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Oh, the drama...

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Joined 26-May-11

10-Jun-11 12:46 pm
I was doing pretty well with GD lately... I am pregnant with my third girl. The reason it is getting worse again is that my 3 and 6 year old daughters are so, so catty lately... they are constantly doing what I see as "mean girl" stuff. I was the oldest of four and all three of my siblings were brothers, so I don't have any experience with this with a sister - I had almost all male cousins, too. But I do remember this with girls in school. They were just downright manipulative and b1tchy at times, and I never got into all the drama - it made no sense to me at all. But my girls will do things all the time now, like putting on some dress-up clothes and saying, in a teasy kind of voice, "Aren't I beautiful? I'm the most beauuuutiful princess of all!" which of course starts a huge argument. They will also pretend to be somebody else, and instead of just acting like whatever character they are pretending to be, they will say, in that same whiny/teasing voice, "IIIII am Cindereeeeellllla!" and then the other will say, "I am, toooooo!" It is non-stop. It doesn't just happen with the Cinderella theme, but that seems to be a worse one, so I have banned the Cinderella movie in our house. They only watched it about 4 times anyway, and we don't have any of the other princess toys and stuff, so it's almost scary how much of an impact it seems to have on them (the way the stepsisters act in the movie). Actually, Disney in general has a bad effect on them - just books based on the movies that they read at their grandparents' house. They always pretend to be the people in the books and argue about it, or brag about who they are to make the other one upset. They don't get it that when you pretend to be somebody, you ACT like them, not just stand around announcing who you are! It blows my mind because I found make-believe games very easy to play as kid, but then, my brothers were always the boys and I was the girl, so there was no arguing over characters! It doesn't help that the oldest is so bossy and the younger one sees her help and direction as an infringement. So, all the cattiness makes me more sad and fearful that another girl is just going to make this worse, and that a boy wouldn't stand for the drama crap and give us a little balance in life. If it is this bad now, what will happen when they are teenagers???
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10-Jun-11 1:15 pm

My oldest two DDs are 6 and 4 and they do the same thing... I think it comes with age and they'll grow out of it I hope... but sometimes  they are just as sweet and loving towardsd each other, now my DD3 is 20 months and her personality is nothing like the other 2 she is a tomboy so that's a bit of a relief for me lol, but I wouldn't bet that when they are teens they'll just be mean and catty towards each other... i've even seen it in boys, where they fight each other like madmen. I think its just the joy of being young

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xTwoLovesx Rachel

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10-Jun-11 1:16 pm
I dont think its your girls being mean girls it sounds more like your girls being younger kids. It happens with boys too, CONSTANTLY. I have a 4 year old and when he and his best friend play, who is 5, they CONSTANTLY bicker like that too. Its over who is RED spiderman or who is BATMAN ect. It is probably the most annoying thing to listen to ever. They can never agree, if my son wants to be Red Spiderman so does his friend, if my son says he looks like BEN10 so does my friend and then its a fight of who looks like him more. They even fight over their ages. My son is only 4 months younger than his friend and his friend is CONSTANTLY bragging about how he is 5 now and Travis is only 4. Its just down right annoying as hell and makes me not want my son to play with this kid, but his friend is actually MY BEST FRIEND'S son so its hard to just say "no". Also, if Kyle (friend) has a sucker or something he flashes it in Travis's face and says "look what I have, you dont have it because IM better than you"..now if you want to call someone a mean girl its this little brat right here. Ugh I cant stand bratty kids and It sounds like your kids are just normal little girls, and im pretty sure they are only doing that because they are SISTERS and sisters and brothers are prone to tease eachother!
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10-Jun-11 1:48 pm
Thanks for your responses... I hope it is just being kids. I remember teasing my bothers, but not quite in the same way. My brothers just beat up on each other as kids, whereas my daughters will say things like, "YOU can't be Fern (in Charlotte's Web" because FERN didn't have BLOND hair!!" One is brown eyed/brown haired and the other is blue eyed/blonde haired. I wonder if they have picked up on some kind of cultural comments on beauty and hair/eye color too... the brown hair/eyed daughter tends to be more ugly-sounding about it to her sister, and I wonder if she has somehow gotten the impression that she should be jealous of her sister's hair and eyes...?
DD 2005, DD 2008, DD #3 due 9/11/11

