I'm new to this website. I found it when I was researching nubs. And I wish I would have found it sooner! So I'll start with my backstory. I've always wanted a daughter. I couldn't imagine my life without a little girl in it. I had my first son in 2006. His father left during my pregnancy. But God blessed me with an amazing man a year and half later. He was so great with my son, he stepped up to the plate 100%. You would never know that my Son wasn't his. Our first child together was the Daughter I had always hoped and prayed for. I was over the moon. I felt so blessed. I had my Son and My Daughter, along with this amazing man. Life couldn't be better. Then September of 2009 rolled around. I was almost 23 weeks pregnant. I wasn't feeling her move all day. I took a trip into the doctors office and they confirmed my worst fear. She no longer had a heartbeat. And we still don't know what happened to this day. I delivered a healthy, beautiful, baby girl. She was perfect in every way. Which is what is so hard..they found Nothing wrong..nothing! I immediately wanted to try again and my poor husband, this being his first baby was traumatized. But agreed to try again as soon as we were able.
This was when my GD really started. I found out that our Second baby was a boy, even though I KNEW it was a girl. Just knew it. But I was wrong and he was clearly a boy. Not that I was trying to replace her, because that's impossible. And of course I just wanted a healthy, screaming baby in the end! But I couldn't let go of not having a daughter. Just the year before I was planning her room and our baby shower. Dreaming of what she would look like. I just couldn't let it go that easy. It was very traumatizing for me. So I talked my husband into trying just one more time. And this is our last and final baby. Well, just the other day my Doctor and a Tech guessed Boy. First the Tech actually Said Girl, then switched to boy. So now I'm just trying to sort through this. I was only 13 weeks, but more than likely they were right. It's really hard to believe that We will Never have another little girl. And I can't keep trying just to get a girl. I couldn't handle more than 3 children. So Here I am trying to make myself realize that the dream is over and that I should just get my tubes tied during my c-section. I'm afraid the GD is REALLY going to hit me later at my 16 week ultrasound that I have set up. I just know I'm going to Hear Boy again. And I will love him to pieces, just as I have my other children. But my heart will ALWAYS yearn for a Daughter. My only one isn't here and it kills me everyday. Sorry this got so long! Just wondering how you ladies, that are done and haven't gotten your Son or Daughter are handling it? Thanks Everyone!