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Letting kids choose their own bed time?

Nichole

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28-Sep-10 1:22 pm

 How does everyone feel about this? Tell me all your thoughts on why you're for or against it...

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28-Sep-10 1:25 pm

im for it-as long as its a reasonable hour then i dont see a problem. kids like independence...they will feel like they r making the decision. You can always give the choice and say " You can either go to bed at 8 or 8:30" this way ur still somewhat in control of it and its a decent hour yet they feel like they made the decision. But with that being said i would make sure they cooperate at bed time or the priviledge gets taken away.

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28-Sep-10 1:33 pm

My kids are night owls....so it's already tough to get them to bed at 10:00 !!!! DS1 will complain about getting up at 630 for school so it wouldnt be a good plan at my house. I actually need to know how to get them in bed by 8:30 ...lol Envy

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28-Sep-10 1:33 pm

I am not sure how that would work with a toddler.  My DS is ready to drop by 6.30pm every night and needs a lunch time nap at the same day everyday. I have found that a good nap/bedtime routine helps him settle down for a restful sleep. Does Xander have a Lovie or anything?



 

Nichole

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28-Sep-10 1:37 pm

Lillylolly:

I am not sure how that would work with a toddler.  My DS is ready to drop by 6.30pm every night and needs a lunch time nap at the same day everyday. I have found that a good nap/bedtime routine helps him settle down for a restful sleep. Does Xander have a Lovie or anything?

 

Nope. But I've tried everything lol. We have a really structured routine every day.. from when we eat, to when we play, to when we read, bed time routine.. everything. Doesn't work for him. I've tried calming music, tried singing to him, tried rubbing his back, tried a snack immediately before bed time.. tried giving him a stuffed animal to lay with.. he's not even allowed to nurse anymore until right at nap time and bed time.. it really makes no difference for him. He really wants to be awake with me until he passes out. I am so exhausted of dealing with this issue for 19 months.  It's either let him stay awake with me and lay together watching TV until he passes out, or force him to sleep so that I feel worn out and awful twice a day. I am at a loss of what to do now. Sad

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Briana

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28-Sep-10 1:38 pm

 I used to try to get DD1 in bed around 8 or 8:30, but if she wasn't ready to go to sleep she would just whine and cry for HOURS. It's easier for me to just let her do her thing until she falls asleep. I will bathe her and put her in her room/bed around 9, but she doesn't always go to sleep then. She will watch a movie or play her game until she's asleep. As long as she's in her room, that's all that matters to me. If she's cranky and tired the next day she usually goes to sleep much earlier that night.

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28-Sep-10 1:44 pm

 The only thing I would suggest is buying a good book on sleep training - a book with an ethos you believe in.  For me, I don't believe in the 'cry it out method' and began 'sleep training' when DS was tiny.  Even though Xander is a lot older now, I don't think it is too late to start to try and establish healthy sleep habits- although it may take a bit longer.  I can certainly recommend the book "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg.  There is also a forum connected with the book where you can post your problems and some of the forum 'experts' will respond with advice. 

 



 

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28-Sep-10 1:47 pm

bbotkins:
I will bathe her and put her in her room/bed around 9, but she doesn't always go to sleep then. She will watch a movie or play her game until she's asleep.
 

Yikes, that is really late for her to be going to bed!  What time does she wake up?



 

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28-Sep-10 1:49 pm

 My boys are also night owls. They don't need a lot of sleep period. Never have. DS1 cannot have a nap and has not been able to have one since he was like one. He used to go to bed around 10/11 earliest but this was easier for me at the time as I was a student and tended to get up later. DS2 is also a funny wee chappy, only takes two minute naps during the day (he is 8 months) unless someone will hold him for a bit. He goes to bed around 9/10 but still feeds through the night like a newborn (man are my boobs tired). DS1 (three years old) now goes to bed for about 8.30 because he is getting up around 7.15 and otherwise he is tired. But it's still a no nap zone lmao! 

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28-Sep-10 1:53 pm

 all 3 of my kids go to bed around 9, but the oldest doesn't fall alseep till around 11.  She reads books or watchs a dvd on her little dvd player thing.  My kids are up at 9 the next morning.  They  have a late bed time because dh works late and I want them to see him.   I home school, so sleeping in late is fine here.

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Briana

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28-Sep-10 1:54 pm

Lillylolly"]

[quote user="bbotkins:

I will bathe her and put her in her room/bed around 9, but she doesn't always go to sleep then. She will watch a movie or play her game until she's asleep.[/quote] 

Yikes, that is really late for her to be going to bed!  What time does she wake up?

 

Well we usually don't even get home until 7:15 or later. She comes to work with me and I usually don't leave until after 7. So by the time I cook, feed everyone, let her play a bit and bathe her it's already close to 9. It would be earlier, but with my schedule it's impossible.

I wake her up at 8, 15 minutes before we leave. Get her dressed and ready and walk out the door.

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28-Sep-10 1:57 pm

bbotkins:
Well we usually don't even get home until 7:15 or later. She comes to work with me and I usually don't leave until after 7. So by the time I cook, feed everyone, let her play a bit and bathe her it's already close to 9. It would be earlier, but with my schedule it's impossible.

Oh, I see!



 

Tara

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29-Sep-10 7:28 am

Nope not for it... I can see on fri and sat staying up late but for school nights it'll be a set time..kids need structure I think if u start swaying on too many things u loose control of more things. Sleep is really important for kids. Even now at 10 months bed time is 730. She doesn't wanna sleep fine but she's not allowed out of her crib after 730 she can lay in there talk, cry whatever need be but no coming out to crawl or play. I'm very strict with bedtimes esp cause i consider that my time too and if i can't recharge and get a break I'm a total bitch the next day


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Sara

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29-Sep-10 7:55 am

I am not sure. I  think I prefer making the bedtime for them just for reasonable times and knowing how they handle mornings, how well they sleep and how tired they are from the day. Their really isn't much fuss at night except from the 2 sometimes because they are over tired sometimes and overly fussy. Sometimes they aren't tired at all, but heck..bedtime is bedtime here..they are lucky they get to watch tv for a bit during that time.

My oldests has a bed time of 9. The next 2 boys, 8. Jacob usually passes out before 10 (if he didn't have a late nap) and Cassie is down between 7-9. (later if she had a late nap, the earlier time if she has been up for a while).

When it is their bedtime, they go in their room and we read a book and then they watch tv. I put the volume really low to where in order to hear the tv, they have to be quiet. If they are loud, the alternative is me turning the tv off and then they go to bed period. They are usually asleep between 830-915ish. That is the 2 boys at least. AJ is usually trotting on to his bed by 845 on his own because he is so exhausted. He wakes up early some days like me. 

Brian takes until 7ish to wake up and they leave for school by 735-745 depending if they eat breakfast at school.

Kyle sleeps in until around 7-830a and we leave to take him at 9 for school.

Jacob will sleep in until 9 most days and Cassie..well, it just depends.

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Sara

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29-Sep-10 7:58 am

 

Tropical_coconut:
I can see on fri and sat staying up late but for school nights it'll be a set time..kids need structure I think if u start swaying on too many things u loose control of more things.
I agree. I have lost control in too many areas that I am struggling to get back..I need them to go to bed at decent  hours  and on the weekends, they are still tired by their regular bedtime most days. Sometimes they make it to 10-11p. I won't let them stay up later than that though..

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