Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

Is it worth it??

Posts: 13

Joined 24-Jan-11

10-Apr-12 12:06 am

 I have always dreamed of having a son.  As much as I don't want to say... as soon as I found out that DD was a girl I started searching for a definate way to get a boy.  DD is now 8 months and the most amazing little girl... however, I cannot stop thinking about trying to have a little boy.  The cost for IVF/PGD is very expensive!! I just wanted to know if you ladies felt that the whole process/cost is worth it?  

 

It scares me that I would be spending  $20,000+ to possibly get pregnant when I have a 50% shot TTC naturally.  

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
 

Posts: 168

Joined 15-Sep-11

10-Apr-12 11:29 pm
It was worth it to me..I had always dreamed of having a little girl and as soon as I found out my 1st of twins were boys I decided that next time I was getting my girl...long story short,I did ivf/pgd and gave birth to boy/girl twins..i wouldn't trade my boy for anything but I was told that they transferrred 2 female embryos..clearly not! All ended well though..I have 3 amazing little boys and a sweet baby girl..I wouldn't change a thing and yep worth every penny..

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Boy twins 2009

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Girl twins 2011

mommy of 3 sweet boys & 1 little princess

Posts: 259

Joined 6-Jan-09

11-Apr-12 2:04 pm

 I got three for the price of one and haven't regretted the decision once.  It was absolutely worth it.  We are still "paying off" the girls but that's okay with me.  I'd rather eat out less and have my daughters sitting at the dinner table.  It is a LOT of money and it's a gamble.  My story had a happy ending but I can't even imagine having this monthly bill without a daughter to smile at while I write the check.     

Baby BoyBaby BoyBaby Boy...and Precious Triplet Baby GirlBaby GirlBaby Girl's.



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Joined 28-Mar-07

Top Poster
11-Apr-12 5:24 pm
I guess it's a hard question to ask, for all of those people who have shelled out ridiculous amounts of $$ and got nothing, it probably was a big waste of time and money........but I was in the mindset that if it didn't work at least I could move forward in life knowing I did absolutely EVERYTHING possible to get my son and could not regret that.  You have to have a limit and a realistic goal.  If you go into with the thought that 1 cycle is all you'll need then you could be very disappointed, most people take more than 1 cycle with an average of 3.   And yes, I definitely went through the thought process of "why would I want to spend all that money when I can get pregnant naturally for FREE" but I also realised that I had 3 kids which was always the plan and number 4 was only to have a boy.  So how many more kids did we want to have before we got our boy, and how expensive is raising extra children in the long run anyway.......much much more than the cost of IVF/PGD.  For us, it was our last option, we already had 3 kids and 4 was the absolute limit.  It did pay off for us, and I look at him every single day and think how wonderful he is and how lucky we are to have him, my daughters love him so much and also love having a lil bro.  I guess you need to think about if you are willing to ttc naturally at least 1 more time to see if it happens naturally and then make a decision.  If 2 kids is the limit then go for it, if you are willing to have 3 or 4, then I'd say wait until you are at the point of saying 1 more and that's it and then try it.

Posts: 720

Joined 1-Apr-09

Top Poster
11-Apr-12 7:21 pm

twin_mama_times_two:
It was worth it to me..I had always dreamed of having a little girl and as soon as I found out my 1st of twins were boys I decided that next time I was getting my girl...long story short,I did ivf/pgd and gave birth to boy/girl twins..i wouldn't trade my boy for anything but I was told that they transferrred 2 female embryos..clearly not! All ended well though..I have 3 amazing little boys and a sweet baby girl..I wouldn't change a thing and yep worth every penny..
 

What? I thought PGD was 100% sure! At that price, we would expect it to be! Ugh, now I'm really not sure it's worth it...

If you go into with the thought that 1 cycle is all you'll need then you could be very disappointed, most people take more than 1 cycle with an average of 3.  

And here I was thnking one cycle of HT would be my absolute max  - if I wasn't a OHW then I'd let it go...

