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How does having 5 kids work logistically?

Posts: 230

Joined 13-Jul-10

6-Dec-11 12:41 pm
So my limit has always been 4. But I am having ds2, so plus the 2 step kids that make 4. I can't seem to let go of the idea of maybe a 5th someday to get my DD. But my hang up from moving past 4, I guess, is the logistics of that many kids. What kind of car do you drive (is it even possible to fit three car seats and two preteens in a minivan)? Do you work and pay for daycare, or are you home with the kids full time? How many bedrooms and bathrooms do you have ( we currently have a 3 bedroom 1 bath house) . The largest family I've ever known had 4 kids, so 5 just seems like a whole other world.

Baby Boy step son 2002, Baby Girl step daughter 2003

Baby Boy son 2009

Baby Boy son 2012


 Absolutely adore my sons, but trying to come to terms with never having a daughter.
 

Angela

Posts: 1,374

Joined 20-Jul-11

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6-Dec-11 1:13 pm

 I dunno how 5 kids would work-- but I am about to find out how 4 kids will.  lol and I am courious as to what others say too- as I wonder this exact question - but when ppl have 6 + kids.. which some on here do.  

But we have a small 1200 sq foot house 4 bedrooms and 3 baths- we redid everything when I was PG with # 2 we added on 25 feet on to the house and remodelied everything.. - nothing big- we have a bungalow.  I work full time Mon - Friday 830 am - 5 pm with 3 kids.  I have a 12 yo he lives one week with is and one week with his dad- his bedroom is in basement.  All my kids have their own rooms, but when we have # 4 - in August we will have to pair our two lil boys together in bunk beds.. which they get a long well.  They will be 4 and 6 at that time.  

We drive a min van that seats 7 total.  a Town and Country Chrysler.  and we are comfortable.  If I do return to work after #4 - my youngest will be in Kindergarten by then as he will be almost 5 when I return to work - as in canada we have 1 year maternity leave off PAID - if you qualify and I do and we timed it so the year im off my youngest will be in preschool and my other two will be in grade 2 and grade 8.  so all three older boys will be inschool day time and me and baby will be at home.  

 

I think it all depends on lifestyle with ppl- and priorities.  Ppl with 4 + kids are not buying the designer everything and eatingout and the top of the top EVERYTHING there has to be sacrifice and Im sure a hand me down once in a while. At least this is my experience.  especially with a one income household.  I would love to be a stay at home mom - but it always depends on finances- and numbers.  Childrecrae is crazy expensive and high in demand where I live- a NB costs min $1000- $1200 per child - and then aged 18 months is about $900 and up - for a good quality daycare.  Our older two go to after school programs that are low cost or minimal - at times my boys can come to work with me as I have this option if no childcare.  But when we have # 4 - we will redo a lot of rescheduling and see what works best for everyone.  

Baby Bear Boy  Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy  Baby Bear GirlBorn Aug 5, 2012 at 39 weeks 5 days


 




Joy

Posts: 1,747

Joined 4-Nov-11

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6-Dec-11 1:22 pm
I have 3 daughters, a step daughter, and pregnant now with a surprise baby... Hopefully a boy.. I am a stay at home mommy and we have a minivan all our kids are in carseats right now and it seems to work fine.. we have a 3 bedroom 2 bath house but we are hoping to buy a bigger house soon :) all of our kids are 3 and under and somedays they are definitely a handful but its worth it :D Congrats on your baby
Mom to: (DsD)+ + (VR Baby)*13w 4d*+ (VR Baby 2) *chemical pregnancy*


A girl for me...please!!!

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Joined 13-Oct-08

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6-Dec-11 1:28 pm

5 kids works the same as 4!

The boys love there little brother so much, so nice to see!

 

Baby Boy(2002) Baby Boy(2005) Baby Boy(2007) Baby Boy(2009) Baby Boy(2010)

Due with a Baby Bear Girl July 2013

Angela

Posts: 1,374

Joined 20-Jul-11

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6-Dec-11 1:33 pm

 I heard that once you can do 3 you can do any. 

Baby Bear Boy  Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy  Baby Bear GirlBorn Aug 5, 2012 at 39 weeks 5 days


 




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Joined 8-Mar-09

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6-Dec-11 1:50 pm

Canadianttc#4:

 I heard that once you can do 3 you can do any. 

Agree

Most people with 3+ kids agree, that the hardest transition was from number 1 to 2. I find that most cars that seat 4 kids, will seat 5 as well. We will now have to get a new car if we want antoher.... ours is great for 2, ok with 3, impossible with 4 kids. But the cars we are looking at would seat 5 kids comfortably as well.

There is one thing that makes me hesitant about having another child and it definitely means that number 4 is my last: how will I divide my attention evenly between 4 children? My first has a substantial age gap which helps a bit as he is at school and afternoon activites Monday-Friday. I love having a small age gap between number 2 and 3 as while being stressful in the first year, afterwards you have all the benefits of doing activities with both of them together at the same time - reading books, doing jigsaws, preparing toddler food--- they will always be at the same "stage". I love that, it makes things a lot easier.

