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I'm scared to sway.....Anyone else feel this way?

Posts: 21

Joined 20-Jul-10

27-Feb-12 1:08 pm
So my son is 14 months and we are ready to try for another. I really wanted a girl and when I found out I was having a boy I was disappointed but I also already knew he was a boy I just had this feeling. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I found this site when I felt disappointed about the gender. Ever since then I have been researching on supplements, diet, timing, etc. There is sooooooooooo much! I am going to change my diet and take supplements and have my husband get on board as much as I can. We are also going to try 3 day cut off......but I'm just freaking out!!! I have been reading so much info on swaying that it's just making me scared to try. I've heard you must change your diet for at least 6 weeks then I have read 6 months. Then your husband must be on the diet too....then read he doesn't. I dont know I just feel so overwhelmed. I almost feel like should I just drop all of this and just try to get pregnant? As one only has a 30% chance every cycle as it is of even getting pg? Should I sway as much as possible and hope for the best? I just know at that ultrasound if they tell me it's a boy I will be crushed. My diet when I had my boy was a lot like the boy diet so I guess that's one thing I'm holding on to that may make a difference. I'm sorry to vent I just don't know what to do. There is just so much....I've been testing my ph I'm having trouble with that I even bought the digital ph tester and still having trouble. My husband and I have an agreement that if next is a boy we can try again but I have Crohns disease and I'm scared something will happen that may not le that happen.....idunno. I am constantly thinking about how much I want a girl and what I have to do. It just seems so complicated and I'm afraid to fail.....does anyone else feel this way?

Posts: 383

Joined 20-Aug-11

Top Poster
27-Feb-12 2:15 pm

I can relate!  The swaying to me is overwhelming and sometimes I feel as if I'm studying for a college exam.  There's so much information to soak up and there's absolutely no guarantee it'll even work.  I also have Crohn's Disease, so I'm not willing to sacrifice my health for an even unhealthier diet. I don't mind making small changes (ie no red meat, no salt intake, increase dairy, etc.)

For me personally, when the time comes I am going to sway to the best of *my* abilities and hope for the best. If it doesn't work then I'm willing to accept the outcome. I spend night and day trying to prepare myself for "the perfect sway" to the point of where it consumes a lot of time. I can't even imagine how much of a mess I'm going to be when the time comes. 

Baby BoyBaby BoyBaby Boy and and a a baby Baby Bear Boy due May 30th, 2013!

Posts: 38

Joined 4-Feb-12

27-Feb-12 4:10 pm
I can really relate...we have two boys, 3yrs and 15months. They are gorgeous but I would so love a girl. Seems like so much time I have spent researching swaying the past 18 mths. I feel like I need to do something to feel like we tried to sway things but know that it is possibly building up that element of hope. I just can't help but worry that I'll hear boy whatever I do - so hard to remain hopeful that a girl might ever be possible. Is this my cynical side or realistic (probably more like!)?! Whatever happens am petrified of getting pregnant as probably my last 'chance'!

Baby Bear Boy 2008

Baby Bear Boy 2010

# 3 due April 2013

Posts: 272

Joined 20-May-11

27-Feb-12 4:13 pm

 I think the best thing is to take on elements of the sway factors that you feel comfortable with. Innitially some of the ideas blew me away and then as I started my sway I felt more comfortable taking on all the ideas. I also had no idea where to start. I was reading everything and I was like "oh my, what to do first!"

I can not speak from experience yet, still waiting for the BFP, However, I find comfort in knowing that I have tried the best I can to sway for a boy and if I am lucky enough to get another girl then she is meant to be! (especially if she can make it through all the BSF's and the  bSD's!!)

GL and this website is really amazing so if you have any questions, always free to post!


Baby Girl '08 Baby Girl '10 and my beautiful baby Baby Boy is here '13!! Yippee

Posts: 86

Joined 31-Dec-11

28-Feb-12 5:33 am

Here is an answer you probably don't want to hear, but PLEASE make sure you want another baby, NOT just your DG. This is easy to say, I know. When people said that to me last summer (and yes, both my mum and my DH said this to me) I said 'yes, ofcourse, I would love either a boy or a girl! But in my head I was thinking, 'well you got it all wrong, this just has to be my girl'. Anyway, since the birth of DS2 I have been spending so much time on the internett doing research on swaying (for years almost, mostly because DH didn't want a third child). So when he finally gave in before last summer I had my plan ready and startet dieting for three months, hard core dieting 6 weeks, tracking my cycle, PH, seriously I was obsessed! When we finally started BD-ing I was so ready! Hot showers, DH on a diet, positions etc. We ended opp with a 4 days cut off. I got pregnant and was convinced I was pg with a girl. Well you can probably guess the rest of the story, she turned out to be a he. So first I have been obsessing about getting my DD and researching on swaying for about 3 years, than obsessing for another 6 mnth getting ready, than another 4 months during my pg going through my sway in my head obsessed wondering if I'm pg with a DD and now I'm sort of obsessed, just working hard in my head accepting the fact that I'm having another DS.Yes, what a waist! And 80% out there get their DG without doing anything! Not swaying, not stressing, just getting pg!

