So you have 3 boys and now a girl? How are your boys? I am expecting my 3rd one and sorry to say but hate every moment of it including the baby. One of the feelings that I experience is being completely scarred that our family will still be as harmonious as it currently is. How will the family dynamics change? How was it for you with your 3 boys, did you feel overwhelmed that you didn't have time to handle them all? Sorry this is perhaps not the best time to ask you these questions considering you just gave birth.... Do you honestly feel happy with your little ones? I know people will always say “kids are a blessing” and all of that, but I really want a pure, honest response – are you still disappointed in having a 3rd boy or is the love you feel for him greater than the disappointment that every bad feeling gets automatically erased? I don’t know, I doubt this. Is just this pregnancy for me that makes me think that I will always hate him and always regret that I became pregnant? I have also heard women being so depressed of their newborn that it lasted for years after their birth. I don’t want to be that way.
I was devastated when i thought was my 'last attempt' for a girl resulted in my 20 week scan being told it was my 3rd boy, I cried for days. I tried to tell myself that i should be happy that i have ANY kids so tried to find peace. It hurt me whenever i saw a baby girl, during AND after the pregnancy, and thought i'd be like that forever. Then I had boy number 3 and i swear that god made him extra gorgeous cos he knew i was having trouble getting my head round the idea, he is now 4 and he is the sweetest most loving and most gorgeous little boy, my little angel, he is 4 and i'm still waiting for him to go through the terrible twos. he is my darling.
I found myself sobbing in Asda one day when my youngest was 3, cos i'd seen a very newborn baby girl, i was shocked at this raw reaction after a few years, a few weeks later i found out i was preg, we thought we'd done, i didn't wan't any more as i was frightened if i tried i'd get another boy and couldn't handle the disappointment again. After a couple of weeks of crying and coming to terms with baby number 4 i decided that it had happened for a reason and this time i was going to get my girl. I had an amnio at 16 weeks and was told over the phone that i was having a girl, i sobbed down the phone to the midwife. I still get shivers down my spine when i think of that call, i never thought i'd ever be the one with a girl. She was born on Halloween, so she is 7 months now and i still look at her every day feeling blessed.
I want all of you out there to realise it CAN happen to you and it DOES happen for people with 2, 3, 4 boys...even without trying...sometimes it's just meant to be.