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For those of you with more than 1 child. Was it harder to go from 0 to 1 or from 1 to 2 children?

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24-Jul-10 8:58 am

I ask this because even though I would like another, sometimes I think "what am I thinking??".

I hate the baby stage. The no communicating, the diapers, the taking forever to get ready to go out the house, dragging a baby out is no fun. The crying..ect. I know there are good parts to though.

My ds is 19 months and he is pure joy. I love him so much but sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and turn him into a 6 year old.

When I think about having another all I can think of, "I don't want to do it ALL-OVER-AGAIN".

But I think in 10 years if I don't have another, I will wish I did have another, especially for the fact that the baby stage doesn't last forever, but it sure seems like it does doesn't it?

I think part of the problem is that I am getting older, dh is almost 10 years older than me, and I have no family or friends to help me emotionally. I had ppd after ds was born and dh made it worse, I think he had pdd himself. I had no one. I am afriad of going through that again.

 

 

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24-Jul-10 9:10 am

 it was harder going to 2, but still not really hard for me in the retrospect of what I was already dealing with. The hardest part about two was the depression I was going through (still am sorta) and how difficult my 2 year old is... She was an easy baby, so when it was JUST her it was very easy- but as she started moving she's just gotten more and more difficult. DS is also easy, adding him to the mix so far hasn't been much of a battle except for my DD trying to sit on him all her usual buisness... but still, it's mostly just her being difficult. 


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24-Jul-10 9:11 am

I actually think its easier with 2.I have 2 DS and my first son use to crave my attention all the time but now he has a little brother he lets my get on with the house work.

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24-Jul-10 9:12 am

Don't be too scared. It all depends on the age difference and personalities of the specific kids. For me, I know 0-1 was HARD, as yeah...becoming a parent flips your world around. But in my case, 1-2 was the WORST. my oldest had severe jealousy issues (they are about 23 months apart). I mean, my oldest used to throw objects at my head and the baby while I breastfed. He'd hit, and try to push him as he became a toddler. Ran toy cars and trucks into him...the list goes on.

Going from 2-3 was not hard at all.

Today, my sons are playing w/ trains together on the floor and having a blast. The initial period in the beginning was TOUGH, but it passed. It always does, I think. Best of luck to you. I personally don't like the idea of an only child, and prefer bigger families, but that has a lot to do with how I was raised.

 

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24-Jul-10 2:02 pm

i think it depends on your personality and patience, i personally found it easy going from 0-1 and 1-2 it was thehardest going from 2-3 for me Happy Wink

i think a good age gap is about 2 yrs...then the toddler can "help" out with bathing baby, changing babies bum, helping with house work, believe me they love doing the hovering !!!

just make sure the toddler is involved and not left out and you will be fine....when the baby is born make sure anyone who buys the baby a pressy buys the toddler a pressy....etc....

i have never had any jelousy rivalary, just the pretend fighting and shooting !!!

have you got any toddler/baby groups that you can go to ...to make friends and get support??




 

 


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24-Jul-10 2:24 pm
Cinderella:

I ask this because even though I would like another, sometimes I think "what am I thinking??".

I hate the baby stage. The no communicating, the diapers, the taking forever to get ready to go out the house, dragging a baby out is no fun. The crying..ect. I know there are good parts to thoush.

My ds is 19 months and he is pure joy. I love him so much but sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and turn him into a 6 year old.

When I think about having another all I can think of, "I don't want to do it ALL-OVER-AGAIN".

But I think in 10 years if I don't have another, I will wish I did have another, especially for the fact that the baby stage doesn't last forever, but it sure seems like it does doesn't it?

I think part of the problem is that I am getting older, dh is almost 10 years older than me, and I have no family or friends to help me emotionally. I had ppd after ds was born and dh made it worse, I think he had pdd himself. I had no one. I am afriad of going through that again.

