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Scared to TTC a Girl...

Posts: 9

Joined 12-Sep-11

12-Sep-11 5:07 pm

Hi all, I'm new here, although I've been lurking for quite a while and learning all there is to learn from you smart ladies! I've been blessed in not having trouble getting pregnant, and conceived two healthy boys right on or around ovulation, at ages 31 and 33. I am now 36 and would like to sneak in one more shot at a girl before my childbearing years wind down. I have lots of EWCM each month, and I think I've read that is good for boy babies.

However--My husband is not a big believer in swaying and would think I was a crazy lady if I tried to get him to take certain vitamins, wear his tightie whities extra tight or take hot showers on command. Yeah, I don't see any of that happening, so any 'swaying' I do will be on my own. I just started taking a Cal/Mag/Zinc supp and have been on a halfhearted girl diet. Lots of dairy, orange juice, cranberries, pumpkin seeds, almonds--which is not unlike my usual diet, I'm kind of a health nut. I don't eat sweets often, I don't drink soda at all, and I rarely eat red meat. Splenda/Aspartame is out of the question because I hate that wierd aftertaste and I don't think those things are all that great for me. I'm an all-natural girl and we really don't have any junk food/artificial flavorings in the house. So my swaying would be decent, but not as gung-ho as a lot of people I've read about.

I'm just trying to get around the fear of having a third boy. It's not that I hate having boys--my boys aren't "boy boys," anyway. They're both quite bookish, shy, cerebral, and more like daughters than I would have imagined. They both say I'm their 'best friend' and my eldest keeps asking me to take him to a tea party. So I feel lucky in that while their both train fanatics, they are not rough-housers or as aggressive as the little boys I see at the playground. I'm also terrified of teenage girls and how cruel they can be to one another, so I have my doubts about how great an older girl would be.

BUT--I still really, really, really want a little girl. I lost my mom when I was pregnant with my first and I so miss that mother-daughter relationship. I see women out shopping with their daughters and I know my boys will only want to be my companions for so long. I soooo love the girls clothes and I almost feel like the shops that seem to have soooooo many more girls' clothes than boys' just value girls more, and that sends a cruel message to moms of boys. Wierd, but those are the feelings I have when I go shopping and have to wade through aisles of pink just to get to a few pants and shirts offered in the boy section. I definitely think American society is pro-girl the way Asian cultures are pro-boy. That just gets annoying after a while. I also hate the way other women seem to feel sorry for us boy moms--their pity mirrors my own despair and I feel so much hurt and anger towards them, even though I know the issues lie within myself.

Ugh--such a loaded topic, but I'm sure glad I have a place to come and share with others who feel the same. I don't share much of this with my husband because I don't want to scare him off TTCing, and so many of my boy mom friends are so competitive with the 'race to the girl' thing that I can't even hang around them anymore, let alone tell them how I really feel. [:'(]

Thanks for listening, ladies.

Two Gentle Boys, Hoping to TTC a Girl!

Baby Boy 3/3/2007   Baby Boy 5/30/2009

 

Posts: 221

Joined 14-Sep-11

20-Sep-11 10:22 am

BooksnCoffee:
Splenda/Aspartame is out of the question because I hate that wierd aftertaste and I don't think those things are all that great for me. I'm an all-natural girl and we really don't have any junk food/artificial flavorings in the house. So my swaying would be decent, but not as gung-ho as a lot of people I've read about.

Amen! I really can't stand the aftertaste of fake sugar, it makes me gag...so I might try Crystal Light, but it's going to be a hard sell. I also love experimenting and tasting different foods, rich flavors...the diet is going to be awfully tough....

For me, it is not so much that I don't want a 3rd boy. I love my two boys dearly, as you do, BooksnCoffee. I think for me, the idea of NOT having a daughter is hard because it will close down a fork in the road, you know? 3 kids is my max (I say that now...) but finicially, it's going to be tight. My husband is on board with some of the sway factors, he'll wear the tighty whities, he'll try to drink more milk, and do the hot shower thing. He's not happy about abstaining, and as I talk to him about the sway factors, he seems supportive but concerned. He is going with me on this, but reluctantly...he's afraid of a girl child, actually. Afraid of someone hurting his little girl, if we ever have one, or just afraid of a mean girl, or a girl who would get bullied....girl children can be so brutally hard on themselves....

I have this creepy feeling like, "be careful what you wish for." I have longed and dreamed of having a daughter for so many years (I'm 33) and I always thought I'd have a bunch of little girls when I was young. My reality is that I have two beautiful sweethearts boys...and what if I have the girl and it's nothing like I dreamed? I guess I am really afraid either way!

