Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

Letting go of my dream

Posts: 1,093

Joined 4-May-12

Top Poster
2-Jul-12 3:21 pm

I was reading all the sway tactics and about high tech and what not and I came to a realization...How many of you are truly happy??? How worth it is it to go through all of that just to "Hopefully" get the little girl or boy you so desperatly want??? I know that I would give anything to have my own little girl...GOD WOULD I...but thinking about all the stress I am already going through NOT trying to even concieve let alone trying for a little girl...and I just cant believe it...I do not think my relationship, or my mind could handle that, especially if I still did not get my little girl...I am not saying anyone who is willing to go through all that is dumb, NO you are much stronger than I am. Maybe its because I couldnt handle being let down again. Maybe I finally came to a point where I feel like this really should be my last baby that I am happy with the ones we have...even if this is a little boy again...I do not know..I just know that I do enough work....and sex is not supposed to feel like a chore...and sad enouhg but it already feels like that from time to time lol....and its supposed to be my release...a time of us...so I just do not think for me, it wil be healthy. My heart will always long for that little girl...but my mind knows better and knows this is my path these our my babies even if they arent all biologically mine and I love them and am so happy, even when they drive me nuts like today....and disobey all day...like today lol...maybe thats part of what has helped me accept this as my last..boy or girl...i really dont know...I just know i am tired of being so depressed about something I shouldnt be...have no control over... I just want to enjoy my life, this pregnancy, this baby....i am so tired of crying all the time..I know that my emotions will still be all over..Im pregnant lol..and i have a man who wants to be daddy but he wants to be the fun daddy..not the punisher..and well ya thats a situation...even tho it adds to all my pain emotional and physical...but anyways...I think i truly am ok with being done and having a boy...l even take back making dh promise me f have the money later eithe radoption or tube reversal and high tech....I dont need that light in the tunnel anymore..I have it and it is all the babies and my dh and thats all I need..Just hope singing the same tune in two weeks when I find out for sure ...HOPEFULLY...what we are having....if we decide to know lol....I wish you luck to all the other moms facing what I have been...I feel you on so many levels and I hope one day you get your desire...and if you dont..I hope that you can find a way to cope quickly....Either way we truly are blessed to have all boys, all girls, boy and girl...whatever it is..we are truly blessed and I know our kids feel our pain..my children do and want a girl as bad as me..if not more...but I wonder if it isnt my fualt they want a girl so bad???? Even tho i never said it out loud and always tell them its going to be ok if its not a girl...even tho not truly believing it myself...i wonder if i rubbed it all off on them...and now no one is happy...and that makes me even sadder..It should not be sad to be bringing a baby into this world.....and im tired of feeling so down...sorry for long rant u should all know me by now as the ranter lol..thank you for listening and i truly hope some others can find comfort and support with these words...inspiration...anything...I know reading all of the other ladies dissapointments has helped me....its made me open my eyes to what I am doing....and I want to be better than this...Im ready to be happy and the only way that will happen is if i just let go and be happy so heres me giving it a try letting go and letting fate take control...the way it is supposed to be...what happens, happens for a reason...might not be the reasons i want but its not my life that matters anymore its my little ones. I hope to stay strong and not break down again...i had a bad one last night...hate to admit that for a few brief seconds I wanted to be done all together...i felt like i had nothing left in me to keep being a mom and felt like what was the point..and thought very bad thoughts...and then I "woke" up..and realized i cant think like this anymore I cant let myself get so worked up and hurt that i break down...i have too much to live for now...And so do all of you...you all have been a blessing for me..thank you

 

Posts: 2,457

Joined 3-Aug-09

Top Poster
2-Jul-12 3:27 pm
Good for you hun. I feel the same. We will have one or two more depending on what my body can handle then we are done. I want to be happy with what I have and I've already wasted so much of my precious children's lives chasing a dream which may never be realised xx
Love my babies

Posts: 1,093

Joined 4-May-12

Top Poster
2-Jul-12 3:36 pm

 thank you and I hope to remain strong. I know my body wont handle more..Ive only given birth to two but the last one and this one so full of complications on me and the babies that I just dont know what would happen if i kept tryng. I am actually very lucky, I was told I would never have babies and told again after my first son...I wasnt told again after my second but I was told that it would not be the best on me, which it hasnt....I always have relatvly healthy children its really my body that breaks down....and I never actually was trying to get pregnant...let alone for a sex, although i was just about to start trying...and I am actually thankful I did not because I think that would of been so much harder on me....I just wish that from the moment I found out I was ok with boy or girl...altho family comments did not help with everyone sayin better be a girl or else and better be last one....but i spent so much of this pregnancy hating myself...and crying over a broken dream..when in reality this little one is a dream come true regardless of sex...and I hope I can finaly enjoy this pregnancy like I am supposed to..I love this baby...and now i hope I wont have any more dark thoughts...Good luck with you and hope you get to enjoy the experience of becoming a mom all over again..It truly is a wonderful experience and I wish I would of just never thought about the rest of it.

Posts: 351

Joined 14-Nov-10

Top Poster
2-Jul-12 4:19 pm
I can not take a chance through science to have my own son. It's too much emotionally to think it could be another girl. I agree the negative comments on pushing for me to have a son or like you said "better be a girl" take its toll. I am done this last LO is my 4th girl and emotionally it isn't easy but to try for a boy and then have another girl would push me over the edge emotionally. So for me the dream is over and I have to move forward. Maybe one of my girls will have a boy and I can have a grandson.

My princessesBaby GirlBaby GirlBaby GirlBaby Girl My family is 4DDs no more LO's and moving forward knowing there will never be a little boy in my life.

