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Back after a LONG time ***Update, Beta #3 on page 2***

Posts: 409

Joined 15-Aug-09

Top Poster
2-Apr-12 11:20 am

Sorry for the delayed response! I'm 37 and cycled at George Washington fertility in DC.

 I feel mixed about giving you hope. This was a long, expensive route. We are lucky to be in a financial position where we could mostly pay as we went (since it went over 2 years) but we definitely made compromises to pull it off. We think it was worth it, and had resigned ourselves to having spent it with nothing to show for it, but it was a lot.

The emotional cost was worse though. Even now it's incredibly hard. I have experienced almost no joy or happiness as a result of this BFP; just a never-ending dread of something else going wrong (since so much has over these 2 years).

I almost wish this hadn't been an option for us. I really was, and AM, happy with the family I had. My boys are incredible. And if my only choice was to live with the family I had and get over it, I would have been okay. I just feel incredibly torn about the choices I've made and the time and energy I've put into this process. It has been hard on my husband, and certainly hard on me.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to discourage you. Everyone has to go through their own journey and there's no way to anticipate what you'll feel at the end of it. I didn't think that what I'd feel right now is just DREAD and fear, and a slight wish that we'd just gotten a BFN and been done with this. I know in the end, if we get a baby to take home, I will be glad we did this. But the BFP has been harder for me than the BFNs ever were, and I could never have anticipated that.

Okay, I'm rambling. I'm sorry. I just can't believe this road. Please let me know if you have any other questions or if I can help at all. I appreciate all of you!


Sarah Mom to two perfect, adorable, amazing boys! Starting IVF/PGD for a little girl on 5/26/2010 IVF 1: right ovary inaccessible, no transfer (no normal females out of 4 embies) IVF2: cancelled: severe allergic reaction to Lupron IVF3: no normal females out of 5 embies IVF4: 7 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized - frozen to batch PGD with last cycle IVF5: 7 eggs retrieved, 1 fertilized. Fresh + frozen to PGD = TWO HEALTHY FEMALES! Transfer 3/11, BFN IVF6: 6 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized = ONE healthy female! BFN IVF7: 1 egg retrieved! :-(, fertilized - frozen to batch PGD with *last* cycle IVF8: 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 grew, batched with frozen = ONE healthy female! Transfer 3/4/12 - BFP!!! Miscarriage at 11 weeks. Looks like we're a two-boy family forever!