If your heart says you want a 5th and you are SURE that you would want to welcome a child of either gender, there is no reason you shouldnt go for it.

 

Posts: 230

Joined 13-Jul-10

6-Dec-11 2:59 pm
Well, still pregnant with #4..... So no "going for it" yet. Just trying to figure out if #5 is even a possibility to be concidering. Some big things would have to be resolved first, so if I want to try for #5 I need to have that in mind now. The biggest being that we would need to sell our house and find a bigger place. It's going to beyond tight as it is as a family of 6. And if I was to go for a #5 it would only be for a dd.... So I need to figure out how to pay for high tech.

Baby Boy step son 2002, Baby Girl step daughter 2003

Baby Boy son 2009

Baby Boy son 2012


 Absolutely adore my sons, but trying to come to terms with never having a daughter.

Jen

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Joined 26-Dec-10

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6-Dec-11 3:24 pm

i love it. we drive a minivan and i have 2 captains chairs in the middle. in one i have an infant car seat the other has a 5 point car seat. in the back i have a booster and the other 2 don't use a booster anymore. there is alot of "she's touching me!" going on but we upgraded and got a dvd player so that cuts down on fights during long car trips.

   the biggest problem is the house. i would love nothing more then to live in a million dollar house with 6 or 7 bedrooms but that won't happen. so im at pairing up girls and everyone shares a room. now we have a 5th who still sleeps in my room. so my next purchase will be a bigger house in a great neighborhood, with a wonderful school nearby that i can afford.

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken and another little on her way!

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Joined 8-Mar-09

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7-Dec-11 2:04 am

"She's touching me" -  I love it, boys just hit each other instead :)

SisterforTyler, yes, I think you should only ttc naturally if you want anothe rbaby regardless of sex, OR plan for HT. From what I heave heard, you can start planning and saving now.....and you must be prepared for twins as well (twin girls *sigh* what a dream). xx

 

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Joined 22-Sep-09

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9-Dec-11 5:44 pm
Two kids was the biggest adjustment for me.  #3 & #4 just joined right in without much difference.  Of course, when we had 3 we traded in our car for a Suburban (now gone in place of a minivan for the 3rd row leg room)  and bought a house, but we would have gotten the house anyway :)  I was super excited to add #5 to the group, but he wasn't meant to join us.  I have a friend with 9 kids and I wonder how she does it, but then I think about it and I know how... you just do it.  You manage and find ways to make it work.  I love, love, love my baby boys!  As much as I would love to have some pink in the family my boys are just angels and I wouldn't give any one of them up now.

Baby Boy 12/01 Baby Boy 06/03 Baby Boy 11/05 Baby Boy 01/09 & babyBaby Girl 9/12

Heartbroken Baby Boy 10-28-10

 


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Joined 17-Jun-11

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9-Dec-11 5:54 pm
Well for me I have a 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath. I have two kids per room and since my last one is a boy he will have his own room (smallest room in the house) as for a vehicle we have a jeep commander that has a third row. My two oldest has the third row and the rest has the second row. We just make it work so I'm pretty sure my 5th one will fit right in

Baby Bear Girl 9yrs Baby Bear Girl 7yrs Baby Bear Girl 5yrs Baby Bear Girl 4yrs Baby Bear Boy  March 2012

Baby B grew wings and is taking care of its brother Sad Flower

 

Posts: 517

Joined 1-Aug-08

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9-Dec-11 6:08 pm
I haven't read all the replies yet, but thought I'd add mine! I have five, expecting six. We were driving an eight passenger venture, but traded for a ford explorer, also eight passenger. Aside from the trunk space, I love the newer one much better! We have two car seats and two high back boosters right now, and room for the rfing infant when I need it. My friend has same size family (five going on six), except her two oldest are a few years older, so they are small adult size. She drives a suburban. Another friend, five going on six kids, all under 11 and the youngest being twins who are still rfing drives a dodge caravan, a newer one, and has enough room. She is sad to see it go, but needs a bigger one with another coming. She is getting a ford f150 12 passenger. That's the cars! My house is the smallest of the three of us, I live in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom bungalow. It is in now way large, but it works for us! Friend #1 lives in a four bedroom farm house, one bathroom as well, not all of her bedrooms are being used! Friend #2 lives in a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house. We are all comfortable in our homes, they work well for us!! Just for fun. I figure I will also add in that another friend of mine has ten kids, nine living at home still. She lives in a four bedroom house, two bathrooms. She doesn't drive with all kids at once, so they have more then one vehicle, but none that fits everyone. She was driving a 12 passenger express until a few years ago though. I also want to add that NONE of us are exceptionally rich, we are all pretty much middle class. We are all stay at home moms, so no we don't have day care. As far as my time being devided, my kids all get my time, even if it's not a set amount of one on one per day. They also all have each other too, and dad. I do give them all time, and none of them ever feel a lack of it. We may not have the money to do everything with the kids, like hockey or piano for all of them, but they each get to choose one activity at a time during the school year, and all do swimming in the summer. We get great group rates!! We don't go out for dinner often as a family, but we do go out with one or two kids here and there, and then they are also getting more along time. Now, none of us had the number we did due to gd, we wanting this number. Some of us have hope for either gender, but nothing more then hoping. No disappointment with the opposite gender. I once felt sad and wanted another girl, but turned it into refusing to have more until I realized it didn't matter what I had. That was a few kids ago, I got over my gd! I love my big family, but my job is to be a mom, that's it!! I wouldn't recommend trying to have this family and a full time job, but I also know people who've made it work! Hope that helps!