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10-Jun-11 3:04 pm

 My mom had three girls. I am the oldest of the three and can remember how we were when we were that age. I think they will grow out of it! When we were in our teen years (I was 16 my middle sister was 13 and my youngest sister was 10) we got along great. We road bike all around town and in school we'd stand up for each other. My youngest sister was quite a tomboy so she kind of balanced us out a bit. But I have to say, the drama was only when we were younger and only one or two of us were in school. Once all three of us were in school it all ended.

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10-Jun-11 5:39 pm

I remember that too, I hear my DD doing the same things "I wanna be the green one because i have on green, but you can't mommy because you dont have green" etc etc...they are just pointing out the obvious, like you said about hair/eye color etc...and they will ALWAYS be jealous of what the other has...just like even as an adult I see people with a certain "look" and get a little envious...silly but human nature.

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10-Jun-11 5:59 pm

 I think its just them being younger kids. I have 2 boys. One is almost 6 and one is 2 and a half. My oldest is really mean to my youngest one and they will fight over who gets to be mario and who gets to be luigi. My youngest son always ends up being the charector they do not favor, lol. They even fight over who gets to help me or little things like who gets their teeth brushed first. If i ask one to do something like turn off the TV, ill ask one and the other will run by the other and do it before the one i asked can do it and then they'll say "HA HA! I DID IT!" So i think its just the sage! 

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10-Jun-11 6:08 pm

 it has nothing to do with genders....kids fight.period. my 4 yrs son and 2 yr daughter fight...they hit each other and scream and fight!

goes with having kids..

 

byebeautiful:
If i ask one to do something like turn off the TV, ill ask one and the other will run by the other and do it before the one i asked can do it and then they'll say "HA HA! I DID IT!"
  lol yes this!!!

 

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10-Jun-11 8:19 pm
I don't think its a gender thing, its the age their at. I was super competitive with my brother closest in age to me, except we fought baaadddd over things. My 2 nephews are that way now too. Ages 5 and 3. The 5 year old is the insigator and the 3 year old is so defensive, they must get in 10 fights a day. The older one likes to tell the younger one ''you a bad boy Brandon, you're too stupid to play with me.'' I am sure my kids will fight just as yours do and just as every other sibling does.

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11-Jun-11 8:11 am
If you put a bunch of boys together you'll get the exact same thing...only that it will be more physical. When my son plays with my nephews if he doesn't get what he wants...its a straight lunge to hit, punch or push. I think that if you try to classify your childrens' behavior to fit stereotypes there's always something to find. When boys do the same things its just "boys being boys" but if girls do it its "drama" and this and that. Steer clear of stereotypes and you'll find that all kids do the same things and it has more to do with your classifications because you try to find a justification for your kids behavior.

Oh and the teenage stereotype results because most teen boys are granted greater freedoms to leave the house. How can a moody teenager annoy you if they are never at home? Just grant your girls the same freedoms and you'll see that they'll be wonderful teenagers. I have to say my sister and I were a thousand times more easier than my cousin boys who were getting into all sorts of things. Drinking, ruining cars, vandalizing the school and doing just plan stupid things, my aunt nearly had a mental breakdown dealing with all their problems!

And boys can definitely be extremely mean. I remember how when my son cried for some reason my nephews were whispering secretly and excluding him from their games because he was a "stupid cry baby" and they were"big boys". Boys can be extremely mean and catty, only that they get away with it more often than not.
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11-Jun-11 8:24 am

byebeautiful:
My youngest son always ends up being the charector they do not favor, lol. They even fight over who gets to help me or little things like who gets their teeth brushed first. If i ask one to do something like turn off the TV, ill ask one and the other will run by the other and do it before the one i asked can do it and then they'll say "HA HA! I DID IT!" So i think its just the sage!

