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Please tell me the world has not gone crazy!! This is ridiculous

Posts: 82

Joined 5-Jun-12

28-Jun-12 8:27 am

 So we decided on a name for our baby girl, we want to name her Grace Mariellyn (Mariellyn being my husband's mothers name and pronounced Mary Ellen) and we are going to call her Gracie. I was so excited to start telling people and when I told my sister in law on facebook I get a message back saying that she spoke with her husband and they both would rather we did not use the name Grace since it is their daughters MIDDLE name. WTH who are they to be telling me what I can and cannot name my child. I am beyond pissed. It would be one thing if we were wanting to use their daughters FIRST name, Which I would never do. I am so ready to give her a piece of my mind! How would you feel about this situation and or handle it? because I am NOT going to change the name!

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28-Jun-12 8:36 am

Oh sweety am having the same problem but mine abit more funny than yours, we having our first boy after 2 DD and we liked a name ...my brother and his wife think we shoudnt take that name because my brother he liked that name and he want to use it for his son(his wife not pregnant yet lol) whenever we think of boys name then jump and say you cant name him  that name because we picked it first for our son lol the son they want to have in the future

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Joined 23-Apr-10

28-Jun-12 8:38 am

I have never heard such nonsence really though its pathetic.

If I were in your shoes I would tell her straight it's not like your using her daughters first name, she's being petty and so is her husband!!

Good on you not changing your daughters name I wouldn't either haha!

xx

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Joined 5-Jun-12

28-Jun-12 8:40 am

 That came up in our family as well but with my side of the family with a boy name ...my brother loved a name that we were considering for our baby if it was a boy and we just agreed it was first come first serve lol...they were not expecting either and luckily it never was an issue because we are having a girl!

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28-Jun-12 8:44 am

Lisa x x:

I have never heard such nonsence really though its pathetic.

If I were in your shoes I would tell her straight it's not like your using her daughters first name, she's being petty and so is her husband!!

Good on you not changing your daughters name I wouldn't either haha!

xx

 

Thank God I am not alone! It is petty if you ask me and my husband is just as angry as I am. My sister in laws who arguement is her daughters name is Emerson Grace and they wanted her to be able to use the name Grace as a first name if she decided down the road she doesn't like the name Emerson. But our daughters live 100 miles away from each other would it be soooo much trouble for them to make her go by Emerson when she is around her cousin the 3 times a year we see them?

 

Baby Boy 1-11-06  Baby Boy 4-13-08  Baby Girl 12-17-10 and final baby Baby Girl due 12-5-12

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Joined 23-Apr-10

28-Jun-12 9:05 am

So you can't call your daughter her name because your SIL's daughter might not like her first name that her and her husband named her?? then they should of thought about that before naming her then!

I think that's a lame excuse she's being silly haha!

My eldest's son's middle name is jamie and a few years later my SIL had her son and called him Jamie I would of never of dreamt at saying anything like that to her she would of just laughed at me anyway.

Stand your ground and don't change your daughters name it's a beautiful name :)

I think if you asked most peoples opponion they would think she's being petty too.

xx

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Joined 5-Jun-12

28-Jun-12 9:23 am

 I know that is what I was thinking, If she liked Grace so much she should have just given that to her for her first name. I have already spoke with my mother and my husband and they both agree it is ridiculous, and I know 99% of the population would be on my side. I know this same situation has happend more than once on my side of the family, Not one person has even dreamed of having a problem with it or making an issue out of it. My sister in law just likes to be in control and that is all this is...She also had an issue when we were naming our last daughter because we were throwing around the idea of Emma and she of course thought that was too close to Emerson...and since we decided we didn't want to use the name Emma on our own since it was so common we let it go with out a fight, maybe we should have put her in her place back then!

Baby Boy 1-11-06  Baby Boy 4-13-08  Baby Girl 12-17-10 and final baby Baby Girl due 12-5-12

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Joined 23-Apr-10

28-Jun-12 9:34 am

It seems to me as though she is jealous always having something to say when telling her your names for your daughters.

I could understand her having something to say if Grace was her daughters first name but not her middle name it's laughable.

Will you message her back or just leave it?

xx 

Posts: 82

Joined 5-Jun-12

28-Jun-12 9:52 am

This may have something also to do with the fact that she wants to have another baby and her husband said no. She has two daughters, and maybe the fact that I have 4 kids is rubbing her the wrong way. I am not going to message her back today, I need some time to cool down if I were to write one now I may say something I will regret later. And I agree with you if I went to her and said we are naming our baby Emerson she would most certainly be able to have a problem with it, but I would NEVER do that! My husband and I are going to stand our ground and if she wants to have a problem she is welcome to but I am not going to pay any attention to it!

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28-Jun-12 10:03 am

Good for you, stand your ground!  Just sounds like she's jealous and is trying to control the situation.  That is EXACTLY why we do not reveal our names until birth.  My SIS in lawSSS would do the SAME thing!  Good Luck

 

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28-Jun-12 10:08 am

FARMER:

Good for you, stand your ground!  Just sounds like she's jealous and is trying to control the situation.  That is EXACTLY why we do not reveal our names until birth.  My SIS in lawSSS would do the SAME thing!  Good Luck

 

Yep lesson learned! I wish we would have have waited to announce it! Thanks it feels good to know that so many agree with me and I am not in the wrong for "stealing" her daughters middle name lol

 

Baby Boy 1-11-06  Baby Boy 4-13-08  Baby Girl 12-17-10 and final baby Baby Girl due 12-5-12

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28-Jun-12 12:20 pm

Good luck anyway!

