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The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Posts: 37

Joined 25-Feb-11

26-Feb-12 2:22 pm

I am so disgusted right now.  I now know without a doubt that society can cause you to have GD or worsen your GD if you were already feeling it.  My very close friend just found out that she is expecting baby boy #2.  Her and I are extremely open with each other and talk about EVERYTHING with no judgement of each other.  Anyway, a few days ago I went to her ultrasound appointment with her to find out the sex of the baby.  I had asked her if she was hoping for a boy or a girl and she told me it really didn't matter at this point since her and her husband planned on having a very large family.  When the doctor said "Its a healthy boy!" her face lit up and she cried and said she couldn't believe that God saw fit to give her two healthy children.  Of course I cried right along with her.. being a typical woman and all.  Happy Wink

 

Now, skip to a few days later.  She is a total wreck about the fact that she is not carrying a little girl.  WHY?  She posted on facebook that she was having another boy and so many people literally posted their sympathies to her!  There were comments like:  "You'll get your girl one day.  Being a boy mom is hard but you get used to it.  Keep trying, you'll get your girl eventually.  Wow, betcha really wanted a girl so you wouldn't have to risk having 3 boys, huh?"

 

I could not believe what people were writing on there.  She was thrilled just a few days ago about her second child and now people have taken that from her with their thoughtless words.  What really gets me is the fact that she never expressed the desire to have a little girl.. people just assumed that she was crushed because this was another little boy.  

 Proud momma of 3 lovely boys and due with baby #4 sometime in July.  Baby Bear Boy Braden Ty, Baby Bear Boy Brody Parker, Baby Bear Boy Briar Sage.    

 

Posts: 37

Joined 25-Feb-11

26-Feb-12 2:27 pm

 I should also add that out of the 20 or so comments under her post, only 4 or so were "Congrats" or "I'm so happy for you."  Sad

 Proud momma of 3 lovely boys and due with baby #4 sometime in July.  Baby Bear Boy Braden Ty, Baby Bear Boy Brody Parker, Baby Bear Boy Briar Sage.    

Posts: 383

Joined 20-Aug-11

Top Poster
26-Feb-12 3:02 pm

Ugh, awful!  I feel for her so badly and I SO agree that GD can be stemmed from people's ugly remarks.  When I found out I was expecting baby #2 and #3, I was told "Aw, that sucks" on both ocassions.  It really pisses me off that people can be so insensitive.

If I were you, I would have a hard time not chiming in the convo with something super snarky to put everyone in their place. :X 

Baby BoyBaby BoyBaby Boy and and a a baby Baby Bear Boy due May 30th, 2013!

Posts: 37

Joined 25-Feb-11

26-Feb-12 3:20 pm

 BellaVita, as soon as I cool down a little I plan on writing a reply to them.  I'm so disgusted right now that I'm afraid I might not be able to get my point across without becoming hostile.  Stick out tongue    

 Proud momma of 3 lovely boys and due with baby #4 sometime in July.  Baby Bear Boy Braden Ty, Baby Bear Boy Brody Parker, Baby Bear Boy Briar Sage.    

Angela

Posts: 1,374

Joined 20-Jul-11

Top Poster
26-Feb-12 3:32 pm
A) one reason why I'm no longer on Facebook b) that is disgusted the way ppl make "boys sound" and c) another reason why we r not telling ppl gender of baby #4 I'm sorry ur friend is having to deal with this

Baby Bear Boy  Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy  Baby Bear GirlBorn Aug 5, 2012 at 39 weeks 5 days


 




Posts: 720

Joined 1-Apr-09

Top Poster
26-Feb-12 3:35 pm

 Ugh, I knew some people could be bad, but this is really bad if most people are not even congratulating her. That's exactly why we're not receling gender until birth because 1) I'll have time to work on my GD in private in the meantime to get stronger and 2) when the baby is born, people tend to make fewer negative comments like that because they probably feel they're insulting the baby itself rather than its gender or the situation, so to speak.

Hugs to you and your friend. And I really hope you do chime in on Facebook to put people back in their place.

Posts: 27

Joined 13-Feb-12

26-Feb-12 8:00 pm

 I found out baby #2 is a boy and I am debating on whether or not to announce it on facebook because I know the same exact thing is going to happen and I am afraid of what I may say back. I already had some comments about having a second boy and I agree that alot of gd is fueled by other people. My sister in laws were hoping I would have a girl, and one of them said 'can I put bows in his hair' after I told them it was another boy..that really annoyed me. i'm sorry for your friend, people can be really sh*tty sometimes Sad

 Baby Boy 2010  Baby Boy 2012


Posts: 65

Joined 10-Mar-10

26-Feb-12 8:27 pm
That's so sad that people do that..after having 2 boys I had a friend put on fb the curse was broken and that she was having a girl as if our family having all boys is a curse! Like someone just said that's one reason I'm not on fb anymore

Military WifeLove Ya! 

 

Baby Boy Chaz 2002, Baby Boy Chase 2010

Therefore grid up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ..

