Forums  Gender Selection Gender Prediction Gender Disappointment Gender Odds

Never going to have a daughter

Posts: 102

Joined 15-Mar-10

18-Nov-11 8:30 pm

we found out 2 wks ago that baby #3 is another BOY.

he is healthy and growing well and it was a blessing to see a healthy bub after spending the day before the scan in hospital with suspected kidney stones.

but the night we found out in bed i broke down, it hit me hard i couldnt stop crying. i got almost no sleep and stupidly got up at 3am and started looking at my baby boy clothes which made me a blubbering mess.......

since then i have been dealing with some friends not even congratulating me, some asking if i was dissapointed and just the fear this baby wont get much attention becuase he is not the she everyone was wishing for.

i love boys and know i love him already but so so sad i will never have a daughter...

i was so sure this one was a girl.

we GD not extreme but changed our diets got ph quiet low, everything aligned up with the moon signs etc all seemed to be on track. i even went to a psycic when i was 7wks and she picked up straiught away i was pregnant (not visually u couldnt tell) and she was pretty adament i was having a girl. this psycic is really well known and a pretty higly ranked in the psycic world, i really beleived it, she was so spot on with so much, why would i doubt her..

 

i dont have the US pic to proove it, infact i only got 1 good pic at my scan but he was 99.9% positive it was boy and ive seen the dangly bits before and know it was a boy.

everyhwhere i look there are girls, there are siblings of 2 boys and a girl, or pigeon pairs

i was so nievly confident that we had done it i think the GD hit me by surprise........i guess it will get better over time..... will it??

DS1 April 2006 Baby Bear Boy DS2 October 2007 Baby Bear Boy DS3 Baby Bear Boy on his way in April 2012

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2bfbe1

 

Posts: 102

Joined 15-Mar-10

18-Nov-11 8:40 pm

i also had bad morning sickness this pg and throwing up every day until 14wks...never had any ms or vomitting with ds1 & 2 so another reason i was thinking diff pregnancy diff gender Sad

DS1 April 2006 Baby Bear Boy DS2 October 2007 Baby Bear Boy DS3 Baby Bear Boy on his way in April 2012

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2bfbe1

Posts: 477

Joined 26-Jun-11

Top Poster
18-Nov-11 8:46 pm

my1dream:
i even went to a psycic when i was 7wks and she picked up straiught away i was pregnant (not visually u couldnt tell) and she was pretty adament i was having a girl. this psycic is really well known and a pretty higly ranked in the psycic world, i really beleived it, she was so spot on with so much, why would i doubt her..
 

If you had to pay for her reading, get your money back, no real psychic charges money, hence there are very few true psychics. 

This is all I really wanted to say. I hope things getting better for you. I can't imagine what it's even like to have a boy, but I would like to someday. 


Baby Bear Girl4/2011


Posts: 29

Joined 14-Sep-11

18-Nov-11 8:52 pm

Let yourself grieve the baby girl you won't have. I found things so much easier after I just spent an evening crying and grieving. I apologised out loud to the daughter I wouldn't have that I would never see her get married, or be there when she birthed my grandchildren, I said sorry to her that she would not exist and that she would only ever remain a twinkle in the sky.

It felt a good to get it out. I hope that helps you.

Mother to Baby Boy (2006) and Baby Boy (2012)

Pretty sure we will TTC #3, but now wouldn't mind adding another Baby Boy, Little Mr 2012 cured my GD.

Posts: 12

Joined 17-Nov-11

19-Nov-11 1:24 am

 I just found out my baby #4 is a boy. I went through extreme GD with baby #3, to point of suicidal thoughts. Baby#4 was an opps, and from the moment I found out, I have been praying to God for a girl. I research, studied, prayed so hard, had people praying for me. I just didn't think God would put me through this again after the last time. I am now waivering in my faith I have had for so long. My eyes are so dry from all the crying and I can't even think straight.

 

I get mad at God because I believed all my life in him and then I get mad at my husband for making only male sperm. I am just very hurt.  My dad died when I was 7 , so I was raised by my mom only, with three sisters and a step sister. Years later, my mom remairried and I got another step sister. All girls, only girls in my life and I am suppose to just be ok with all boys in my life?

I live in another country, I get to see my family maybe once a year if I am lucky but more like two years. I am alone, and I love my boys , but I needed a daughter. 

Such a simple request that hurts no one, and yet God couldn't find it in his will to grant me a daughter.

I am more than angry and hurt.