Posts: 2,528

Joined 24-Apr-09

Top Poster
11-Apr-12 7:34 pm

Photo-Girl:

What? I thought PGD was 100% sure! At that price, we would expect it to be! Ugh, now I'm really not sure it's worth it...

 

I think most clinics will quote PGD is ~99%, the 1% or so is margin due to human error.

So yes, it happens, but is rare.

Maybe twin mama can comment... I'm not sure her clinic/doctor ever answered her inquiries into what happened.  

GZ

Baby Boy 2005
MS/IVF/PGD Baby Girl Baby Girl OHW Mar 2010 - Thank you IG, Dr. P, Lori, HRC and MS! 
Age 31 at cycle time, with elevated FSH (12.5)
More info: visit my detailed HT blog and/or see my cycle info

Posts: 168

Joined 15-Sep-11

12-Apr-12 12:43 am
I don't think ht opposites are common at all by any means and what happened to me is rare..my clinic(Abington reproductive) hasn't offered me any better of an explanation than "our database says that we transferred 2 females" and my real live data (my son who is now asleep in his swing) proves otherwise. I did leave them a message threatening legal action if they don't own their mistake but so far no one has called back and I'm advising anyone and everyone to not use them for pgd because clearly their system is flawed somewhere..I still got my girl but my thoughts are always what if I had only gotten pregnant with a singleton? And I need to also say that Abington will not openly do gender selection..they need a reason per se,my dr found a small one in that one of my older twins was born with a minor birth defect (laryngomalacia) that happens to be more common in boys and while there is no specific test for it,it gave him the justification he needed to do a gender selection for me.I don't think my experience is common and I still think pgd is worth it but I am the 1 percent so it does really happen..

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Boy twins 2009

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Girl twins 2011

mommy of 3 sweet boys & 1 little princess

Posts: 168

Joined 15-Sep-11

12-Apr-12 12:51 am
I just wanted to add that when l say they need to own their mistake,i am not saying my son is a mistake..I believe quite the contrary-that he is an amazing little boy,who despite tremendous odds,still ended up being here..I mean that the need to take responsibility for making that mistake and acknowledge that I paid them to do a job that they did not do and that has nothing to do with how much I love my son(I wouldn't trade him for any girl!) but I feel they owe me something..unfortunately because there is that 1 percent error I doubt I will ever see a penny..

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Boy twins 2009

Baby Bear Boy/Baby Bear Girl twins 2011

mommy of 3 sweet boys & 1 little princess

Posts: 228

Joined 29-Dec-09

12-Apr-12 3:57 am
In my case, I'm one who has done it twice with no baby yet. Yes, we spent thousands and are trying NOT to let that get to us.

I strongly recommend before you try, DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!! Twin_mama never should have had to go through what she went through, nor do I feel I should have this last cycle.

Know your body and understand your test results before you commit to anything. I can't stress that enough!!! I've been doing more and more research myself these past few months and I've completely changed everything!! Yes, I will be shelling out $$$ again later this year, but this time I won't be going in blind or neglected.

Ultimately, ask yourself, is the prize worth the risk? I think so, my life is set on the two boys I will have someday!!!

12-5-09: IVF/PGD - Transferred Baby BoyBaby Boy - BFP 9dp5dt
1st beta:  9dp5dt = 86
2nd beta: 12dp5dt = 306
u/s : 1-04-10 Baby Boy
M/C at 12 weeks.Heartbroken

Transferred Baby BoyBaby Boy 1-20-12 BFP 4dp5dt! (could've been 3 if I'd used a FRER) 1st beta: 9dp5dt = 199! 2nd beta: 12dp5dt = 635 3rd beta: 17dp5dt = 2790 2 blighted ovums at 5W5D ~ Missed Miscarriage at 12 weeks. NOT GIVING UP! Changing ME!!!

