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first baby and its a boy, wanted a girl

Posts: 2

Joined 10-Apr-12

10-Apr-12 2:28 pm
This is our first, and I found out yesterday it was a boy. I'm so emotional over this because I really wanted a girl. Its all girls in my family and so naturally I felt more comfortable with a girl. My sister has 2 girls and my other sister has 2 boys. I'm closer to my neices than nephews. I feel like I wont be good at any boy stuff. I'm a girly girl and pink and bows are more my comfort zone. Now I have to not only adjust to a new baby but having a boy in my life other than my dad and husband. I feel SO guilty and ashamed even having these feelings. But I cannot help it. I feel like I'll be a bad mom and won't know what to do with a boy. And to top my fears off I feel like he can already sense my emotions. In a way I feel less of a bond with him... Maybe its my hormones playing this up a notch. But either way I need some advice on what to do...

Posts: 76

Joined 31-Mar-11

10-Apr-12 3:04 pm

You are not alone. Lots of us feel/have felt the same way. My best advice is to let all those  negative feelings/thoughts/words come right on out. After you get it all out (which may take weeks/months), you can decide where to go from there.

You are not going to be a bad mom - bad moms don't worry about being bad moms - and you will figure out what to do with a boy. I did. He cannot sense your emotions - just keep taking care of your body - and you will most assuredly bond with him. I went through the same thing. Even thought about miscarriage, adoption, half wished for a car wreck so I could start over. And I am an AWESOME mom and my son loves me more than anyone or anything in the whole world. I am still not good at cars/trains/trucks and I sometimes don't even pretend I like them, but he doesn't care because I'm his mom and he knows he is much loved, from his head to his toes and every little boy part in between.  You're going to be okay.You really will be. Glad you are here and hope it is helpful.


Baby Bear Boy  2009 + Baby Bear Boy 2012 (Failed sway)

I never wanted boys - was hoping for Baby Bear Girl in 2012, but I'M TAKING WHAT I'VE GOT! Heartbroken

"If you want to hear G-d laugh, tell Him your plans." - Yiddish proverb


Posts: 170

Joined 11-Feb-08

10-Apr-12 3:08 pm


Please know that when you meet your baby boy things will get better.  My second was a little girl and I did not want a little girl.  I am such a good boy mom what did I know about girls.  Pink was pukey, video games, sports and rough and tumble was my speed.

31/2 years later I wonder what I was thinking.  Yes I am a boy mom but I am also MY girls mom.  She is special to me and to the world.  She is the little girl I never knew I wanted.  I will always be a boy mom.  Except for MY girls.

And when you meet your little man,  You will feel the same way.  He will be YOUR boy.  Your sweet son who you adore and cherish. 

Please dont feel bad for feeling dissapointed.  I was till I held my baby in my arms and I was never dissapointed again.

Baby Boy  98  Baby Girl  08  Baby Boy due 12

Posts: 2

Joined 10-Apr-12

11-Apr-12 8:53 am
Thank you both for your encouragement, but I am still feeling so awful. I go through sadness, guilt, happy, anger all in one day. I feel so depressed, like I'm mourning over something. I'm finding it extremely difficult to be excited anymore. Like a bubble has been popped. I even tried looking at boy clothes at Target and it was difficult. The girl things seemed so much better. And the boys were so boring. I made myself buy some boy stuff but honestly it wasn't exciting at all. I don't know if I'm experiencing postpardum? This is my first and I'm such a mess with emotion and thoughts... I hate how I'm feeling. I wish I could control my feelings but for whatever reason I can't. It's not that I never wanted a son, its just that I envisioned and wanted a daughter first...
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