby Bear Boy 2007 Baby Bear Girl 2010 

No. 4 due Sept 2012! It's a Baby Bear Girl !!  Thank you IG!!

Posts: 7

Joined 15-Feb-10

16-Jul-12 8:36 am
We were planning to be done with 2, #3 was a surprise. My main reason for hoping this was a DD is my DS and the new baby will have a large gap, nearly 6 1/2 years, while my DD and the new baby will have a 2 year gap. I would have preferred my close in age kids to be the same gender, so they could grow up close friends. (Although I know there are no guarantees they would be close friends anyway.) I think if tables were turned and my older child was a DD and younger child was a DS, I would hope for another DS. That, and I always wished I had a sister so I was hoping to give that to my DD. But alas, we are done with 3 so BGB will be the makeup of our family.
Baby Boy - 2006 Baby Girl - 2010 Expecting a Baby Boy in the fall of 2012

Posts: 7

Joined 15-Feb-10

16-Jul-12 8:59 am
Tiffany - No offense, but it seems a little hypocritical to come on here with a mixed gender family hoping for a certain gender, and then berate others for doing the same thing? Everyone has their own personal life experiences that shapes what they hope for in their own family. You could tell anyone on this board (including yourself) to just be happy with what they are given. And for the most part, most people are. But that doesn't change the fact that people dream of their family makeup being a certain way, and they might sometimes feel a little disappointment when the reality is not the same as the dream. I'm sure the GD people with mixed gender families feel is much less severe than that of those just hoping for the experience of raising a DD or DS. There are probably people on here who have no DS or DD at all and are just hoping for that experience that find YOU to be selfish since you already have both genders. Its all in the eye of the beholder.
Baby Boy - 2006 Baby Girl - 2010 Expecting a Baby Boy in the fall of 2012

Posts: 2,510

Joined 1-Apr-08

Top Poster
16-Jul-12 9:56 am

newbaby2011:

i asked that same question a few months ago. nobody ever wants to have boys and im not sure why. why are boys this consolation prize? everybody here seems to want girls, girls and then more girls. i just don't get it. boys are just as wonderful as girls. i don't love my girls more then i love my son. my girls aren't cutier, cause let me tell you my son is pretty darn handsome if you ask me. having girls dosen't make me happier or a better mother. plus out of 5 girls none of them act like girls. half the time they play ninja and want to go to karate.

   my friend says she wants a dd so she has someone to get her hair done with or her nails done with... maybe in 5 years or so you can do that.. if she likes that sort of thing. i told her i would go with her plus i can take her out for a drink.

I agree. It's such a piss off isn't it? I can understand some reasoning to why a few posters here would like to give their a DD a sister if it's like there are so many boys and their DD is the only girl or something..ok that's ok then, but I came across many in the past and right now in the library where people have multiple girls (2+) and still want another girl because of the silly superficial reasonings and perception of boys, which is not true..and to be honest I'm finding the "I don't know what to do with a boy" and use the stereotypes as a excuse quite lame now because after thinking about it, even if you never had a son (or daughter), it's an adaptable thing..kind of liking having your first baby..did you know what to do with a baby before having kids. It's a learning experience regardless.

Second sibling relationships,whether sisters, brothers or mix are never guaranteed to become special, especially the deal with sisters.. I don't get why the sister relationship is always the "best" one. There are plenty of sisters that have a great relationship but there are PLENTY that will only attack each other and rip their faces off. And it's the same with brothers and mixed gender siblings. How do you know your much desired daughters,or any children you have will be what you imagine? You as a parent can mold them to become good individuals, but you cannot mold their personalities to be a girly girl or tomboy or whatever.

And maybe we should put a petition to stop selling all these girly pink tutus, frills, pink glitter garbage until there is some respect for boys in this country. Materialism is making people going overboard in general and the selfishness and greed is building up.  I feel some people just want daughters for that sake and bash how boring boys stuff is. People are much more than what they wear. You go to a third world country, you would see people soooo happy to put a pair of ugly red and brown tops and pants on their kids just to keep them warm and safe..not on how they look.

