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Do you think this is young?

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3-Mar-10 2:02 pm
There is a new mom in our moms club and she kept going on and on about how hard it is being a young mom and how her friends dont come around as much because she was so young when she had her baby and they still party. Then she sent us an email complaining about being a young mom and the struggles... but she is 31 and her dh is 34! Do you think that is a young first time mom? I actually consider that an older first time mom... I was barely 23 and so was dh when we had our first and I never complained we were young. What is young to you? Not 31 right?

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3-Mar-10 2:11 pm

No, I don't consider 31 to be a "young mom" but I wouldn't call it an "older mom" either.  I think it's pretty average for a first time mom (at least in the area I live).  I was 30 when I had my first and at that time most of my friends were just in the process of getting married, a few already had a baby.  Nobody was out partying all the time at that age- seems a bit immature IMO.

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3-Mar-10 2:12 pm

 Hi there, maybe in her circle of friends this is considered young? but no, in general, 31 to have your first baby is OLDER than the average age of having your first. 

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3-Mar-10 2:13 pm
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3-Mar-10 2:14 pm
I'm not a member of this group, but the post caught my attention. 31 is certainly not young. It's bordering "late bloomer" as a first time mom. Young to me is under 23. My 19 year old sister with her first - that's young. Me at 30 with my first - well... I was busy in my 20's. :P

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3-Mar-10 2:14 pm
Where I live ( Northern Ca in the city} lots of women are very early 20s to mid 20s when they have their first and 31 is considered on the older side. And the funny thing is she was complaining to us and we were all young 20s when we had our first so we were looking at her kind of oddly. And at 31 and still partying that is ridiculous IMO. I would never want to be the old lady at the bar that all the young people laugh at.

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3-Mar-10 2:22 pm

zarappotimus:

 Hi there, maybe in her circle of friends this is considered young? but no, in general, 31 to have your first baby is OLDER than the average age of having your first. 

 

I agree.  IMO 31 is not young to be having your first. I would say under 24 is young. 24-34 would be average and over 34 would be above average. 

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3-Mar-10 2:26 pm
BananaPants"]

[quote user="Serenity:

There is a new mom in our moms club and she kept going on and on about how hard it is being a young mom and how her friends dont come around as much because she was so young when she had her baby and they still party. Then she sent us an email complaining about being a young mom and the struggles... but she is 31 and her dh is 34! Do you think that is a young first time mom? I actually consider that an older first time mom... I was barely 23 and so was dh when we had our first and I never complained we were young. What is young to you? Not 31 right?[/quote]

 

Totally not young.  Obviously she's mistaking immature for young as well, because I was 19 when I had DS and guess what...partying took a backseat.  Like it should with any responsible, mature parent.  I have old friends that went on to have children early and got them taken away for partying and drinking and ingeneral not taking care of them.  That had nothing to do with age, and its a very very annoying stereotype.

SIL is like this.  She goes on and on about how hard it is to be a single young mom, and she can't go out with her friends, and she can't get a decent job because she has to get these hours, and she cant afford to pay a babysitter and her mom needs to help her with this and this and this and grandma has to buy her a house.  IL's indulge this behavior by saying 'oh we need to help her, we promised to help her with anything and everything, we watch her kid 12 hours a day for free and keep him over night so he doesn't have to get up early...."  the woman is 34 ok.  She is not a 15 year old trying to get her education. She has a degree.  She went to university TWICE.  Bothers me to no end when they compare how 'hard' it is for her to how 'easy' it was for me.  It wasn't easy, I worked my ass off, I went to school while having a one year old at home, and I did it myself.  Sure I met DH and that did make things financially easier, but I was a single mother for 2 years.  We moved in with each other when DS was 6 months old, that didnt mean I stopped being a single mother, it just meant I had a roommate.  It took a very very long time for our parenting responsibilities to be even remotely close to equal.

So my verdict: no.  Immature maybe, but not young.  Young does not equal having a hard time with responsibility.

Bananapants you sound very responsible for having a baby at 19. I wasnt as young as you but I was 22 and from the day I got pregnant until the present my life changed in that I no longer partied, was at home all the time and just became mommy. I love being a younger mom. But this lady annoyed me about complaining about being so young when she is 31 with her first. She acted like its so much harder for her then any of us and we all became moms at 21-25. I think she is just kind of weird though.

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3-Mar-10 4:10 pm

I'm 31 so I'm gonna have to say no, it's not "old", but I guess it's not a young 1st time mom.

      

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3-Mar-10 4:11 pm
I dont think the age 31 is old, just for a first time mom it is on the older side where I live.

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3-Mar-10 4:23 pm

i dont think thats at all young i had my first when i was 18...im only 22 now and i dont miss partying at all so much more thrilling to see your child crawl or walk or read a book to you i think

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3-Mar-10 4:34 pm

 I agree with a PP that it's not young, 16-24 might be 'young' and average to me is 25-34ish. Anything above that might be considered an older first time mom (don't confuse that with being OLD, but an older age to begin parenting from what I've seen). Like some of the others- I was barely 17 when I gave birth to my daughter and I'll be a few weeks from 19 when I give birth to my son. I don't miss any of the party or drinking or stuff- but I never liked it prior to becoming a mom, so maybe that's why. Stick out tongue


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3-Mar-10 5:10 pm

 I am lurking....so I think that shows I don't consider MYSELF a young mama and I am going to be 28..I would say new mama..not young mama.

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3-Mar-10 5:13 pm

Heck yeah, it's young!!! (just kidding - I'm 31 lol)

I had my first 2 at 20 and 21 and that was young.  Ava I had at 31 and that was a lot harder pregnancy - felt old for sure when I was in pain my whole pregnancy.  But yeah I agree that below 23 is young and over 30 is "older" to have a first baby. 

My ex is "that creepy old man guy" at the bar at 31.  He doesn't have kids yet but I could not imagine hitting the bars at this age. I feel too old.

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3-Mar-10 5:31 pm
I would say that 31 is an OLD mom! I was 18 when i had my first child and am now 30 having my 5th child. I guess it's just personal opinions and also where someone grows up. There are benefits to being young and having children as well as not starting until later in life! =)

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