Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

Reality Check

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Joined 28-Jun-12

10-Jul-12 12:00 pm

Just last night I was given a reality check regarding my GD fears and it had everything to do with the local news. I was watching the news and it was so sad... missing children... children who have drown. And a teen girl who fell to her death with friends while swimming at a lake. Just awful stuff. Tears came to my eyes listening to story after story be about horrible accidents to someone's child.

I kept quiet about my sadness from the above last night from my DH and we started talking about our second baby. He said he couldn't wait for the new baby... we talked about how our DD would be with a new baby (jealous issues & all that) and he said he wouldn't mind at all another like DD... and he did mention how I have to love all our children the same (I mentioned how Im not sure I can love a second as much as I love our DD... looking bad stupid thing to say and I know Id love all our children the same)... and he said "you'll love all three" Which made me think he is leaning that this one is a girl and we'll go for the boy in a few years. In a way it made me feel good. Like he wants another from me... he obviously thinks Im a great mom (tells me so) but for him to want yet another after this one for his boy... obv he thinks so.

My mind kept going back to the news stories. I realized those parents lost their child. Gender doesnt matter... daughter/son... that's not an issue at all and there's moms to be and moms across the country/world praying and hoping for a miracle for their babes/child/teen/ adult child for them to stay in this life. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried a sob really.... I realized I am so thankful for my DD she is healthy.. and HERE with us... and I am thankful to be carrying a healthy babe so far and I pray it stays that way. BOY/GIRL does NOT matter. We are adding to our family and this baby will be loved and cherished regardless of it's gender. Being pregnant is a blessing. Being pregnant with a healthy baby is a blessing. Having a child here with us... a blessing. There wont be any more complaints or fears or disappointment from me regarding the gender of this baby. None. GD is gone.

And the comments I will get from anyone if this is our darling DD #2.... I will mention that some moms are losing their babes as we speak... Im not going to be selfish and complain about gender with a healthy LO. I will set them in their place the way the news set me straight.

We hear all the time "as long as the baby is healthy" but when stories are horrific and you do some youtube searching and news searching about all those who have lost or weren't able to have their baby... man it puts reality right in your face.

I am greatful. I am happy to be adding to my family. Fears are gone and replaced now with excitement and butterflies. We find out the gender tomorrow night at our gender scan (elective at 16Wks) and we will be opening the envelope at dinner tomorrow after. And we will cheers and laugh and throw baby names around regardless boy/girl. And we will prepare just as we did with DD... either way. we are having a BABY AND I AM SO DAMN EXCITED I CANT HIDE IT ANYMORE LOL.

Forever greatful and appreciative for this forum. I hope all of you can reach the point I have. Good luck to all!! xxxx

Baby Girl2010

expecting a Baby Boy 12/12

Our family will be complete! The pigeon pair!

 

I love my boys!

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10-Jul-12 12:07 pm

HopeFaith:

 We are adding to our family and this baby will be loved and cherished regardless of it's gender. Being pregnant is a blessing. Being pregnant with a healthy baby is a blessing. Having a child here with us... a blessing. There wont be any more complaints or fears or disappointment from me regarding the gender of this baby. None. GD is gone.

And the comments I will get from anyone if this is our darling DD #2.... I will mention that some moms are losing their babes as we speak... Im not going to be selfish and complain about gender with a healthy LO. I will set them in their place the way the news set me straight.

We hear all the time "as long as the baby is healthy" but when stories are horrific and you do some youtube searching and news searching about all those who have lost or weren't able to have their baby... man it puts reality right in your face.

I am greatful. I am happy to be adding to my family. Fears are gone and replaced now with excitement and butterflies. We find out the gender tomorrow night at our gender scan (elective at 16Wks) and we will be opening the envelope at dinner tomorrow after. And we will cheers and laugh and throw baby names around regardless boy/girl. And we will prepare just as we did with DD... either way. we are having a BABY AND I AM SO DAMN EXCITED I CANT HIDE IT ANYMORE LOL.

Forever greatful and appreciative for this forum. I hope all of you can reach the point I have. Good luck to all!! xxxx

 

 

Heart  Wise words. 

