I always knew I wanted four and I've always felt there was someone missing, not until I fell pregnant this time did I feel complete and yet I still had that sickening uncertainty of falling pregnant again and changing the family dynamics.
I found going from 0 children to 1 very difficult, when I became pg with DS2 I worried how I would cope and how the 2 brothers would bond and regard each other. I had to seriously consider number 3, would I be ok with another boy? When I decided I would be and fell pg again I worried about how it would change the relationship my 2 boys had with each other. What about middle child syndrome? My boys got on so well together, what if I was upsetting that balance needlessly? I'm having those exact same thoughts this pregnancy too.
But I knew deep down there were four children supposed to be seated around my dinner table and I too want them to have each other, to have the support and love of a close, large family in a way I never did. I hope they will always love and support each other.
As for university, well I worked my way through it and I see nothing wrong with my children doing the same. I expect them all to go and although we will give what we can there isn't the expectation over here that parents will pay for everything.