Having a girl child would be a long time dream coming true. However, I know this is going to sound strange, but sometimes i wonder if I do have the girl child, I'd be losing out on that precious third son who will complete my trio, lol. I guess because I am open to the boy idea too that I have convinced myself that I must try for a 3RD CHILD, lol.

Anyway, that's my rant, and I share many of your feelings...and esp. the fact that my mom and I are super close, even if we drive each other crazy!!! My mom had 3 girls and 1 boy, and she said if she knew how good a son was going to be to her (My brother is a 41 year old momma's boy, tho he is married with 2 kids of his own), she would have tried for a 5th child and had another boy, because she thinks boys are awesome, and wished she had more. My older two sisters frustrate her, lol.

Baby Bear BoyQuinten 2007 / Baby Bear Boy Evan 2011 / Baby Bear Girl Brand new! 2012

Posts: 2

Joined 30-Sep-11

1-Oct-11 12:51 am

I am completely in the same boat as you two ladies. I have to boys also Heart and I am totally terrified of another male. Not only am I the only female in my home, but my boys are definitly those crazy, running all over and climbing things kind of boys. This would be the first for DH and I together so I know trying is in my future. I also feel like now that I have him on this TTC boat, I should take advantage before he changes his mind or something, but the anxiety of worrying "did we do it this time" is starting to get to me. Im torn between giving myself time to get used to the idea and just jumping on board while we're both on the same page. Ive wanted this for a long time, but now Im just afraid.

Baby Boy 8 Baby Boy 3 Trying for a Baby Girl Pray

Angela

Posts: 1,362

Joined 20-Jul-11

Top Poster
8-Oct-11 10:47 am

 I have three boys- so same boat just wondering about TTC # 4- and ifs a boy.  its like I get what I want- but why try again for a boy- and I don't mean that negative at all- but I just so scared what if I have to greive teh loss of my daughter I never will have.

I have been doing the girl diet over a week and yesterday IO just stopped dh even started drinking coffee- sometimes we feel you do what you do and you get what you get- we are waiting on TTC # 4 - to ensure we want to do this- and satisfied with ever gender we get.  

I love my sons- they are my everything- but I can relate to wantinga  daughter to shop with or to do her hair - or to have a daughter bond- but I also realize that nmmaybe one day I won't have that daughter to walk down the aisle with her dad ana dme and its very real- which terifies me.  nothing is certain in life- so I have to remain positive and realize how blessed I am.  nonetheless, the pain is still there.  

Baby Bear Boy  Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy  Baby Bear GirlBorn Aug 5, 2012 at 39 weeks 5 days


 




Posts: 1,166

Joined 21-Mar-10

Top Poster
8-Oct-11 11:27 am

BooksnCoffee:
I'm just trying to get around the fear of having a third boy. It's not that I hate having boys-

 I remember wanting to get pregnant for a third time. I had just suffered a loss and I remember thinking...I just wanted a healthy baby...but once I was pregnant ..I wanted a healthy girl!!!! I am just like you, I got pregnant very easy for my 2 boys and I had planned for sex 1 day prior to O for both. Even though I didnt sway, I did a few things that may have helped me. I asked DH to drink 2 glasses of wine every night for 5 days while TTC (a lot of my friends who have husbands who drink every weekend have a higher # of girls. My DH doesnt drink much at all). I had sex 4 days prior to and on the day of O. I normally do use splenda and drink diet cokes ...so that was easy for me.....but I did that for the 2 boys also. And of course, I did pray a lot.

 I found ingender after I became pregnant so I felt I had somehow missed out on giving it my best shot. But lo and behold....she was a girl. I was 37 when I had her so we really are on a similar time line. Now that I am content, DH wants another baby! I will be 39 in November .....well, thats a separate topic.

I truly truly hope you all get your DG...not because I feel pity for you. (I actually would have loved for 1 of my boys to b more gentle ...but they are both rough and tumble!! ) Just because I think everyone should be aloud to have what they want. I wish GD never existed . Good Luck girls. You are all in my prayers.

Baby Boy-2004 Baby Boy-2007 Heartbroken-2009 Baby Girl-8/5/2010Love Ya!

Mia Hearts made an early appearance on 8/5/2010 by emergent C-section and has overwhelmed us with her presence. I am in love for a 4th time Love Ya!. Thank you GOD.