 

I am so, so glad you have reached this point.  ENJOY the rest of your pregnancy!!!! Love Ya!

 


Posts: 156

Joined 28-Jun-12

10-Jul-12 12:28 pm

Thank you!

I also thought how we are given what we are supposed to have. Mybe my DD will need a sister one day... or if it's a boy she'll need her brothers help... everything for a reason. I even think this baby may save our DD one day... maybe she'll be the voice of reason during dangerous situations when they are teens/young adults. OR maybe this baby will need DD one day... you never know. But I believe there HAS to be a reason for everything in life. This is our destiny. Whether we are adding a son or another daughter... they will fit nicely into our family. They will be here for a reason. Maybe I will need two daughters to teach me a thing or two lol.

Whatever the reason or gender... I am so happy to be adding to our family.

Baby Girl2010

expecting a Baby Boy 12/12

Our family will be complete! The pigeon pair!

I love my boys!

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10-Jul-12 12:44 pm

HopeFaith:

Thank you!

I also thought how we are given what we are supposed to have. Mybe my DD will need a sister one day... or if it's a boy she'll need her brothers help... everything for a reason. I even think this baby may save our DD one day... maybe she'll be the voice of reason during dangerous situations when they are teens/young adults. OR maybe this baby will need DD one day... you never know. But I believe there HAS to be a reason for everything in life. This is our destiny. Whether we are adding a son or another daughter... they will fit nicely into our family. They will be here for a reason. Maybe I will need two daughters to teach me a thing or two lol.

Whatever the reason or gender... I am so happy to be adding to our family.

 

 

Exactly!  

 

I often sing to my sons:

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.  

That applies to us adults as well!  

 

I have no doubt that this new baby of yours is meant to be yours be it boy or girl.

 

CONGRATS!  & Good Luck Clover at your scan!

 


Posts: 156

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10-Jul-12 12:55 pm

Aww that made me teary because my parents used to sing that line to me all the time as a child and especially as a teen and young adult lol!

I have to remember to break that out when my DD is throwing herself into a tantrum lol she may not get it now but it will atleast crack me up and help me through the crying Happy Giggle

Thank you! I will keep IG posted about what we are expecting!

Baby Girl2010

expecting a Baby Boy 12/12

Our family will be complete! The pigeon pair!

Jen

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10-Jul-12 1:18 pm
i wish people didn't have to bury their children before they realise how silly something like gender really is. it was a cold slap in the face for me. if only i could go back in time and be greatful for a 5th daughter. i wonder everyday what she would look like, things she would like. any baby is a blessing. congrats to all the new mothers 

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken and another little born sept 4th!!

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10-Jul-12 8:45 pm
Aww yeay! So glad you're starting to get excited and ready to welcome either gender... I've said it before, but you're VERY lucky and blessed whether boy or girl #2!!! Happy Smile SO excited about your gender reveal!! Have fun hon!!

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

formerly Saggyrl11

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10-Jul-12 10:01 pm

I love this thread Heart

I recently started donating matching mummy & baby bracelets to a charity here in Australia that makes up memory boxes for parents of stillborns. Its so so sad to think that some parents dont even get the chance to bring their babies home.

It also makes me feel very silly that I ever cared what gender my children were.

I also have a wonderful quote that I put up in my sons room while I was pregnant and never throught anymore about it until the moment he was born and realised how true it was:

"And then I saw you for the first time, and my soul went - "there you are - Ive been looking for you" Heart

a gorgoeus Baby Girl and a little Baby Boy Heart I'll never let you go xxx

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10-Jul-12 10:24 pm

chickfromaus:

"And then I saw you for the first time, and my soul went - "there you are - Ive been looking for you" Heart

 

 

This is SO true, and it just made me tear up! Hearts

 

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

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10-Jul-12 10:31 pm

Agree I'm so glad you are at a good place and I couldn't agree with you more on the points you made. There are a lot of posts here I just can't respond to because I know I wouldn't be able to sound very supportive. All one has to do is watch the news or even read the "infant loss" stories on this site to realize how fragile and precious life is. The joy of a healthy child isn't something to be taken lightly, but celebrated.