 

 

This is what I went through between #1 and #2. It was harder going into #2 because I knew EXACTLY what a newborn entailed. Going into #3 was a breeze but I'm going through it again with #4. My oldest is 8 my youngest is completely out of diapers, some days I wonder what the world am I thinking lol

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24-Jul-10 2:42 pm

0-1 was hands down, no question.. much much much harder than 1-2 for me. :)

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24-Jul-10 2:54 pm
I think going from 1-2 was easier for me. I also had ppdd after ds1, and I was totally new to taking care of a newborn, which made it very difficult. I had "baby blues" after ds2, I guess, but it was not nearly as bad as after ds1. I think it was easier because ds1 was a birth surprise but I was hoping for a girl, and I had a very hard time dealing with him being a boy. I found out that ds2 was a boy, so I was prepared for it. I also stepped down my anti-depressants (with the guidance of my psychiatrist) so I could step them back up after the birth. Also, I knew what I was doing and wasn't so stressed out about everything. Another thing was that I had trouble bfing ds1 and gave up on it, but it worked out well with ds2. I realize a lot of these things are personal issues, and may not relate to you, but overall, I felt the transition was easier because I was more experienced and relaxed. Also, I would recommend a 3 year age difference, because you are not completely out of the baby stage that it's so hard to get back into it, but the older child is moderately self-sufficient.

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24-Jul-10 3:05 pm
Definitely from 1 to 2. I was so used to having a routine that only involved one, to being able to stop him when he got into stuff, etc. Adding another baby totally threw everything off. Their schedules are so different, and it was frustrating trying to pump/BF with DS1 getting into everything and making huge messes. It was also SO much harder to go anywhere with two than it was with just one. That being said, it got better over time. The first three months were hell, 6 months were rough, and now that we are reaching a year things are starting to settle down. They are actually starting to play together, and that has made things a lot easier.

 

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24-Jul-10 3:18 pm

From one to two was hardest. Two to three was easy for me.

 

charlotte

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24-Jul-10 3:28 pm

0-1 was much harder for me than 1-2 seriously I didn't want anymore for a while after ds he was a fantastic baby but as soon as he hit 2 he was a nightmare now we have a 2 month old dd and I am loving every minute of it I actually can't wait to have more (not til she is 3 thoughHappy Wink) its soooooooooo much easier 2nd time round she just fits right in Happy Smile and my ds adores her and is fantastic with her as well xx

 

 

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24-Jul-10 3:37 pm

 I think going from 1-2 was the hardest.  0 to 1 was a complete lifestyle change but with me and DH to switch off and only having to focus on DS, it wasn't that "hard"--definitely different and adjustment was necessary.  1 to 2 really rocked my world even though #2 was the easiest baby/kid on the planet.  It was hard emotionally b/c I had focused on this other little person exclusively and now their needs had to be compromised sometimes when #2 needs something urgently (screaming and needs food or whatever).  Also, I lost a lot of me time as when we switched off before, now it was 1 parent and 1 kid or 1 parent (me) and 2 kids.  Going from 2 to 3 was cake (except for the no sleeping again thing) as I was used to juggling and multitasking and triaging everyone.  Also DS2 was a little older when DD came along.  But older kids come with a more demanding school/homework/activity/playdate schedule.  So, I guess I'd say except for the return to no sleep, it's not that bad.  Guess not, I'm going for 4.

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24-Jul-10 3:39 pm

 0-1 was harder for me for the 1st year. 1-2 was hardest for about the first 3 months. Now with a 2  1/2 year old and a 6 months old I'm getting the hang of it and its not that bad at all.

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25-Jul-10 12:01 am
Going to 2 kids has been very easy, but my baby is seriously easy and never cries. I mean never ever cries and is a pure joy. I can shop with her, try on clothes, go to any restaurant and she is happy as can be. But my son was a nightmare baby and I hated life the first year. He never slept, cried all the time and was just so hard. So for me having the first was way way way harder. I think a lot depends on the temperment of the child.

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25-Jul-10 12:06 am

going to 2 was trickier not so much harder you know what to do now its just learning new skills to juggle 2 children at the same time 2 needs 2 wants 2 sets of everything once you have that 2 is great they play together keep each other company and its the best to watch them giggle with each other your not crazy i say go for it Happy Wink

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