Posts: 6

Joined 16-Oct-11

16-Oct-11 10:24 am
I have 3 boys, and I am scared to death of having a 4th. I have sort of resigned myself to it though.... My mom went to a psychic reading thing when I was pregnant with #3 and they said I wouldn't get a girl until #5, so I am actually expecting the 4th to be another boy.... I am waiting to TTC until #3 is at least 2, but we may wait a little bit longer. I have some big goals that I need to meet before I get pregnant again.... I will be swaying for a girl, but expecting a boy. For right now, I am going to be gathering all of the info I need to start swaying and getting my plan of attack down, lol!
DS1 (10/06), DS2 (11/08), DS3 (12/10), hoping to start TTC PINK winter 2012!

Jen

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Joined 26-Dec-10

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16-Oct-11 11:53 am

if i could share my advice ladies. test your ph levels!! i had what i thought was an amazing boy sway which resulted in twin girls. the only thing i think i failed at was that i never once checked my ph levels or dh's. check them  then check them  again and again.  i did the diet, i did the suppliments, i did the timing. i followed the chinese baby charts. i did NOT check ph levels. good luck.

Baby Bear Girl01, Baby Bear Girl03, Baby Bear Girl05, Baby Bear Girl09, Baby Bear Girl10Heartbroken, Baby Bear Girl11, Baby Bear Girl11Heartbroken, Baby Bear Boy12, Baby Bear Girl13Heartbroken

Posts: 51

Joined 25-Dec-09

21-Nov-11 5:36 am

Ladies, im so in the same boat. I have 3 beautiful boys and hopefully will try and sway for a girl in 2012. I would be happy with another boy but i would be sad that my chance of ever getting a girl will be over. My DH is happy to sway to hopefully up our chances of getting our girl but im so so scared at the thought of not getting her.

Im going to start tracking my cycles and hopefully pinpoint when i ov and start testing my PH and do lots of research on swaying before we actually start ttc. Good luck ladies in ttc pink xxx

 

Mummy to 3 wonderful little boys Baby Bear Boy Elliott 5 Baby Bear Boy Benjamin 4 Baby Bear Boy Oliver 2 swayed for a Baby Bear Girl but expecting a sweet Baby Bear Boy Nov 2012 Hearts

Posts: 633

Joined 28-Sep-11

Top Poster
5-Dec-11 8:50 am

I feel the same way. Three boys in and no pink in sight terrifies me of doing a 4th attempt. I was actually planning on ttc in November and chickened out. I'm thinking of January now, but honestly, I'm not sure if I will then. I feel like no matter what happens I will love him/her, but I can't shake that it is undoubtedly my last shot and I don't know how I'd react if swaying failed. I feel so desperate to have the boy bond and the girl bond. It's very frustrating trying to understand why I feel so unworthy to have a girl. And I'm scared to tell my mom what I'm thinking of doing because she's full of criticisms.

Baby Bear Boy 2007 Baby Bear Boy 2008 Baby Bear Boy 2010 and Pray Baby Bear Girl 2014

Due in September 2014

Posts: 140

Joined 10-Mar-12

16-Mar-12 5:33 pm
Hello Ladies!! I'm new to the IG forums, and I actually can't believe I am actually writing this! I am in the same boat as you are! I have one son, and I love him so so much, but I always had the idea of having a daughter. I have two sisters, and we are super close with my mom, we can actually stay all night long talking about anything... And would love to that same relationship with a daughter. About those "all girl moms" I feel the same way when they say things like " I hope your next baby is a girl, you have no idea how amazing it is", it really bothers me, and I always reply, "I am actually so happy and in love with my boy that I would love for him to have little brother!"...LOL! And you know, I really love my baby boy, and I cannot imagine my life without him, he makes smile all day long, he is incredibly beautiful and loving, and super smart, he's perfect in any way possible, and I love the idea that if I ever get to have a daughter, she'll have an older brother! I never had that, and always thought it would have been super cool to have a really cute older brother you know LOL! But anyway, I am planning to start TTC on July. I already started changing my diet slightly, eating more calcium foods (milk and yogurt), drinking CL, and changing from sugar to Equal (I hate the taste too, but this is my one shot to get a girl, so I'll try to stick as much as I can to the recommendations!). I have already bought lavander spray, body wash, detergent, dishwasher liquid etc. and wil have a little plant in my room for the negative ions. The thing that has me really nervous is the CM pH, I have tried a couple of times to get a decent sample but I can't get enough and it doesn't seem to read right... I have read to get a Diva Cup or something like, but I don't know what that is, and honestly that douching part and all that is the only thing I think I won't be doing in my sway. I have read that for some people the Ph raises with the diet and some supplements (like calcium and acidophilus) and I am so nervous I am not being able to check my CMs pH to know if my diet will work or not... any ideas?? Thanks girls!! I am super happy I found IG and and I am finally posting my feelings and questions!! xoxo, PetiteFille
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Link to my FAILED girl sway: http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/p/257118/2400655.aspx#2400655

