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Kid's with Gd?

Posts: 148

Joined 27-Mar-12

26-Jun-12 9:20 pm
Hi everyone! So I have 1.5 weeks left in this pregnancy and the closer I get to the end the more I'm freaking myself out! I have two little boys already 7 and 3 and I'm pregnant with a surprise baby :) Now personally, while I would like to have a daughter, im not really worried about it because I would be super happy to have three of a kind as well. I just love babies! What im freaking out about (besides the usual; how can i manage three kids, is the baby going to be okay, i hope breastfeeding goes easier this time) is how my eldest is going to react. He's 7 now and when i was pregnant with my second he wanted a girl, he was pretty happy about getting a brother as we let him know it could be either. About a month after my second was born my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's. We chose not to find out the sex of this baby because its a tradition in my family. And yet as often as I've told my son that the baby could be a boy, this time he is adamant that its a girl and im starting to worry how he will take it if this baby is a boy? Yes, he took it well when his brother was a boy but he was three at the time and he also knows that mommy and daddy are not having anymore babies. This is IT! Then the second guessing comes in, maybe i should have just found out what the baby is...but at the same time we considered this and he has to get used to things not necessairly going his way. Also life is full of surprises and we thought at least with this, there is no wrong answer and a baby is a joyful occasion regardless of gender. We made a playful bet that if the baby is a girl I owe him and his dad 5 dollars and if its a boy they owe me 5...now im thinking, crap that was probably a dumb idea...Aspy kids hate losing :( but i was just trying to make it fun you know? I know a lot of this just in my mind, yet i can't help but worry that we did the wrong thing? Or maybe we should have handled it differently? Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? How did your kids react if you didnt have the gender they wanted? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm really worried about his reaction and there really is not much to be done at this point :(
 

Posts: 93

Joined 17-Jun-11

27-Jun-12 1:30 am

 This just brought up some old feelings i had when I was little ,my Mom remarried and had her 3rd which i soooo wanted a Girl,but he was a boy!I was really upset too,but i got over it when he was born ,after short a while I forgot about it,and was just happy with him,like im sure your son willl in time.I bought a present from the baby to my eldest son when he was born,which also kinda breaks the ice:)

                                                               DS1-2007DS2-2010Due 2013 Its a Girl! 

                                           

Posts: 332

Joined 9-Sep-08

Top Poster
27-Jun-12 3:40 am
My two boys were a little younger (4 and 2) when my daughter was born. They both wanted a brother and were not disappointed at all. They treat her like a boy anyway even though she is only 8 months. I think a lot depends on your attitude towards the baby too. If you show negative feelings towards a certain gender then I believe they will too.
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Posts: 148

Joined 27-Mar-12

27-Jun-12 12:25 pm

Thanks ladies. I'm pretty sure he too will get over it eventually but I know it will probably take longer than the average kid because of the Asperger's. Plus maybe he'll get the little sister he wants, I guess because there hasn't been a girl on hubbys side of the family in 40 years its hard to fathom that happenning. I did get the boys a big brother gift but my oldest doesn't distract very easily. I'm hoping that my pregnancy hormones are just getting the better of me and that regardless of what happens my oldest will be okay *fx* I'm not much worried about my attitude as I honeslty would be happy with both genders, all boys or all girls, I think my oldest has got this gd from my mil, who has "only ever wanted a girl". Also he doesn't like how its uneven: boys-3 girls-1, seems silly but he fixates on some of these types of things.

Posts: 512

Joined 29-Oct-08

Top Poster
27-Jun-12 4:33 pm
He'll be fine and will adjust either way.  My boys all really wanted this baby and my last baby to be a girl, and they still say things about that at times.  But there isn't really anything they can do about it.  It's funny though because some friends of ours who have 5 boys just found out that they are having a girl for #6 and my 3rd son loves tell everyone about that.  I think maybe he's secretly hoping that we'll have another and it will be a girl.  That is not going to happen though, so he's just going to have to move on!  Stick out tongue

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Posts: 318

Joined 12-Jul-11

Top Poster
27-Jun-12 11:24 pm

I've had gd since I was five when my Mom had her fourth boy and I wanted a sister so bad! I still feel like that to this day and it is a struggle. I feel as if something is missing all the time and am jealous of other people who have sisters.

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Posts: 148

Joined 27-Mar-12

2-Jul-12 9:06 am

Gluetn- I think you are right, he probably will get over it and im probably just letting the hormones get the better of me. I think to, that im using this to distract me from the fact that im most worried about handling the three of them and doing well. It honeslty worries me, just how many balls are gonna drop and can i get my act together enough that it wont negativley affect my oldest who does not deal well with change and inconsisentcy :s Congrats on your family, I bet your boys are just adorable! Also do they ever allow you to dress them alike? I love the idea of the boys all in their christmas jammies and im wondering if i still be able to do that(and for how long) when this lil monkey is(finally!) born!

 NIckajax- Im sorry you feel that way. I was in the middle of an older brother and a younger sister so i cant really relate. But I can tell you that from my own personal expirence I have always been closer to my brother than my sister so its not set it stone either.

Posts: 148

Joined 27-Mar-12

13-Jul-12 7:17 am
It's a Girl! Needless to say my oldest is thrilled!! And loves to remind me that i owe him 5 bucks!!

MA

Posts: 287

Joined 12-Oct-11

13-Jul-12 8:06 am

I always wanted to have a boy and girl combination. My first alive baby is a girl and she always wanted sisters... she said brothers are troublesome and she do not want them.. however as she is growing up now, her idea about brother is changing too... and I have heard a lot of times you conceive what your kids want as a sibling... so lets see!! Good Luck!

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