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this might help more of you!

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Joined 17-Jan-11

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24-Mar-12 1:41 pm
Had a conversation with my mom today and she said something that actually made sense to me. I talked to her about how much I want a daughter and she knows it. she however is like so many people and said try to look at what you got instead of what you don't have "two wonderful gorgeous healthy little boys." but she also said that she actually thought that for me it might have been a good thing that I didn't get a girl. why? because with or from a girl I would have certain expectations. I mean you want a daughter for certain reasons right? well she said "what if you did get a girl and she wouldn't meet with your expectations? I think that would be really hard for/on you" and I really think that made a lot of sense! And I think it's true. what if this girl doesn't turn out to be the girl I have dreamed of? maybe that could be even harder then having two sons and no girl. it has opened my eyes for now! but I'm not saying I never want a girl anymore though!
Proud mommy of 2 wonderful little boys! would love to add a girl to our family in the future. probably with girl-diet.
 

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Joined 29-Oct-08

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24-Mar-12 11:59 pm
Very true.  There are some little girls I know that I just adore and would love to scoop them up and take them home with me.  Then there are others that I would never wish upon my worst enemy!!  Kids really are individuals and you don't always get what you think you're going to.  I also have come to realize recently that I think it really could have been detrimental to my relationship with my boys if this last baby had been a girl.  I just think that even if I were trying not to favor a girl, I would treat her differently, because she's a girl, and would be the only one.  And I could see alot of jealousy and resentment stemming from that from my other children.  The youngest usually ends up being a bit spoiled anyway, so the youngest and the only girl could really end up in that category.  There really is no use in thinking about what might have been.   We only get one life, so why waste it wishing that things could be different.  Thanks for that idea.

Baby Boy01 Baby Boy03 Baby Boy05 Baby Boy09 Final Boy 2012

Posts: 20

Joined 10-Mar-12

26-Mar-12 12:28 pm
That did actually help me so thanks :) It made me realize that my idea of a son could just be a fantasy and he may not be the sweet mamma's boy I want. And if he turned out to be more of a daddy's boy I would be devastated! Poor thing isn't real yet and he already has so much pressure lol!

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Joined 17-Jan-11

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26-Mar-12 12:48 pm
glad it helped you hun!
Proud mommy of 2 wonderful little boys! would love to add a girl to our family in the future. probably with girl-diet.

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Joined 3-Oct-07

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26-Mar-12 12:52 pm
My brother and Mom have said the exact same thing to me.... it's still hard but it really does make me think. It's a very good way of looking at things. I am so so so grateful and I feel so blessed to have my two boys.... I can't imagine my life without them and I wouldn't trade either of them for 10 girls!

Posts: 38

Joined 16-Mar-12

27-Mar-12 12:19 pm

Girls reeeeeeeeeeeally are not always what they are cracked up to be....my mother and I have an AWFUL relationship (probably why I do NOT want girl children), and my DD can really be beyond a handful......

 Baby Girl- 2002

Praying for Baby Bear Boy 9/2012

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Joined 20-Jan-12

30-Mar-12 8:19 pm
Tammie78 - Could you please tell me what it feels like to have sons ???? :)) there has been no BOY in my family for the last 30 years !!!

Baby Girl 2008    Baby Girl 2010 Expecting Baby Girl in Nov 2013

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Joined 30-Mar-12

30-Mar-12 9:58 pm

 I have thought of that many times. If I did have a girl and she ended up hating pink and refusing to take ballet lessons, I would be sad. I never really had any expectations of my boys like that. If they want to play sports or are computer nerds, whatever. As long as they grow to be respectful, caring gentlemen. I was a little bummed when they chose red and blue over green and orange. Ha. The whole dream with having a daughter to dance ballet like I did, wear pink glittery frills and pick out fabulous prom dresses before getting our hair and nails done, may not happen anyway. Maybe she'll be a tomboy and reject all that and just want to play soccer, hate nail polish and want short hair. (and actually my ODS loves pink, too)

 I have 3 older brothers. My parents planned to have 4 kids or a girl, whichever came first. I was obviously "longed for". After my teen years my mom told me that raising my 3 brothers combined was easier than raising me. 

 Baby Boy02/2008 Baby Boy11/2009 Baby Boy10/2012


Counting my blessings:-)

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Joined 15-Dec-09

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31-Mar-12 8:31 am

Great Post!!! I have been thankful for what I have since I was pg with ds3Pray.  I agree that a mom may have different expectations for their dd than they do for their ds.  I just want my ds's to be happy, healthy and well rounded. My dh on the other hand, has sports dreams for them.  I enjoy watching them play sports but he is really into it and is teaching them, practicing with them and expects them to do well (which they do) on their team.  They love it and all have that bond together, I just want them to have fun and cheer them onHappy  LOL

I think if I had a dd I would unintentionally have differenct expectations for her than I do my ds's. I guess I would just expect her to love the things I love and she probably wouldntHappy ROFL I agree that the "daughter vision" that moms with only ds's have may be unrealistic.

 

Baby Boy(2/2005)Baby Boy(5/2008)Baby Boy(5/2011) (Dr pressured me into tubal during csectSad Flower)

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Joined 17-Jan-11

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31-Mar-12 9:09 am
exactly! with boys I didn't have any expectations. none. Sure would be nice if they would end up with a girlfriend instead of a male friend, but hey even that wouldn't bother me so much. only thing is that it would be so much more difficult for them to have children and for me to have grandchilden hehe. but other then that no I don't mind. don't care what they wanna do from a sport or hobby. I wouldn't allow everthing though. It really has kept me thinking about what if this girl really isn't what I had hoped for? I mean I would love to dress her nice and do her hair and so on, but I myself hated that when I was young! I also hated to go shopping. something I now would love to do with a daughter. but my mom said to me, hey why wouldn't your sons want to to that with you? her sons (my brothers) loved it. I now really really wonder if I really want a 3th/a daughter. I'm actually very happy with what I got. what it is to have boys? it is wonderful. it's kind of cool I guess. well I just love them so much, but I think all of us love are children regardless of gender. It's so beautiful to see the bond between my two sons. they are only 17 months apart, so close in age. they and we form a wonderful team which also makes me wonder, should we add something about that or is it good the way it is?
Proud mommy of 2 wonderful little boys! would love to add a girl to our family in the future. probably with girl-diet.

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Joined 15-Feb-12

1-Apr-12 5:26 am
Hello,all of what you have said makes perfect sense! You are describing broken expectations,but we all idealise our dreams,and motherhood itself was just an imagined place to be before we actually became mothers.I believe our children become our dreams when they are born,boy or girl.My boys and my daughter are certainly not perfect but they are everything I could want whether I'm off to gymnastics of football! Also my little diva was the hardest toddler I've had!
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