I could have written you post a few years ago. I wanted a daughter for my first child and I had mild gd when I found out my first was a son. I got over it quickly, however, because I knew we would have at least one more child and I wanted one of each. I was told a few days before my gender u/s with my second son that I should not try to have anymore children because of all my complications. When I found out he was another boy I had horrible gd. I went on to have an even worse pregnancy, but thankfully my son was healthy when he was born. However, I was pressured into having my tubes tied after he was born because of the complications. My second son was absolutely grouchy, cranky, and horrible when he was born. He had reflux, colic, and what they thought was agorophobia (fear of people/places). I couldn't leave the house (literally) for 9 months because he would scream until his face was purple unless I took him back home. He's still my little troublemaker but I wouldn't trade him for a handful of girls now. I came to terms with the fact that he is the little person he is and nothing will change that. I finally realized I had to love my son for the person he was and go on with my life without a daughter, and I was able to overcome a lot of my gd with him that way but it took me over a year after he was born to get to that point.
Give yourself time to grieve. It's okay to grieve what you imagined and wanted badly that didn't happen! Try to be patient and gentle with yourself and hopefully your hubby will come around. Soon enough (I know it seems like an eternity from where you're at) you will come to love having 2 boys and love your second son like I did and do now.