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Embarrased when asked "how many kids to you have?"

Swaying worked for us!

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Joined 22-Oct-09

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5-May-10 12:54 am

So I feel like a HORRIBLE mom. Iam 24 right now....25 in August. I have 3 kids 3 and under. Crazy eh? lol. To make things worse I look REALLLY young. I mean I look like Iam about 18 or 19. I had my DD on my 21st b-day...then DS1 at 22 and DS2 a few weeks ago at 24. As Iam pushing DS2 through stores I get all the oooos and awwws over him and then the magical question comes up, "he is your first!?" 90% of the time I says, "no my 3rd. I have a girl and boy at home." then I get "the look" almost like "wow...cant you find something better to do with your time then procreate?!" i hate it. It makes me embassased that ppl think I have sex all the time....or even that iam young that iam possibly unmarried and have different dads. I AM married...and they ALL have the same dad. Not only that I can afford to have my kids. A few times I have lied and said, "yes hes my 1st!" or just admitted to 2 kids. Again, most of the time I tell the truth...but I just hate that look.

 Any other young moms get judged like this?

HeartsIt started with a kiss, and ended up like this...

Baby Boy(36)+Baby Girl(25) = Baby Girl(4), Baby Boy (2), Baby Boy ( 1), and Baby Boy born 3-11-11

Good Luck Clover Luck was on my side, both sways for boys worked! Good Luck Clover

HeartYes, Iam a proud boy mom who would gladly have 50 boys! Heart

 

Posts: 1,207

Joined 26-Nov-07

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5-May-10 12:59 am
If I were you I would just feel really proud. You sound like a lovely person and a great Mum. I didn't start having children until I was 30 but I am always extremely proud to say that I have 4 wonderful children. In fact if I had started having them at your age I would have loved to have had at least 2 more.

If you hold your head up high and say "I have 3 lovely children and I am very, very happy" then hopefully you won't get anyone else giving you negative comments.

Julie

Baby Girl Age 13  Baby Boy Age 11 Baby Boy Angel lost at 15 weeks Baby Boy Age 7 Baby Girl Age4

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Joined 23-Aug-06

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5-May-10 1:14 am

 i had 4 by the time i was 24 and also looked incredibly young, one time i was in a taxi with my mum, i had 2 kids at tis stage, and the taxi driver piped up with " got the day off school eh?" lol

i just said yeah....better than the shocked look/remarks!

so now i get comments on how many children i have!!Happy LMAO i still cringe when someone asks how many children i have...i know whats coming next...

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Joined 25-Jan-10

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5-May-10 1:16 am

I CAN COMPLETELY RELATE.  I had my first at 23 second at 25 and third at 27 (now I'm 29), so not quite so young as you but I am always asked why I had my kids so young.... I look like I'm about 18-19. I work part time and at first everyone thought I was just finished school! Then they found out I have 3 kids and thats when the looks started.

I am constantly saying I'm alot older than I look... I tell them I'm nearly 30 and that I'll be loving it when I'm 50 coz I'll look 30 finally!

I love my family more than anything and my age has nothing to do with that. You should be proud to be a young mum. At least we'll be around (and still capable) to run and play with our grand children when they come.

Its a pain but its life (never be ashamed) and some people are born to be mums no matter what age. Well done for finding your dreams before its too late to chase them.

Happy Wink


Baby Boy7 Baby Boy5 Baby Boy3... and Baby Girl due Oct 31st 2011

All pink guesses on nub @ 12weeks... Confirmed pink 16+6... 19+5...  29+2...and 30+4... Hearts

Phoenix

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Joined 11-Feb-09

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5-May-10 1:23 am

OMG I would snapped out. Why is it any of their business how many kids u have? You take care of them, whats it to them? You shouldnt be ashamed, my kids are spaced out in age but I wish they were close in age like yours.

TTC BOY#2

Baby Bear Girl , Baby Bear Girl , Baby Bear Girl and  Baby Bear Boy  - Thank you GOD and IG

My Sway with ds#1

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/160053.aspx

 

 

Woo1324

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Joined 31-Jan-10

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5-May-10 1:42 am

I know the situation me and my now husband were both in high school when we found out i was pregnant i was just 18 we both kept studying and i had my first little boy at the end of our final year ,,,

DH then went on to uni or in America they call it college and got his degree and while he was studying for his degree the uni were so impressed with him  that they gave him a full time job as the networks specialist for the uni so we were set he was just 19 ,,,, we were financially secure and very much a happy loving family so decided to give ds1 a little brother or sister  ds2 was  born when i was 22 ,,,,, now I'm 24 and expecting number 3 , we bought our first house last year and are living like any normal family would my kids have everything they need we aren't some "breeders" or irresponsible people we are a regular hard working tax paying family ,,, just a little younger than the norm but i think that shows just how hard we have worked

BUT....... we still get looked at because of our age as under achievers as irresponsible people who blindly have children,,,, people often give us that look of disgust when they notice our age , we often get the comments how many more kids are you planning to have with that judgmental tone or older mums at the school will try to act like they are better more wealthy etc just because they are older little do they know in allot of cases our family is financially better off then theres I'm so sick of being judged by a number

allot of times i think their nastiness comes from jealousy i think it makes them feel uncomfortable to see a young woman succeeding at something they didn't think they would be able to handle at the same age and/or sometimes they are not doing so well in their on lives and seeing somebody younger not struggling makes them insecure and allot of people also need to look down on someone in order to feel good

lol RANT OVER

HeartsBaby Bear Boy 7 Baby Bear Boy 3    Baby Bear Girl 1

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Joined 17-Feb-10

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5-May-10 2:04 am

by december this year i will have 5 children 5yrs and under i will be 23yrs old

mine are also with the same father and i used to fell embarrased.

i dont waste my energy now........i no in my heart my children are well cared for and happy so i really dont care what people think of it.

