I am so sorry you've had to go through this. Seriously. Its so hard that you can't talk about it to your friends and family etc, that's the nature of HT I guess. You will probably love this baby boy more than anything as he's so special to have made it through all that. You will feel better in time but right now my heart goes out to you. This is not a disaster, you will have a healthy happy gorgeous bundle at the end of it, to love and adore. It will just take you a while longer until you get your girl, but you will get your girl. Sometimes things happen for a reason and although its not clear why at the time, I do believe everything works out for the best in the long run. You are very brave and I wish I knew you, to throw my arms around you. Thinking of you so much xxx
I wish I would have said this! You have a great support system here. Sending you my prayers.