Posts: 199

Joined 14-Feb-11

29-Apr-12 6:44 pm

I feel the same way....but about having a boy. I have two AMAZING little girls that I would not trade for the world. One is my spitting image and the other is exactly like me attitude/behavior-wise....Lord help us! LOL As much as I love them, I would love nothing more than to have a baby boy as our third and final baby. DH and I were pregnant before with a baby boy that we lost at 17 weeks and I guess a part of me was left yearning for what we could have had had we not lost him. I see DH with our little girls, they love him to death and he is their everything. I know they love me too (lol) and don't get me wrong, I have a very special bond with them, but -and you ladies with sons know this- there's a special bond mommies have with their sons as well that is special and unique in its own way, and I'd love to be able to experience that one day Happy

Baby Girl 2008 Baby Girl 2010....coming soon Baby Girl July 2013

Posts: 140

Joined 10-Mar-12

4-May-12 3:41 pm
I hope we all get our dreams come true, I am praying everyday! Good luck and many blessings to all of you in this process which seems to be more confusing everyday, yet really exciting!!! Xo, PetiteFille
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Link to my FAILED girl sway: http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/p/257118/2400655.aspx#2400655

Posts: 71

Joined 20-Apr-12

4-May-12 3:57 pm

I totally understand this post. I really want a girl but was so afraid of the disappointment if we swayed for a girl and got a boy that we didn't sway! I know that doesn't make any sense but i felt that if we'd really tried for a girl then the disappointment would be greater than if we didn't sway and got a boy. My hopes would have been raised even higher if we had swayed so now maybe i've messed up our chances of having a girl because of my own fear?!

 Feels so lucky to be expecting our little girl Isabelle - still not bored of pink EVERYTHING!

Posts: 140

Joined 10-Mar-12

4-May-12 5:24 pm
I feel the same way, sometimes I fear swaying will not work, but I rather feel that I tried everything than not trying at all. Thre's a song that says "it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do..." that's why I'll be giving my everything to tbis girl sway (except douching), and if not at least i know i tried. I have prayed so much for a baby girl that maybe God put tnis site in my way so I could try.. Who knows... i'm still prYing every single day that He guides me in all my choices so that I can conceive a healthy baby girl. If I dont get my girl, it will God's will and I will be happy I'M sure. In your case don't worry if youndecide not to sway, there are so many women who get boy and girl, without swaying, and some just get one sex even with hard core swaying, that in the end I really think i's all up to God. Like I said before, I'll try to sway as best I can, but I know that the main thing is having lots of faith that God will give me just whats right for me, be it a girl, or another beautiful baby boy :) Good Luck!!! Xo
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Link to my FAILED girl sway: http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/p/257118/2400655.aspx#2400655

Angela

Posts: 1,362

Joined 20-Jul-11

Top Poster
4-May-12 6:36 pm
Canadianttc#4:

 I have three boys- so same boat just wondering about TTC # 4- and ifs a boy.  its like I get what I want- but why try again for a boy- and I don't mean that negative at all- but I just so scared what if I have to greive teh loss of my daughter I never will have.

I have been doing the girl diet over a week and yesterday IO just stopped dh even started drinking coffee- sometimes we feel you do what you do and you get what you get- we are waiting on TTC # 4 - to ensure we want to do this- and satisfied with ever gender we get.  

I love my sons- they are my everything- but I can relate to wantinga  daughter to shop with or to do her hair - or to have a daughter bond- but I also realize that nmmaybe one day I won't have that daughter to walk down the aisle with her dad ana dme and its very real- which terifies me.  nothing is certain in life- so I have to remain positive and realize how blessed I am.  nonetheless, the pain is still there.  

I just read my October post and wanted to sway we swayedA Nd we are expecting a girl after 3 boys! If ur still on the fence I say Id I'd thinking about it- u want to try! All the best.

Baby Bear Boy  Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy  Baby Bear GirlBorn Aug 5, 2012 at 39 weeks 5 days


 




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