Posts: 318

Joined 12-Jul-11

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26-Feb-12 11:46 pm

And that's why I am no longer on facebook. Some people like to take the shine off your happiness, especially if they are miserable themselves.

I feel bad for your friend. I hope she forgets about their stupid comments.

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Posts: 365

Joined 31-May-11

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27-Feb-12 12:23 am

Wow really?  Are these people really friends or are they just mere fb friends, I just can't believe the dumb comments.  It annoys me when people just assume that your friend would have GD, if only they knew that same gender siblings are awesome!  I hope your friend will realize that those people's opinions don't matter.  I would just continue posting happy statuses and pics so those miserable people will see how great your friend's life is with two wonderful boys! 

Have two Baby Girl!  Expecting baby girl #3 in April! 3 of a kind! :) She's here and I am over my GD!  Our family is complete. Hearts

Posts: 37

Joined 25-Feb-11

27-Feb-12 1:10 am

 Wincha123, It just kills me because she was so happy that day that she found out she was having another healthy baby.  It was inspirational to me to see a woman so happy over bringing a new life into the world, reguardless of gender.  My heart is absolutely broken for her right now.  On the way home from the ultrasound, she was already talking about all of the ideas she had for his nursery and talking about how cute it was going to be to dress her boys alike.  It was just such a perfect day.  I feel like nothing I can say or do will make her feel better.  I can't erase the thoughts that these careless people have put into her head.  I have been doing my best to reassure her that seeing her two boys together will melt her heart.  I don't know why I'm so angry about this.  I think its because NOT ONCE did she post on facebook that she was really desiring a girl.. people just assumed it and now are acting like her new little boy is like a consolation gift or something.  Maybe I'm looking too much into it and maybe the women who left those comments have suffered from GD and assume that everyone else who doesn't get the perfect pair suffers too.  

 Proud momma of 3 lovely boys and due with baby #4 sometime in July.  Baby Bear Boy Braden Ty, Baby Bear Boy Brody Parker, Baby Bear Boy Briar Sage.    

Posts: 720

Joined 1-Apr-09

Top Poster
27-Feb-12 9:48 am

Liv_J:
people just assumed it and now are acting like her new little boy is like a consolation gift or something.  Maybe I'm looking too much into it and maybe the women who left those comments have suffered from GD and assume that everyone else who doesn't get the perfect pair suffers too.  
 

I have GD, and yes I admit that this second boy sometimes feels like a consolation prize (altho I'm not proud to say it - I have to let out those negative emotions in order to overcome them).... BUT I would never make such insensitive comments to someone, NEVER! Not even if someone had two girls: I would never say something like "so are you gonna try for a boy now?". Some people think it's just making conversation, but they should realise that this is a sensitive topic for some and hold their nasty tongues. Because as is often said here, part of GD is definitely fueled by the outside world.

Lella

Posts: 68

Joined 23-Dec-08

27-Feb-12 6:15 pm

I am sorry that your friend is going through this! 

I think what you are saying about society causing GD is so true.  I was excited about having a third girl until the u/s tech was so disappointed for me.  She had 4 girls and was just glum and saying negative things.  I should have reported her, as her behavior was so unprofessional and really affected my DH and I.  Then, my mom was so sad and negative about a third girl and it sent me into a depression for about a month. 

Strangely, everyone's reaction was much more positive about DD4 and I found that the GD was so much less this time.  Interesting, how the reaction of other's can affect us so much, especially when we are so vulnerable during pregnancy. 

Baby Girl 2005  Baby Girl 2008  Baby Girl 2009 Baby Girl April 2012

Heartbroken Angel Baby 2005

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Joined 19-Mar-08

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27-Feb-12 8:20 pm

On Facebook, I always try to make up for the stupid things people say on ALL of my other friends' baby announcements.  Example:  Recently a friend found out she was having a 3rd girl...after already having one boy as well.  Doh!  If SHE can't get treated nicely, who can?!?  So many comments were like "Poor little boy, totally outnumbered."  "Guess you'll have to have another one to give Tommy a brother!"  "3 weddings?!?  Better start saving now!"  Really??  So I said something like "Boy or girl, what a lucky child to have so many loving siblings!"  People just LIKE to hurt others ~ that's my guess.  Hmm

Baby Boy ~ 9 Baby Boy ~ 5  Baby Girl ~ born Oct.30, 2012!!!

Posts: 1,993

Joined 19-Mar-08

Top Poster
27-Feb-12 8:20 pm

On Facebook, I always try to make up for the stupid things people say on ALL of my other friends' baby announcements.  Example:  Recently a friend found out she was having a 3rd girl...after already having one boy as well.  Doh!  If SHE can't get treated nicely, who can?!?  So many comments were like "Poor little boy, totally outnumbered."  "Guess you'll have to have another one to give Tommy a brother!"  "3 weddings?!?  Better start saving now!"  Really??  So I said something like "Boy or girl, what a lucky child to have so many loving siblings!"  People just LIKE to hurt others ~ that's my guess.  Hmm

Baby Boy ~ 9 Baby Boy ~ 5  Baby Girl ~ born Oct.30, 2012!!!

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