 

" Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Mark 11:24

Counting my blessings:-)

Posts: 1,286

Joined 15-Dec-09

Top Poster
19-Nov-11 2:40 am
((HUGS))  It will get better over time.  Retail therapy and choosing a name sometimes helps.  I always heard on here that baby #3(of same gender)  is special and its sooooo true. There is something truly magical about DS3Hearts
 

Baby Boy(2/2005)Baby Boy(5/2008)Baby Boy(5/2011) (Dr pressured me into tubal during csectSad Flower)

Posts: 477

Joined 26-Jun-11

Top Poster
19-Nov-11 7:39 am

dreaminglikeelizabeth"]Such a simple request that hurts no one, and yet God couldn't find it in his will to grant me a daughter.[/quote] 

I wouldn't blame God, it's 50/50 everytime, people should at least know that. Im wondering, why didn't you pray to God to lead you to PGD after your 2nd son? Sure it's expensive but is it worth your heartache and desire to have a daughter?

I know in my hear of hearts if I had a 2nd girl, I could only assume the 3rd would be too, it's just how we would natuarlly think. That's when id stop, esp. if I was trying for a son, the more daughters or sons in your case, the harder it gets. 

[quote user="dreaminglikeelizabeth:

. All girls, only girls in my life and I am suppose to just be ok with all boys in my life?

Well, you took the chance and became pregnant with each of them so?? I don't understand the question. We magicily can't get what we want we have to take it in our OWN hands and make it happen! Through adoption or PGD.

 


Baby Bear Girl4/2011


Posts: 33

Joined 12-Oct-11

19-Nov-11 8:05 am
Azuremyst"]

[quote user="dreaminglikeelizabeth"]Such a simple request that hurts no one, and yet God couldn't find it in his will to grant me a daughter.[/quote] 

I wouldn't blame God, it's 50/50 everytime, people should at least know that. Im wondering, why didn't you pray to God to lead you to PGD after your 2nd son? Sure it's expensive but is it worth your heartache and desire to have a daughter?

I know in my hear of hearts if I had a 2nd girl, I could only assume the 3rd would be too, it's just how we would natuarlly think. That's when id stop, esp. if I was trying for a son, the more daughters or sons in your case, the harder it gets. 

[quote user="dreaminglikeelizabeth:

. All girls, only girls in my life and I am suppose to just be ok with all boys in my life?[/quote]

Well, you took the chance and became pregnant with each of them so?? I don't understand the question. We magicily can't get what we want we have to take it in our OWN hands and make it happen! Through adoption or PGD.

 

Not everyone can afford the high tech stuff. We hope that luck and prayer will push things our way. Plus, it's not like our dh's will go for high-tech if w can conceive on our own.

Posts: 22

Joined 19-Nov-11

19-Nov-11 10:09 am
dreaminglileelizabeth: I'm in a similar situation. I had terrible GD with son#3. I have a hard time shopping because I'm drawn to pink and ruffles. I get really depressed when I see little girls with bows in their hair, especially ones that I think look like my boys. I just about had my husband convinced to do PGD in Jan/Feb 2012. Then, I had an oops this summer. I tried to think positive. I didn't want to find out the sex because I didn't want to go through the GD again while pregnant. I find it easier to cope when I actually have the baby. At my NT scan the technician basically told me it was a boy. Then 2 weeks later I had a regular Dr. appt. He couldn't hear the heartbeat because the placenta was in front, so had to do a quick scan. He hinted it was a boy even though I told him I didn't want to know. I just found out the gender at an u/s at 18 weeks because I couldn't take the stress and anxiety from the 2 previous scans. It is another boy. I have been crying nonstop for days. My husband wanted 2 kids. I wanted 3. I was willing to have 4. Like I said, I had him almost convinced to go for 4. I'm so mad at myself and the world for having an accident. I was finally starting to feel happy about life. We had a fun summer and I was looking forward to giving my boys a little sister. They too were hoping for a girl. I haven't told anybody yet because I can't handle the comments (especially from people with girls) and the question of whether I'm going to have another. I have terrible nausea and vomiting during my entire pregnancies. This time I felt like walking death weeks 6-12. The thought of going through that again makes me so sad. The thought of taking care of 5 children scares me to death. I also prayed and prayed for the past few years for a girl and feel like it was all just wasted energy. I had people praying for me too. I just can't understand why this would happen. I feel like I'm being punished for something. The really crazy part is that my first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I was devastated. I then had trouble getting pregnant and feared I'd never have kids. I had to take fertility drugs, do IUI and acupuncture just to have my 3 boys. The getting pregnant by accident seems unreal. I'm in such shock over boy #4. Everyone I know, knows how badly I want a girl. This may sound strange, but I'm embarrassed to tell them I'm having another boy. I feel like a failure. I too was mad at my husband for giving me boys after son#3, but I've actually read a lot about how some women favor one sex sperm over the other, so you just don't know who is to blame.