My point is, again, make sure you want another baby. I'm really starting to accept I'm having DS3 and start looking forward meeting him, accepting my dream never came true (and never will because this is our last). And I know when I hold him, I know it will feel right, that there must be a reason he survived through all the swaying and cut off, and I know I will never regret having him, but it has been a long hard prosess..

Baby Bear Boy '02 Baby Bear Boy '05 Baby Bear Boy expecting July '12 (our failed hardcore sway)


Posts: 6,384

Joined 26-Dec-10

Top Poster
28-Feb-12 11:55 am

heres the thing about swaying. everyone who ended up getting their desired gender will tell you its all thanks to swaying. the rest of us who swayed just as hard will tell you that you have a 50/50 chance and its a bunch of bologna. if you sway and fail it makes your disappointment so much worse and this site is not good for that. everywhere you look you see ladies posting half way successful sways while you swayed your rear off for months and still failed. it hurts.

  look at my siggy. 10 years of failed sways. 10 years, 7 daughters. and 3 miscarriages. do you want 7 boys? because this place is full of ladies with 5 or 6 boys still hoping for a girl. i highly recommend ht or adoption if you want a girl so much it hurts. sometimes a sway will work and sometimes it won't. good luck.

 but irish twins. ( babies born less then 2 years apart) are usually always the same gender i read a 75% chance. it was for me my last 3 were irish twins finally this one is a boy. i would wait until baby is at least 2 and start a good sway but only if i would be content with a baby brother for him.

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken and another little born sept 4th!!

Posts: 335

Joined 21-Jun-11

Top Poster
28-Feb-12 12:51 pm
I have to agree with SM and NB.. we too swayed, and are having DS3. The swaying made me truly believe we were having a girl.. I had all the symptoms of a girl etc.. I was shocked.. shocked to find out that it is another boy.. and I really do think the swaying was the biggest factor in me just believing, well this is a girl of course.. you know? So, I'm not sure how successful swaying actually is. My ph was ideal for a girl.. and before that it wasn't.. so the diet, the nutrasweet etc all worked to lower my ph.. but I still am having a boy. So just be careful, you could really set yourself up for disappointment way worse then if you just go into it to have another child and are willing to have either gender. GL!

Posts: 21

Joined 20-Jul-10

28-Feb-12 12:54 pm
Thanks everyone......I think I just need to stop over thinking it. For the poster that said makes sure I want another baby I absolutely do with all of my heart. If it's a boy yes there will be disappointment but I will love and cherish him and be the mom I need to be and he needs me to be. I guess I will just take supplements change the diet and hope for the best. Healthy babies are what I know I should hope for especially having Crohns disease and I do. I feel so selfish wanting a girl so bad when some people go through such painful losses or such trouble conceiving. This website really works the info the support I'm glad I found it but I think I have the basic knowledge on how to sway and I will give it my best shot and hope for the best. If I have another boy I know Grahm will have a little brother and it will be great for him. I just need to keep telling myself all of this ;). Thanks ladies :)

Posts: 21

Joined 20-Jul-10

28-Feb-12 12:58 pm

Posts: 27

Joined 16-Feb-12

28-Feb-12 1:08 pm

We have two sons and although we originally agreed on two kids only I think we're going to try for a third one - really hoping for a girl. But I'm terrified of getting pregnant. This for sure is our last shot and I'm afraid we'll have another son. GD with DS2 wasn't that bad after he was born - during pregnancy I was sad though. But back then I didn't go to gender disappointmet forums or put my time into this stuff. It's only a few months ago that I've started visiting these boards and learn about swaying etc. It's like I'm preparing myself to handle the feelings of disappointment since somehow I know that if I get pregnant we'll have another boy..


And what comes to swaying, girl sways seem so unhealthy to me. I really don't feel like stop eating fruits and vegetables, whole grain etc. Quitting exercising.. Also the whole idea of girl sway seems to be making getting pregnant as hard as possible with timings when no ovulation, making acid environment for the semen, minimizing sperm count etc. Seems like a miracle getting pregnant under those circumstances.. And I'm not sure does it make GD worse if you don't succeed EVEN THOUGH you swayed perfectly.


New baby: isn't term irish twins: kids born within one year. I mean at least in my country two years age difference is probably the most common one and people get so many perfect pairs. I'm just asking cause my DS2 is also 14 months old now and we're planning to ttc this spring and want the opposite sex.. 


Posts: 6,384

Joined 26-Dec-10

Top Poster
28-Feb-12 2:23 pm

nordic mum, sorry you are 100% correct. i have no idea why i wrote 2 years. but its still iffy between 1 and 2 years. it was for me anyway. we had dd4 in 09. 10 weeks later opps pregnancy. dd5 was born. 4 months later after a mega perfect boy sway twin girls although 1 twin didn'[t make it. this time i was 5 months later and fnally its a boy. i would say wait longer then i did just to be safe. good luck

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken and another little born sept 4th!!

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