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so confused :(

Posts: 335

Joined 21-Jun-11

Top Poster
23-Apr-12 12:23 pm
Hi, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I too am expecting DS3 in a month! Actually less.. yikes. I really thought this was a girl. I swayed, I had totally diff symptoms. I was convinced. At 16 weeks (not even) the sonographer told us that we were in fact having another boy. I was devastated. I kept trying to tell myself that all that mattered was that he was healthy.. but, really I was having such a hard time. She didn't give us the potty shot, and I never saw our other 2 boys (they were surprises) so I spent 5 weeks searching online how a girl can look like a boy in early ultrasounds. Well at 21 weeks I saw our boy in all his glory. And there is no doubt he is a boy. Even though part of me still fantasizes of a girl suddenly popping out in a few weeks or a surprise twin ;). This was supposed to be our last.. and very well may be.. My DH is terrified of 4, let alone what if it's 4 boys. It's gotten much easier to accept that this is a boy since my 21 week scan. I think I needed to confirm it again, as well as once I started feeling the baby move so much it's really helped me. I also have an extremely close relationship with my mom, and really want a daughter to have that same experience. I just want to experience raising both genders. But, I don't know how that would ever be doable. Our sons are young 4 and 2.5, we are feeling old (38) and we don't have that much money to raise so many kids. So I guess this is what it is,r ight? We have to move on and accept that these are things we can not control. Also, we have no idea what kind of adult relationships we may we have with our sons. It's easy to assume a monther/daughter relationship will be closer then a mother/son.. but really it's all up to the individuals you know? I know people with older boys and they said that they have long ago moved past their GD and feel good about their family as it is. I think that with time, you will feel better. These first few weeks/months of just finding out I found very hard. I imagine once the baby is no longer an abstract thing and is here, you will never be able to imagine your life without him. it's funny. The more I look around now too, the more families I see with just one gender rather then a mix. I know so many people expecting their 3rd boy or girl.. adn so many more with just 2 boys or 2 girls. Hang in there! You are not alone.. you just time to work through it. Oh, and the stranger comments are the worst.. I literally have people everyday say to me.. oh I hope that's your girl in there (in front of my kids) and I say no.... this is boy #3.... and they just kind of ignore it and say.. oh hopefully it's a girl.. huh? I mean I laugh about it.. but if I was where I was at when I first found out, I would have been so upset for the rest of the day/week. Who are these people??? I would never say that to someone.. crazy. Just hang in there!