Ok, I'm in the minority here, but I say no - unless the depression leads to not taking care of onesself or if a person is far enough along for baby to hear outside sounds and they are yelling at their belly. I would be interested in seeing the studies others referenced. How many of those children were mistreated or not bonded with after birth? As for the adoptees who didn't know, I bet they did know in their core. We have many adopted children in our family and they all "knew" they were different.
And besides, if our thoughts/feelings determined the outcomes of our pregnancies and the eventual health of our children (and I'm not talking about thoughts/feelings that remain unresolved and/or are handled unhealthfully after birth), then many of the children represented in this forum would be psychologically messed up and unhealthy - and all the unwanted children in the world would die before birth.
I just don't understand why it is it
that someone can think thoughts/feelings can affect a baby in utero - but
somehow, thoughts/feelings obviously have NO effect on
what is in there in the first place. I wouldn't have a boy if my thoughts were so powerful - my womb would only have accepted X-bearing sperm. So, I just don't get it. I don't think we get to have it both ways.
Even if a person is religious/spiritual and believes God/Higher Power has something to do with the gender one is given, then why is that power so fleeting in that a person can take it back when it comes to the health of their baby?
I just think we'd
all realize by now that what we thought/felt has so little to do with
physical reality in this matter - or else we'd all have our dream
families. Personally, I beat myself up over enough stuff, and I refuse to add THIS to to the list.
I feel very passionately about this - obviously. It makes me so sad to read posts like newbaby's. Newbaby, you did NOT cause the death of any of your babies. Nothing anyone can say will EVER make me believe that. EVER. You are a loving, caring woman who loves each of your children - and that is obvious to any and all who read your posts. It makes me so, so sad to think you spend one minute blaming yourself for any of the heartache that has come your way. You are a beautiful soul - beautiful.
2009 + 2012 (Failed sway)
I never wanted boys - was hoping for in 2012, but I'M TAKING WHAT I'VE GOT!
"If you want to hear G-d laugh, tell Him your plans." - Yiddish proverb