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Please help!!

Why do I want just one mo

Posts: 497

Joined 15-Sep-08

Top Poster
2-Apr-11 8:25 pm

 I am the mother to 4 beautiful children and DESPERATELY want a 5th.  My husband is sort of on board especially since we had a miscarriage [:'(].  My best friend of 20+ years called and ripped me a new one about having a fifth and told me that I was extremely selfish and that it was not what is best for my family that everyone else in the family would suffer.  I really really feel like I have one little person missing from my family and know that I will be done with 5, but I will loose a friend because she told me she could not stand behind me and would not pretend to be happy for me if I have a fifth.  (my sister is also super against it)  I will admit we have not been the best financially, but we both have incrediable careers, and have learned our lesson about living within our means.

Please help me I am so sad and now sooooo torn.

 

Baby Boy2003 Baby Boy2005 Baby Boy2007

Baby Girl2009 thanks IG

HeartbrokenJan 6, 2011, Sad FlowerApril 23,2012

 

Kristen

Posts: 394

Joined 18-Jan-08

Top Poster
3-Apr-11 1:45 pm

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

My boys are just a bit older than yours, but we both had our girls in 2009. What a joy it has been being the mom of these 4! I never dreamed I would have 4 kiddos, but here I am. I am really wanting another one. I feel the same....somebody is missing! Boy or girl doesn't matter. My DH is on board, but I haven't told very many people. I don't want the negative comments. I don't want to hear how crazy we are. The world tells us a lie.....to have 2 kids and be done. My life would not be the same without the extra 2 God gave us!!

First of all, what kind of friend would "rip you" to shreds over the issue of having and loving another child?!  I think you need a new friend, I don't care how many years you've been friends. Does she have kids? Second, what kind of sister would be so against this idea? It's not like you are a terrorist or you plan to commit a crime of some other sort. Let's get mad over real and bigger issues people!

Children are a BLESSING. Pure and simple. They teach so much about the world, ourselves, and how to become less selfish people.

Have your sister and friend seen you stressed out with the 4 you have? Complain? What basis do they have to be so against your heart's desire to have a 5th?

Do what you know is right in your heart. It doesn't really matter what people think. This is YOUR life and your husbands. You are responsible for these children, not them. If you lose a friend over this.....boy oh boy.....seriously consider her values and how she values you as a person.

Hope this helps! I know I got on my soapbox, but I feel pretty strongly over this issue! I wish you well in your decision!


Baby Boy 2000 Baby Boy 2002 Baby Boy 2006 Baby Girl 2009  Heartbroken 8/18/2011 twins at 10 wks Heartbroken 12/11 Heartbroken 1/2012 Heartbroken4/2012 pregnancy week by week Expecting triplets!!! July, 2013 (is there a siggy for that?! )

Why do I want just one mo

Posts: 497

Joined 15-Sep-08

Top Poster
7-Apr-11 11:51 pm

 Thanks so much I was starting to feel crazy.  I really want a fifth and don't think I am selfish for wanting one more child.

Baby Boy2003 Baby Boy2005 Baby Boy2007

Baby Girl2009 thanks IG

HeartbrokenJan 6, 2011, Sad FlowerApril 23,2012

Parker

Posts: 79

Joined 25-May-11

31-May-11 7:12 pm

It is your family and your life!!  If you and your husband want another child then everybody should stand behind you! Your friend shouldnt be mad, but since she is Im sure she would end up being your friend after she got over the news, you shouldnt worry about that. Plus in the end you dont want that to be something you always think about and regret, because you get to an age where you cant have babies any more and theres no turning back

You need to look in your heart and do what you feel is best for your family, not your friend or your sister they can live their own lives how they see fit.

PS tell them you dont want to end having children on a sad note (miscarriage)

I hope this help

Good Luck

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