but I find that the moms of moms are really the ones involved given the opportunity. What I mean is, how often do you meet the father's mother taking care of/spending a lot of time with her son's kids?
This is just not true. I know plenty of paternal grandmothers who are very involved in their grandchildrens lives. My own MIL is a wonderful women and she is extrememly close to my kids. I think sometimes we are so worried about this stereotype that it is all we can see. My mil also has a daughter and she has decided to not have kids, so even if you get the girl you always wanted there is no guarantee that she will give you grandchildren. Honestly, i think the key to being an involved grandparent to a son or daughers kids is to be non-intrusive, non-judgemental and very helpful (just like my own mil).
As for the jealousy. It sucks, I hate being jealous. I have three boys and I am very happy with my family but sometimes when I hear someone getting a girl after a boy, I get so jealous I can't see straight. I try to think of how happy I am with my own family and all of the great things happening with my life but dam sometimes the green eyed monster get the better of me. I have no answers just understanding. Hugs