Baby Girl June 2000  Baby Boy January 2003  Baby Boy November 2004  Baby Boy May 2007 Baby Girl July 2009 Heartbroken June 2011 @ 10w

Baby Girl June 2012

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Joined 1-Aug-08

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9-Dec-11 6:10 pm
Oops! Also wanted to mention, I agree with pps, transition from 1 to 2 was the hardest! Three was "what's one more?" and after that there was no big transition!

Baby Girl June 2000  Baby Boy January 2003  Baby Boy November 2004  Baby Boy May 2007 Baby Girl July 2009 Heartbroken June 2011 @ 10w

Baby Girl June 2012

Posts: 47

Joined 9-Nov-09

9-Dec-11 8:47 pm

 I have 5 going on 6 and it just works.  We have a 5 bdrm 3 bath house, I drive a honda odyssey that has a removable middle seat in the middle row.  It's out right now, but will be back in once baby arrives.  I just started staying at home after #5 came before that I worked full time and we had a nanny come over, but only because it was cheaper than day care and less germy.  My 2 oldest are girls and they share the largest room in my house and have TONS of extra room.  My 3rd and 4th are boys and share a room, big enough for 2 twin beds and still room to play.  Baby girl has her own room for now and we use 1 as a spare room for guests.  Obviously if new baby is a girl that would work perfect for room sharing but the NUB looks like a boy.  DH has a normal 4 passenger vehicle that he drives to work, it has a carseat in it that the little ones fit in and he could take a big kid or 2 if they needed to go somewhere.  Otherwise we take my van.  It also has TONS of cargo space and the DVD for trips.  My big kids fight like cats and dogs in the back, but it's what we do and we do it for 10 hours at a time for holiday's and things.  I love my kids, they don't do a lot of sports because DH works 24 hour shifts (fireman) and I just can't cart everyone to 10 different after school things.  We do LOTS of family day trips and outdoor stuff with the kids though that we feel like will be memorable to them.  Hiking and biking, beach trips etc.  Everyone has a chore that gets done after dinner and that's because we all have to pitch in.  I also have a chore chart that the big kids do to "earn" allowance or spending money (or saving for something special).  And finally, we do go out to dinner as a group, not too often because it's very frustrating sometimes so we maybe order it and pick it up so we're not cooking but all getting something special.  The big kids are not required to help with the little ones but they do love their little sibs and reading to them or building with them is something they love.  It's not always fun and games, but is life ever ALWAYS fun and games?!  I also think the new person is going to fit right in.

 

BTW, regarding GD ... when #5 was a girl I was devastated. At the 18w scan when we found out I struggled and think maybe I even got a bit depressed.  I was planning on having my tubes tied but changed my mind after finding out she was a girl.  After she was born at 33w and in the NICU for 2w and didn't learn to nurse until 14 weeks and I pumped for 14w every 3 hours to make sure she had enough milk.  I have never felt so awful in my life.  I had PPD and I feel like it was a result of the GD I had when pregnant.  Now, she is my angel baby and I love her more than words, but it was a very difficult part of my life.  This time, I would love to have a boy to make 3/3 but I realize another girl would work logistically (bedrooms, clothes passed down etc) and feel like either would be wonderful and I'm so excited to have this last chance to do this.  I do have to have my tubes tied after this, I'm so high risk that my OB is transferring me to an MFM group and I have to have a c/s so they can be tied while in there.  I'm blessed to have a wonderful loving husband that loves our big family as well (my oldest is not his) and snuggling with them on the couch or what ever.  We do what it takes to make it work and everyone is happy most of the time LOL

Mom to loj 04/99 ~ hmb 12/00 ~ kab 09/03 ~ kab 03/06 (born still) ~ bmb 07/08 ~ leb 03/10 ~ ocb 01/12 (born still)

Posts: 253

Joined 3-Jan-11

9-Dec-11 9:07 pm

April 2011 Baby Girl as sweet as can be, and another bundle of joy due May 2013.  Wish me Good Luck Clover for Baby Boy

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