Proud auntie to..

Baby Girl P born November 18, 2000
Baby Girl E born May 30, 2003
Baby Girl D born December 1, 2004
Baby Girl N born September 5, 2006
Baby Girl M born June 3, 2008
Baby Boy D born June 27, 2008
Baby Girl Y born July 19, 2008
Baby Boy G born November 2, 2009
Baby Boy C born November 26, 2010
Baby GirlBaby Girl E & F born October 9, 2011
Baby Girl A born October 24, 2011
Baby Boy D born September 5, 2012
Baby Girl S born November 11, 2012
- New baby coming 2014


Posts: 87

Joined 30-Mar-09

16-Jul-12 10:57 am

JJ89:

It's such a piss off isn't it? I can understand some reasoning to why a few posters here would like to give their a DD a sister if it's like there are so many boys and their DD is the only girl or something..ok that's ok then, but I came across many in the past and right now in the library where people have multiple girls (2+) and still want another girl because of the silly superficial reasonings and perception of boys, which is not true..and to be honest I'm finding the "I don't know what to do with a boy" and use the stereotypes as a excuse quite lame now because after thinking about it, even if you never had a son (or daughter), it's an adaptable thing..kind of liking having your first baby..did you know what to do with a baby before having kids. It's a learning experience regardless.

Second sibling relationships,whether sisters, brothers or mix are never guaranteed to become special, especially the deal with sisters.. I don't get why the sister relationship is always the "best" one. There are plenty of sisters that have a great relationship but there are PLENTY that will only attack each other and rip their faces off. And it's the same with brothers and mixed gender siblings. How do you know your much desired daughters,or any children you have will be what you imagine? You as a parent can mold them to become good individuals, but you cannot mold their personalities to be a girly girl or tomboy or whatever.

And maybe we should put a petition to stop selling all these girly pink tutus, frills, pink glitter garbage until there is some respect for boys in this country. Materialism is making people going overboard in general and the selfishness and greed is building up.  I feel some people just want daughters for that sake and bash how boring boys stuff is. People are much more than what they wear. You go to a third world country, you would see people soooo happy to put a pair of ugly red and brown tops and pants on their kids just to keep them warm and safe..not on how they look.


Absolutely agree with all of this.

I understand people wanting a particular gender if they don't have it but to prefer to have more girls than boys baffles me. I don't understand why it is more important for girls to have a sister than boys to have a brother. Maybe it is this materialism thing that JJ89 mentioned; the whole "culture of me" that we have going on in the western world. Its all about me and what I want. "I want a girl to dress up in pretty girly things, to play with the toys that I played with, I had a sister so I want my girl to, I want a mother daughter relationship, I want a mini me", its all I, I, I, me, me, me. The girl stuff in stores is so in your face, all the pink frills, tutus, princess costumes etc did not exsist when I was growing up. Its no wonder people think they need more girls than boys.

 

 

Readyforbaby3

Posts: 964

Joined 28-Dec-10

Top Poster
16-Jul-12 11:06 am

tiffany12345:
But for the rest of these ladies on this forum.................IT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT and downright pisses me off.  Sons deserve brothers just as much as daughters deserve a sister.  I think a LOT of women want daughters so that they can dress them up and play with dolls and basically makes their daughter into the "mold" they think they should in.  I think these women are selfish and I feel bad for them and I feel bad for their children.. One gender is never better than the other.  And I take pride in the fact that I rasing my sons to be great men, husbands and fathers. 
 

Well said!  The main reason I want a girl is because I already have two boys and it would be nice to have something different and the experience of raising a different gender.  It drives me crazy when people want girls just to make them into little dolls and dress them up.

Baby Bear Boy  2007 Baby Bear Boy 2010 Baby Bear Girl 2013

Page: of 3