Good Luck CloverGood luck at your scan, can't wait to see your update!

It's not my children's job to make ME happy, It's MY job to make THEM happy

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10-Jul-12 10:57 pm
chickfromaus:

I love this thread Heart

I recently started donating matching mummy & baby bracelets to a charity here in Australia that makes up memory boxes for parents of stillborns. Its so so sad to think that some parents dont even get the chance to bring their babies home.

It also makes me feel very silly that I ever cared what gender my children were.

I also have a wonderful quote that I put up in my sons room while I was pregnant and never throught anymore about it until the moment he was born and realised how true it was:

"And then I saw you for the first time, and my soul went - "there you are - Ive been looking for you" Heart

I think that's wonderful what you're doing! People like you amaze me, really. Being as My DD was stillborn. I feel like I honestly "shouldn't" be here. I should just care about the babies health and Nothing else. I actually feel very isolated in my stillbirth group Because nobody there would understand. Health comes first, no matter what. And I'm Worried everyday about this baby and If we'll make it. But my heart breaks for the daughter I should have had. It's very hard for Me to say that my one and only daughter is gone. My therapist says its all about grieving and so that's what I'm Still doing 3 years later. I unfortunately, know the pain of Losing a Child. It's unbearable. That was the worst day of my life and Always will be. I will never again say this was the worst or that was. No, I'm forever changed and I feel like Damaged goods. So I applaud you for getting to that point. And for just being thankful for the baby you're Carrying. Gender really doesn't matter in the grand scheme Of things. And I need to remind myself of that also.

Baby Bear Boy -2006 -2009 *Our Little Princess, with us for 23 Beautiful Weeks* Baby Bear Boy -2010 Baby Bear Boy -2012 and another coming December 2014

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11-Jul-12 8:05 am

 I feel like I honestly "shouldn't" be here. I should just care about the babies health and Nothing else. I actually feel very isolated in my stillbirth group Because nobody there would understand. Health comes first, no matter what. And I'm Worried everyday about this baby and If we'll make it. But my heart breaks for the daughter I should have had. It's very hard for Me to say that my one and only daughter is gone. My therapist says its all about grieving and so that's what I'm Still doing 3 years later. I unfortunately, know the pain of Losing a Child. It's unbearable. That was the worst day of my life and Always will be. I will never again say this was the worst or that was. No, I'm forever changed and I feel like Damaged goods. So I applaud you for getting to that point. And for just being thankful for the baby you're Carrying. Gender really doesn't matter in the grand scheme Of things. And I need to remind myself of that also.

Don't be hard on yourself. You had a daughter and you lost a daughter. That is an incredibly sad and difficult thing to go through. I think it is much harder than just wanting a daughter and getting a son. You rprobably deserve to be here more than anyone else.  My friend was in the same position as you - had a ds then lost her dd at 27 weeks. She was very angry with herself that she cared about having another girl but I think it is very very natural. I am so sorry for your loss XXX

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11-Jul-12 11:01 am

newbaby2011:
i wish people didn't have to bury their children before they realise how silly something like gender really is. it was a cold slap in the face for me. if only i could go back in time and be greatful for a 5th daughter. i wonder everyday what she would look like, things she would like. any baby is a blessing. congrats to all the new mothers 

I am soooo sorry for you loss! Stay strong!

Baby Girl2010

expecting a Baby Boy 12/12

Our family will be complete! The pigeon pair!

Posts: 156

Joined 28-Jun-12

11-Jul-12 11:04 am

We go for our gender scan tonite but I posted a nub photo in the gender prediction forum and so far only a few guesses....

It's really just for fun.

Boy or Girl I cant wait to have another baby!

Full-size image

Baby Girl2010

expecting a Baby Boy 12/12

Our family will be complete! The pigeon pair!

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11-Jul-12 11:11 am

 hopefaith...How do you know when he was saying all three that he meant you would particually go for a boy? What if he just desires three beautiful children with you:)...try to think of it that way hehe:D......and I am so glad and happy that you came to this realization...it took me a bit too....and i hope i stay there after next week...we too are havn it written down and put in envelope so we can open it when we are ready..or..never open it...

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