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Joined 9-Jul-08

Top Poster
12-Apr-12 9:52 am

tinksmagic:
I've been doing more and more research myself these past few months and I've completely changed everything!! Yes, I will be shelling out $$$ again later this year, but this time I won't be going in blind or neglected.

 

Tinks, can you share what you're changing (just so that those of us considering HT will know)? Happy

 

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

formerly Saggyrl11

Posts: 1,896

Joined 9-Jul-08

Top Poster
12-Apr-12 9:53 am

Dreams4me:

 I got three for the price of one

 

Ahhhh I hope and pray that is me, I'd LOVE twin or triplet girls!! Love Ya!

Did you put back 3 embryos or did 1 spilt?

Sorry if I'm hijacking!

 

Baby Bear Boy '06 Baby Bear Boy '09 Baby Bear Boy '11

I'm in no way "disappointed" that I have sons, I just want the chance to raise a daughter as well. Happy Wink

Want to try for a Baby Bear Girl early next year! Pray

formerly Saggyrl11

Posts: 720

Joined 1-Apr-09

Top Poster
12-Apr-12 11:08 am

Thanks for the feedback gals.

When you say "do your research" though, what research do you mean exactly? I'm just really new to even entertaining the thought of HT. Happy Wink

Posts: 495

Joined 28-Nov-10

Top Poster
12-Apr-12 12:39 pm

I second the "do your research" comment.

When I started this process (3 yrs ago!!!) I thought since I had no trouble getting pregnant naturally that hi-tech would be a breeze!  My  first MS IUI I was informed less than 10% chance of it working.... "yes, for those other women" I thought. Just put some sperm in me near O time and I'll get a baby. 

Not so fast! 4 failed MS IUI later...now doing IVF/PGD. I am amazed how long and diffucult this entire journey has been. Thousands spent (wasted??) and thousands more on the line.

The only good part of the Microsort is that once burned. twice shy. So I double down on the research of my IVF/PGD clinics. VISITED the clinic before hand. Spoke to former patients and narrowed down my list. This took several weeks but so far I'm happy with my choice. 

My number one piece of advice: Don't be so quick to believe all of the glowing reviews about a doctor or clinic on the internet.  There really is no way to know if these are even real patients or just dummies set up by unscrupluous places. I do put some stock in bad reviews on the internet b/c no clinic ever would put up a fake bad review. But all the ones that sound too good to be true I take with a grain of salt.

Baby Bear Boy - 04

Baby Bear Boy - 07

Pray for a Baby Girl to complete our family!

Numerous MS IUI failures.

IVF/PGD fail. Not a single normal girl out of 10 embryos Sad

IVF/PGD#2 - PUPO with a SET normal girl!!!
Beta #1: 78
Beta #2: 238
My angel in heaven Baby Girl.....where to now??? Hearts

IVF/PGD#3 - BFP!!!! More low betas, miscarry 8 weeks

Dutch Girl Sway BFP!! Identical Twins... no heartbeat @ 10 weeks :(

Posts: 720

Joined 1-Apr-09

Top Poster
12-Apr-12 1:27 pm

JackiesHope:
I had no trouble getting pregnant naturally that hi-tech would be a breeze!  My  first MS IUI I was informed less than 10% chance of it working.... "yes, for those other women" I thought. Just put some sperm in me near O time and I'll get a baby. 

Oh wow, that's exactly what I'm thinking too! Maybe I should be more realistic...

May I ask what clinic you finally decided on after all your research (for PGD/IVF)?

 

Posts: 259

Joined 6-Jan-09

12-Apr-12 5:24 pm

Havebluwantp1nktoo...

We transferred 2 embryos and 1 split (giving us three girls).  For us, this was a one time shot.  We probably could have scrapped together the cash for a FET (we froze one) but that would have been tight.  We consider ourselves very, very lucky to have come out of this experience with three healthy girls.  Raising multiples is amazing!

Baby BoyBaby BoyBaby Boy...and Precious Triplet Baby GirlBaby GirlBaby Girl's.



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