 Remember that it's problem not yours if she wants to be petty over it.

xx

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Joined 5-Jun-12

28-Jun-12 1:47 pm

 This is the orginal message

 I spoke with Chris and while we certainly don't want to start anything we would rather you did not use Grace. You are obviously free to do what you wish but we do use Grace on a regular daily basis and like i said purposely used it in case she decides one day she doesn't care for Emerson or she wants a more professional name someday. Feel free to use Sue if you want as it is a family name and we really only use that for Annaliese when she is in trouble. LOL. If she ever wants to shorten her name it will be Aliese or Ali. Even a name like LilyAnn was fine since you were going to call her Lily and Ann is obviously part of your name too. Can't wait to meet her no matter what her name ends up being!

 

I caved and wrote her back...this is what I wrote

 

  • I am going to be completely honest here and this is hard for me since I hate confrontation, but I feel like this is too important not to stand up for myself. Two parts of this message have really gotten to me, first of all I would never have one bit of an issue with someone in my family using one of my children's middle names, I have never once heard Emerson called Grace alone, and if she wants to be called Grace down the road that's fine, who cares they will never go to the same school and most likely will never live in the same town. so I just don't understand what the big deal is. My other issue is that I feel that it was pretty condescending when you said "feel free to use Sue" maybe that wasn't your intention, but you made it sound like you were giving me permission to use a name that we have every right to use in the first place. Bottom line is and I say this in the nicest way possible, this is no ones decision but Dan and I. It would be one thing if we wanted to name our daughter Annaliese or Emerson and obviously we would not do that out of respect, but me personally if my brother came to me and said I am going to name my child Catherine, James, or John I would think it was really cool. I don't want this to become a problem either, but we are going to stand our ground because this is a name we are both in love with and I am not going to settle for something I don't love, just because someone has a problem with it.

 And this is what I got back....*sighs*

 What I meant when i said feel free to use Sue as a middle name because i understand it is a family name and we do not usually use it much. And having two kids with the same middle name isn't a big deal at all. and only said it If you changed to a different name and decided Sue fit better than Mariellyn did. We believe that if someone family or close friend has already used the name that it is polite to ask if they mind. We actually have a friend with a daughter named Addison which is the other name we considered had considered with Emerson. We asked if they minded if we used it. Guess that's just always been our train of thought when it comes to names....not trying to sound condensending at all. just how we view it. I apologize if that is how you interrupted that.
As far as Emerson Grace. We do sometimes on rare occasion call Emerson just Grace...but Chris calls her Em Grace more times than not these days. I tend to go between Em, Em Grace, Emme Grace, and Emerson. When we named her we actually chose Grace in case she someday didn't like Emerson and wanted a nice girly name. I have several family members who go by their middle names so it wasn't anything new to me. She may never go fully by Grace. But there is a possibility that she might want to someday. While they wouldn't be in the same school more than likely, we would have two Grace's in the immediate family at get togethers, etc...
Chris and i are not having a baby now or maybe not ever but a boy was always going to be James David after both grandfathers and call him JD. But when Dan married you, we have always said that was not an option anymore out of respect for you and Ryan. That's just how we feel about it. you and Dan do not felt the same way. Neither way is right or wrong but we do feel differently about it. Like I said, you are free to name her what you wish. But I felt the need to stand up for ourselves as well as we do use it on a regular basis and we will not discourage her from using it as a first name if she should ever want to. Now you know how we feel about it. It's up to you what you do from here.

 

For reference James is my first son Ryan's middle name. I give up on trying to reason with her...I could not care less if she uses my sons middle name for her son if she ever has one...I am not that self absorbed and I told her that so whatever...she can have her panties in a twist all she wants  I am DONE WITH THIS 

Baby Boy 1-11-06  Baby Boy 4-13-08  Baby Girl 12-17-10 and final baby Baby Girl due 12-5-12

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Top Poster
28-Jun-12 2:02 pm

 simmilar boat i guess...just found out my little sis havn her first baby...shes only few weeks and already pickn names out and everyone telln her to use annalynn..well i have already had two of my baby girl names stolen by my dh ex.....and i dont know if girl but thats hard enough...now just because my sis is the fave they all want her to use my mom middle name in the baby name..after i already had a name picked out for the last few months now...autumn grace lynn...so im a little upset but mine comes first and im namin it that either way....if a girl....but in your case i mean its not her first name..its not bad at all its like a compliment??? why would they be so mad...and im not really mad about my sis wantn use the name too...just upset that no one seems to remember im usin it already and no one seems to care now cuz they got her to gloat all over...and im be sad if she has the first girl grandbaby too..i can already see it...ugh....sorry lol...but do what you want it ur baby...they want to be mad whatever just like i cant stop her if she wanted to but shes gonna have deal with the fact that im using it too

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Joined 23-Apr-10

28-Jun-12 2:19 pm

Wowzerrrr!! She sound's like a control freak its like she was given you permission on what to call your daughter cheek of it lol!!

I don't get the bit were she say's there will be 2 Grace's in the immediate family errrr no there won't be because your daughter is not called Grace that's her middle name.

Glad you stood your ground and now she know's how you and your husband feels about it too!! xx

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