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Was that necessary to say?!

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8-Nov-10 2:46 pm

UGH!!!  I was having a nice conversation with a close family member today, and then out of nowhere they hit me with a very rude statement.  I didn't even know how to reply.  It was just like..."um, well"

Anyway, they said, "I know you guys are hoping for a girl this time, but I really can't say that I want you to have one."

 REALLY?!

I have 3 boys, so yeah, definitely hoping for a girl.  But, why would someone NOT want us to have one if they know it's something that we ARE hoping for.  :(

 I just replied, "Well, I've definitely seen some bratty girls that I knew I would never want as my own, but I think you risk that sort of thing with either gender."

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8-Nov-10 3:37 pm

My3Blessings:

Anyway, they said, "I know you guys are hoping for a girl this time, but I really can't say that I want you to have one."

OMG! What a turd. 

I think I would have replied with "Yeah, well I'd really like for you to grow a personality but if it hasn't happened by now, it probably won't"

 

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8-Nov-10 5:02 pm

Wow! That's probably one of the rudest comments I've ever heard! Forget 'you have too many boys' or 'wow you're hands must be full' - this just takes the cake! How could anyone say that they don't want you to have a girl?

Was there any specific reason why they said this?

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8-Nov-10 7:24 pm

What a rude and, frankly, odd thing to say! I fail to see how the gender of your child will impact that person in any way.

 

Nina

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8-Nov-10 7:28 pm

Myloves:

Was there any specific reason why they said this?

Sorry for the back to back posts but I forgot to add that.

Did the person say it because he/she doesn't like girls or was it out of jealousy and he/she doesn't want you to get your DG? Just curious because it's definitely a comment out of left field.

Nina

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8-Nov-10 9:34 pm

The way I took it was that she didn't want any more girls in "her" family.  She has enough.  Disregard the fact that I personally don't have any.  :(  But, I don't think that she has anything against girls.

I also think some family members are afraid that if I get a girl that I'll treat my boys different or something.  This could have been part of that too, I don't know. 

Truthfully, when I think about having a girl to go "with" my boys, I think that it will help me appreciate their "boyness" a little more.  Right now it's hard not to focus on all the negative aspects of having all boys cause I don't get to balance it out with girl stuff too. 

I don't know.  I don't think she was trying to purposefully hurt my feelings cause the conversation was fine, but it was just like "Whoa!  Why would you say that to ME even if you are thinking it?"  It was just unnecessary, regardless of the intentions.  :(

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8-Nov-10 9:37 pm

Also, I may have confused the words a little, it just took me by surprise.

It may have come out more like, "I know you guys are hoping for a girl, but I can't say I'm hoping you get one."

The point was, she acknowledged that she knew we wanted a girl, and made it clear that she was hoping that it's not.  :(

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9-Nov-10 3:52 am
What a rude thing for them to say! I think you responded very well to that, and much nicer than they deserved!! Obviously they have no consideration for your feelings. Here's hoping you do have a little girl this time around, the look on their face would be like icing on the cake! xx
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Claire

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9-Nov-10 9:27 am

My3Blessings:
Truthfully, when I think about having a girl to go "with" my boys, I think that it will help me appreciate their "boyness" a little more.  Right now it's hard not to focus on all the negative aspects of having all boys cause I don't get to balance it out with girl stuff too.

Sort of OT with your original post, but I am so with you right now.  I feel so negative about my boys, and I don't have anything to balance it with.  There's no, "Oh, but my girl is whiney or noisy, too."  It's all, "My son is loud, destructive, unaffectionate, etc...."  

Don't mean to hijack.

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Swayed for Baby Girl, our second Baby Boy born 4/6/10.  Thanks, IG, for the unsatisfying sex, the yeast infection, and another boy!!!!

Not a good candidate for IVF/PGD. Swaying (non-IG) Baby Girl for #3.

 

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