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Is this normal boy play?

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10-Mar-10 4:05 pm

We have these two neighbor boys  ( five yrs and three yrs) that want to play fight club with my boys. The two older boys beat the crap out of each other and the two other boys vote who the winner is. I just caught them doing this today. It seemed weird for boys that age to do something like this. My boys don't do this and I am a little upset that these kids are their friends . They have done other things , such as killing frogs in our pond and my little guy joined in one day to impress these boys.

I honestly have no behavior issues with my boys . THey are super well behaved and nice. Calm, respectful. I sometimes don't get the boy bashing posts on here- until now. These boys are horrid. Or are they normal?  Did I just luck out with really calm , nice boys and I just don't get other types of boys?

I do know if these were my boys ,I wouldn't just have GD,  I'd throw myself off a cliff

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11-Mar-10 9:34 pm

Someone (their parents) must let these boys play like this, so it is accepted as "normal" to them.  It is not healthy IMO.  You should probably make a point of telling your kids in front of their rambunctions friends that you do not fight each other in your family.  Suggest some wholesome activities they can do instead and get them going on their choice.  At least your neighbor boys will be exposed to alternative activities that are not hurtful or mean, and they will eventually learn that just because they are allowed to "play" like that at their home, it is not acceptable in other environments. 

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11-Mar-10 9:44 pm

Wow, it sounds like those boys have been exposed to some pretty inappropriate stuff. I don't think that is normal play for boys that age. My boys do like to wrestle with each other, but it's more rolling around on the floor laughing than it is beating the crap out of each other. I agree that it would be good to tell your boys that they are not allowed to play that game and give them some peaceful alternatives.

Melpomene:
I do know if these were my boys ,I wouldn't just have GD,  I'd throw myself off a cliff
I am quite sure that those boys would not be like that if they were yours. You are not the kind of mom who raises boys to be that way.

 

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11-Mar-10 9:51 pm
Totally not normal!

 

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11-Mar-10 9:55 pm

Um, is this the same boy you wrote about a while ago who practically lives at your house and whose mom doesn't feed him?

I'm thinking these neighbors of yours have some "issues." 

Doesn't sound too normal to me.

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11-Mar-10 9:55 pm

Mom2RJA:
Wow, it sounds like those boys have been exposed to some pretty inappropriate stuff. I don't think that is normal play for boys that age. My boys do like to wrestle with each other, but it's more rolling around on the floor laughing than it is beating the crap out of each other. I agree that it would be good to tell your boys that they are not allowed to play that game and give them some peaceful alternatives
 

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12-Mar-10 5:21 pm

dosent sound normal "boy" behaviour to me

My boys also love a good play fight but not to the point they are beating the crap out of each other and they never hurt living things infact they collect frogs and snails and make little homes for them lol

My Ds3 has a friend at school like that though and he is always being told off for something and I have asked my Ds3 if he can try and not get involved with the things this other boy does as they arent always nice things but its hard because I dont want to fall out with the boys mum or choose my sons friends but its just not the sort of thing I want mine doing

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12-Mar-10 5:25 pm

 I agree, NOT normal. My boys wrestle, and sometimes it can get out of hand, but they never intentionally hurt each other like that. And the frog killing is very disturbing. That is often the precursor to some really bad things. I would not allow your boys around these boys again. At allWorried

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12-Mar-10 5:45 pm

not normal, IMO.  I would die if my boys did this (or killed frogs!)

      

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17-Mar-10 4:56 pm

BeebsNBubbs:

Um, is this the same boy you wrote about a while ago who practically lives at your house and whose mom doesn't feed him?

I'm thinking these neighbors of yours have some "issues." 

Doesn't sound too normal to me.

Yes , same boys. They are the same ones who kill frogs in our pond if any of your read that post.

They drive me nuts. The icing on the cake is that they kept their grandma in the basement. Now that she is gone (not sure what happened to the poor woman) they have a game room down there and they want my kids to play over there all the time. Totally unsupervised of course. I think I will have a nervous breakdown. My boys will also hate me for not allowing it.  

Heartbroken More than I care to think about due to blood clotting disorder.

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Baby BoyHeartbroken TBM failure . What a miserable experience!

And two Microsort failures . But at least we went to DIsneyland. Woo HooAngry

"For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world, and although ambitions well worth having, they are not cheaply won."  Lucy Maud Montgomery

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17-Mar-10 4:59 pm

ANd , yes boy boys do wrestle , sort of play fight. But this is like an organized beat until blood sort of thing. I heard the little boy explaning the game and it sounded like the movie fight club. Were they are suppose to give it all they had with an audience present who would vote the winner.

Very disturbing.

Heartbroken More than I care to think about due to blood clotting disorder.

Baby Boy,Baby Boy

Baby BoyHeartbroken TBM failure . What a miserable experience!

And two Microsort failures . But at least we went to DIsneyland. Woo HooAngry

"For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world, and although ambitions well worth having, they are not cheaply won."  Lucy Maud Montgomery

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17-Mar-10 5:03 pm

 No totally not normal IMO. Like others said, my boys like to wrestle each other but it's always in a fun way and never with the intention of hurting each other. Killing animals like this is not a good sign either.

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17-Mar-10 6:48 pm

 Hurting living creatures, even frogs, sounds like a sign of abuse to me.  If my son did this I would be deeply distrubed.  I do remember play fighting (like child version of karate/wrestling) when I was little.  I enjoyed being ultra rough with the boys to prove myself.  Never to a bloody pulp or anything.... not sure if it was normal or not.  I did end up being a wrestler in high school on a boy's team, so I think it was more about being tough. What a sad situation.

 

 

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18-Mar-10 6:42 am

I agree with everyone else.

My boys do sometimes have a little scuffle if they fall out but if one gets hurt by accident the other one cant appologise enough and feels so bad about it they end up crying more than the ds that got hurt. I cant imagine a child wanting to hurt anyone on purpose let alone there own brother.

As for the frog killing that is not right and im sure that is a major sign that there is some kind of mental/physical abuse going on in there family. If my ds's found a frog they would want to keep it as a pet and prob run around trying to catch flys for its dinner lol

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18-Mar-10 7:09 am

Ummm, yikes! Tongue Tied Wrestle, play rough, normalAgree - organise a game where you beat the crap out of each other or go kill frogs etc, not normal...Tongue TiedWorriedTongue Tied

I honestly would not let your boys play with them, alone, unsupervised, in their basement (or anywhere else). If they really insist on playing with these kids then I would make conditions that they play at your house or where you can see them (ie on front lawn or something).

Melpomene:
Very disturbing.
 

Very. Scary too.

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