Posts: 46

Joined 25-Jul-11

19-Nov-11 2:51 pm

 

dreaminglikeelizabeth,

i feel exactly like u. 3 boys and 4th on the way. family overseas. angry at husband for boy sperm. faith in god is gone. everybody around me is having girls.....its like a slap in the face, a knife in my heart....its degrading........ whats the purpose of it? why testing me so much? i dont even want to socialize anymore. i dont want to see my best friend and her daughter. i dont even want to see my cousin overseas who is pregnant w a girl or walk to the park w my 2 neighbors who just had girls....one of them has 2 boys, the other one 3 boys....but now they have daughters and i wont have one. never ever.......

Posts: 477

Joined 26-Jun-11

Top Poster
19-Nov-11 5:10 pm

Coffeecake:
Not everyone can afford the high tech stuff. We hope that luck and prayer will push things our way. Plus, it's not like our dh's will go for high-tech if w can conceive on our own.
 

I wasn't really implying that, but if you work hard and save up $$ if it's your dream, if that huge of a deal it should not stop you from at least trying a high tech cycle. As far of the DH's go, they should be on board of course and share your dreams as well. If I never have a boy im not going to play the blame game and blame God or someone else because I didn't get what I wanted, im not 5 years old.  I get where GD is coming from when it's dissapointment not the imsanity of thinking of aborting, divorcing, and being miserable the rest of your life because it's how things played out. 

Life's too short to be anything but happy!


Baby Bear Girl4/2011


Posts: 33

Joined 12-Oct-11

19-Nov-11 6:08 pm
I'd be very happy if I had a girl. Or enough money to afford high-tech for a girl.

Posts: 102

Joined 15-Mar-10

20-Nov-11 3:33 pm

thanks for your replies.

it is totally crazy that i would even think of having a 4th, i havent even had number 3 yet, but ive been secretly thinking if we could go down the PGD road then maybe we could have 4 children..... but dh wanted 2 kids so i dont think he would ever want 4. Plus this will be c/s 3 for me too so i dont even know how i feel about that.

after we found out it was a boy ds1 and i went to buy a little outfit for him, TBH if ds wasnt with me i would have bought nothing.... nothing appealed to me at all, cause ive bought it all before, it seems so dull, i already had the things in my mind i wanted to buy if it was a girl which i guess made it harder to buy boys stuff.

DS1 April 2006 Baby Bear Boy DS2 October 2007 Baby Bear Boy DS3 Baby Bear Boy on his way in April 2012

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2bfbe1

Counting my blessings:-)

Posts: 1,286

Joined 15-Dec-09

Top Poster
20-Nov-11 3:58 pm
my1dream:

thanks for your replies.

it is totally crazy that i would even think of having a 4th, i havent even had number 3 yet, but ive been secretly thinking if we could go down the PGD road then maybe we could have 4 children..... but dh wanted 2 kids so i dont think he would ever want 4. Plus this will be c/s 3 for me too so i dont even know how i feel about that.

after we found out it was a boy ds1 and i went to buy a little outfit for him, TBH if ds wasnt with me i would have bought nothing.... nothing appealed to me at all, cause ive bought it all before, it seems so dull, i already had the things in my mind i wanted to buy if it was a girl which i guess made it harder to buy boys stuff.

My Dr was adamant about me getting my tubes tied during my 3rd c-sect, I hope your Dr isn't as rigid.  As for the God vs physical explanations of why we get one gender or another.....I believe that God gives us the little souls that belong in our family regardless of genderHeart.

 

Baby Boy(2/2005)Baby Boy(5/2008)Baby Boy(5/2011) (Dr pressured me into tubal during csectSad Flower)

Posts: 477

Joined 26-Jun-11

Top Poster
20-Nov-11 5:45 pm

 Am wondering if it's even possible for you to have a vaginal birth after c? The only reason I had a c was because my baby was over 10lbs. trying to come out face up so I never dialated past 9cm and progress stopped. I know people have different reason for getting a c but was just wondering. I know of people who have had 4 c's. I still think of having #2 even though my #1 is only 7 months, but I can't help obessesing if the next one would be a boy or if we could ever make a boy, not that my daughter isn't perfect, she is in my eyes, but something that seems hard to explain I guess.


Baby Bear Girl4/2011


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