Baby Girl2005Baby Girl2006Baby Girl2008Baby Girl2009Baby Boy2010 and another boy completed our family in 2013

Swaying worked for us!

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Joined 22-Oct-09

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5-May-10 2:15 pm

Thanks guys! You're right about the "at least we'll be young enough to enjoy our grandkids and chase everyone around." It does take ALOT of enegry...enegry I honestly dont know i would have at 35+. To make matters worse DH is 12 years older then me and looks a little older then that (hes 36) because hes losing his hair (shhhh he thinks I havent noticed! Happy ROFL). This one lady at Wal Mart was telling me my kids had big beautiful blue eys...but she said "They look JUST LIKE your dad!" My Hubby turns around soooo fast! I laughed and said "no hes my husband...but i dont blame you, i look young" DH was so offended but didnt say anything, lol. I guess she assumed I was his kid from maybe a high school "oops" and then my kids were my siblings?! I dunno....I can only imagine what people think in their heads and dont say.

HeartsIt started with a kiss, and ended up like this...

Baby Boy(36)+Baby Girl(25) = Baby Girl(4), Baby Boy (2), Baby Boy ( 1), and Baby Boy born 3-11-11

Good Luck Clover Luck was on my side, both sways for boys worked! Good Luck Clover

HeartYes, Iam a proud boy mom who would gladly have 50 boys! Heart

kayla

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Joined 23-Oct-06

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5-May-10 2:19 pm

 I'm 29 with 5, I get it ALL the time!!! I also look really young, and I always get "these aren't all your's are they?"

 Yes they're all mine...and it's usually followed by "do they all have the same dad?" 

 My answer to that one depends on my mood. They all do have the same dad, but sometimes if I'm pissy I'll say they all have a different Father and walk away!!

Mom toBaby GirlBaby GirlBaby Girland Baby BoyBaby Boy ( 2 succuessful sways)

Baby Girl in November 2010

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Joined 9-Dec-08

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5-May-10 2:22 pm

 I can totally relate, as I also had three kids before I was 25. I have heard it all...My favorite was when people would say "Oh, you must be the baby sitter", and the look on their faces when I would correct themDoh! The stigma of young mothers is really upsetting for those that it does not apply to. I may have passed that stage, but now I get (not often, thankfully), weird looks and comments at my large family, and even more so when I tell people that we aren't done. It's hard, but the only thing you can really do is hold your head up and be proud. You should never feel ashamed because of the actions or words of others. It's their problem, not yours.

Baby Boy '00 Baby Boy '02 Baby Boy '04 Baby Girl '06 Baby Boy '09 UC Baby Girl '12 UC 12/13 Due 4/15


"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life." ~ Winston Churchill

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches." ~ Andy Warhol



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Joined 17-Feb-10

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5-May-10 2:36 pm

I HATE how young i look. ok I guess i am young at 22 (just turned 22 end of april!) But i always feel like im getting judged on it. Me and my OH planned this 2nd baby (1st was a suprise!!) and when we told family some of them didnt seem happy for us or even congratulate us. We got afew "god you must be mad having another so soon" and it really upset me. People treat me like a child too sometimes and that really winds me up. I reacon if i was in my late 20's people wouldnt say half the stuff they say to me Sad We can afford our babies. We have a good income, support ourselves with no help and i dont mean to sound big headed but im a brilliant mum, My daughter has everything she needs and more! Yes i may be 22 but im very mature, i know what i want in life and that is my perfect family and my 2 perfect girls! I wouldnt change my life for anything! Sorry im rambling on now! I just wish i had the same respect no matter what my age! It's none of their buisness how old i am when i have my kids! As long as i can love them and give them everything they need then who gives a....!!!!!! I'll shut up now lol!!!!

 
 

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Joined 23-Jan-07

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5-May-10 2:43 pm

I'm sorry ppl make you feel not so great about having 3 children.  I love the looks I get from ppl when they know how old I am and I tell them I have 4 kids!  I had 3 when I was 27 (ppl usually think I'm under 25).  my MIL is about the only one who thinks I'm wonderful for having so many kids....I'm helping the population in her opinion. 

      

     Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.

me if you can!

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Joined 9-Aug-09

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5-May-10 2:45 pm

I think it's awesome you have 3 kids at 24.  Ihad my Ds at 23 and I would love to have 1 or 2 more by now.  There's no magical age, you sound like a good mom and that's all that matters!  Congrats on your new baby!

Heartbroken - 8.5 weeks 2006, Baby Boy - 2007, Baby Boy - 2012 2+ years of TTC, but you were worth the wait!

Counting my blessings:-)

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Joined 15-Dec-09

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5-May-10 2:54 pm

People are SO RUDE!!!  They are probably jealous???!!! Ignore them and be proud to be a young momHappy  LOL

I wish I would have started having children young,  DF and I didn't have ds1 until I was 32years old and had ds2 when I was 35years old.  Now we are racing the clock to have 2 more chldren in order to have the 4 children we have always wanted. 

 

Baby Boy(2/2005)Baby Boy(5/2008)Baby Boy(5/2011) (Dr pressured me into tubal during csectSad Flower)

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15-May-10 5:57 pm
I've been with my husband since I was 14 and I got pregnant and had my first son at 17 and I will be going on my 5th child this October. My oldest will only be 7. I do hate the comments from my OB and others but I am just happy to have my kids now.

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