Posts: 1,093

Joined 4-May-12

Top Poster
2-Jul-12 4:23 pm

 thats what i keep telln myself...maybe one of my sons will have a little girl lol....i am lucky tho i have one person who understands how i feel in my fam and ataully has talked to me about it now...my grandma whom i always was close with..she had three boys always wanted a girl..so when i told her that i was havn probs cuz of this she said she knows..she still is sad she never got a girl. she got a step daughter when she was older retired after being widowed....but she agrees its not the same...i was her little girl lol....i was the only one that helped her thru her acceptance of all boys..first grandbaby and first girl lol i was spoiled wrotten by her and i was with her all the time i think she took over lol...so heres hopn i can steal one of my sons adorable daughters lol but it was nice to know that i even have a fam member who feels the way i feel and understands and hasnt judged me even tho she wants me to have a girl too lol....

Posts: 252

Joined 20-Jan-12

2-Jul-12 11:01 pm
Very well said....I am also slowly getting to terms with not having my dream gender baby ....I have stressed myself and my husband enough over it ....had failed attempts, have put on weight, feel guilty whenever I put something in my mouth which I should'nt be ......don't think I can do this anymore..... I am thinking I will volunteer at a hospital or daycare so that I can be some baby boys ....so what if they are not my own, love can always be showered ....

Baby Girl 2008    Baby Girl 2010 Expecting Baby Girl in Nov 2013

Posts: 294

Joined 14-Sep-11

2-Jul-12 11:27 pm
I was not going to go for no 6 unless u was sure I was emotionally ready to hear a boy it took me 5 years to resolve that ...once I did I did sway for 6 mos and I have no idea how or what about it worked but it did ..and despite the craziness of it all I'm glad I did..in the end not hearing a boy was bitter sweet I'm very excited to be pg w my DD but at the same time just a little sad at not hearing boy just because I know what it's like having them.. They r all mommys boys plus it took me so long to prepare myself for hearing it I almost expected it..I wish you luck on your journey thru this very emotional time ;)
Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Posts: 53

Joined 31-Oct-10

3-Jul-12 1:14 pm
You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. I wish you the best.

Help-meet to the most loving man alive and mama to Baby Girl2003 Baby Boy2006 Baby Boy2009 Baby Boy2011!


Posts: 150

Joined 13-Jun-11

3-Jul-12 3:25 pm

Im letting go too.........Not having a girl changed my life forever. I have beautiful sons, but I am not as happy as I was when I still thought I have the chance to have a daughter. I was full of joy and dreams. Now that I dont have a little girl, I am more serious. I dont want to meet new people or go to play dates, birthday parties or baby showers. I have the friends I always had and dont want new friendships. I have to raise my sons, clean for them, cook for them and help them with school. I also have to work. There is no room in my house for another child and there is no time to dream about a DD. Though the pain is there every day. Its best for me to quit.

Posts: 150

Joined 13-Jun-11

3-Jul-12 3:35 pm

 @Amy78

yeah thats right. feeling guilty of eating the "wrong" food. no way. Im done. I am skinny enough as it is and I cant be on any diet just to sway girl. I have low iron anyways. Its over for me. But respect to the ones who were strong enough to do it and got their DG.

Posts: 340

Joined 12-Dec-11

Top Poster
3-Jul-12 3:37 pm
I'm kinda the same as the above poster. I have let go of my girl dream...it is important to have other dreams and as I have said all along having an infinite number of kids until I get my girl would get on the way of almost all of my other dreams. I get the impression that it is a lot more common in the US than it is in the UK to have large families any way...cost of living over here is outrageous so it makes my decision easier. Once you start dreaming other dreams, it definitely gets easier...heard a good quote recently - happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have - so true!
Proud mummy of 2 wonderful boys and now a 3rd one one the way

Posts: 150

Joined 13-Jun-11

3-Jul-12 3:45 pm

 @ Ruby.....

......wanting and accepting what u have.........so true Happy

I cant say that Im happy just yet, but Im trying to come to terms with how my life turned out...

Posts: 132

Joined 25-May-12

3-Jul-12 7:30 pm
I'm back and forth all the time. Should I really try again and put myself through more stress? My Husband isn't even on board 100% about trying again after this baby. I'm lucky he even said that he would keep an open mind about it. I would really like to get to that place where I'm okay with not having another daughter. All I really want is peace about the situation. To just feel complete with this baby. I know we would all like to feel that way. You have time to come to a decision. I hope you can truly find peace over this to just let go. Hugs!

Baby Bear Boy -2006 Baby Bear Girl- 2009 *Our Little Princess, with us for 23 Beautiful Weeks* Baby Bear Boy- 2010 Baby Bear Boy -2012

Posts: 252

Joined 20-Jan-12

4-Jul-12 1:57 am
I personally don't think people get their DG bcoz they stick to the diet and give it their best shot..if that was the case there would never have been a Gender Disappointment section :) Its just that some things work for some people ......I didn't even know about swaying when i got my DD....today had I swayed I may not have had a DD who knows .....who knows ... my mind is never in sex...all my attention is on how much EWCM i have, what position, & the list goes on.....I sometime wonder why did I ever have to get into this ! & the moment I get pregnant, I will be waiting for the 20 week appointment ! Uhhh ... My DH told me that we should't really hope for a DG...its not fair to the kid we have..its like telling him/her our life isn't complete with them ....only the other gender child will make us happy ....uhhh!

Baby Girl 2008    Baby Girl 2010 Expecting Baby Girl in Nov 2013

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