Agree

Same scenario with 6 and almost 4 yr. old. My DS1 has me concerned lately at how mean he is about every little thing!! And everyday its a different character . We went to see kung fu panda 2 and my poor DS2 wanted to be the tigress ( he was basing his decision on how awesome she is) and the older one started laughing and saying "ooohhhh....he wants to be a girly girl" and the younger started screaming. Then it was Thor.....and believe it or not a few mobnths ago fighting over who was Nacho Libre Happy ROFL. Its like this in all families ... I think ?Confused Huh?

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11-Jun-11 3:34 pm
AmericanHousewife:
If you put a bunch of boys together you'll get the exact same thing...only that it will be more physical. When my son plays with my nephews if he doesn't get what he wants...its a straight lunge to hit, punch or push. I think that if you try to classify your childrens' behavior to fit stereotypes there's always something to find. When boys do the same things its just "boys being boys" but if girls do it its "drama" and this and that. Steer clear of stereotypes and you'll find that all kids do the same things and it has more to do with your classifications because you try to find a justification for your kids behavior.

Oh and the teenage stereotype results because most teen boys are granted greater freedoms to leave the house. How can a moody teenager annoy you if they are never at home? Just grant your girls the same freedoms and you'll see that they'll be wonderful teenagers. I have to say my sister and I were a thousand times more easier than my cousin boys who were getting into all sorts of things. Drinking, ruining cars, vandalizing the school and doing just plan stupid things, my aunt nearly had a mental breakdown dealing with all their problems!

And boys can definitely be extremely mean. I remember how when my son cried for some reason my nephews were whispering secretly and excluding him from their games because he was a "stupid cry baby" and they were"big boys". Boys can be extremely mean and catty, only that they get away with it more often than not.
You really dont like boys do you! Every post you have is negative toward boys and its sad because you have a son! Do you outwardly show him your preference to girls?

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11-Jun-11 5:24 pm
Everything I recounted was true experiences to show the OP that she shouldn't feed into stereotypes.This isn't negativity...its reality. What's wrong with that? Just as girls can be active and sporty and not be girly and want to wear dresses, boys can be full of drama. This is a GD forum so everyone who complains of GD doesn't like their sons/daughters that they have GD with? And how irresponsible can one be to show preference? Preferring a gender does not mean preferring a child. Why don't you ask the OP whether she doesn't like her girls? Whether if she has a son she would prefer him? The double standards on here are reprehensible. Every time someone complains that their boys will leave them/will be too wild you have plenty of girl moms chiming in with the fact that there really is no difference between the two genders. Which is good because it is the reality. So why don't you ask them whether they prefer their sons? Ah, because talk about the reality with girls its okay but definitely not the other way around.
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11-Jun-11 6:35 pm

AmericanHousewife:
So why don't you ask them whether they prefer their sons? Ah, because talk about the reality with girls its okay but definitely not the other way around.

 While what you said is true, the reason for that is because in the past there has been tons of boy bashing before due to trolls and sometimes ignorance..so that's why boy moms appear to be more defensive because some of the comments made makes it seem their boys that they love so much and boys in general are considered "less". It should not be like that with any gender, but honestly here in the West it's like girls are prized ones of all.

 Eribeck, it's normal among kids, I mean what else would you expect from a 3 and 6 year old? They all are lke that sometimes lol.

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11-Jun-11 6:36 pm
Oh I definitely dont like negative stereotypes about girls either. I have a daughter and hate when nasty things are said about girls. I have just noticed you ONLY defend girls and chime in on the positives about girls but never ever boys. I find that sad because you have a son. Dont you feel the need to defend boys too since you have one yourself?

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