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I remember feeling this way when my dh and I were much younger. We were in our mid twenties with two kids and no money! We were still renting and it made me sick!
But I have learned those people DON'T have perfect lives. Some flaunt like they do and others are discreet, but NO ONE has perfection. It may feel like it and seem like it, but they don't. Comparison...
30 Mar 2010 1:17 PM
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You guys are GREAT! I know negative comments are made about other announcements, but I promise, I believe people (especially women) feel free to let loose on pregnancy announcements. Yes, I do think they are made out of envy. Most of these comments have come from women I know for sure are PRO life...just like me. Their comments don't sound very life-loving do they? I wonder...
28 Mar 2010 7:52 PM
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You know you say "We're going to Disney!" and you get "Awesome!" or "That is great!" or "You will have a blast."
You say "My oldest is graduating college!" and you get "Congratulations!" "You must be so proud!" or "you guys did a great job!"
You announce your wedding anniversary and you get "You guys are such an inspiration!" or "WoW How wonderfu!"
You announce your fifth child and you get...
28 Mar 2010 3:51 PM
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I'm so sorry to EVERY woman who is grieving over their aborted child. My heart truly goes out to you. I just wanted to say that there are groups where you can meet with other women who have had the same experience and get some closure. Or, there are groups available online. rachelsvineyard.org comes to mind and they are completely confidential and loving!
To Sa...
28 Mar 2010 3:40 PM
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Please understand that some of us here want to provide information that the op may not have. Abortions are NEVER completely safe no matter how they are performed. All carry the risk of increased breast cancer, ovarian cancer, infertility, peforated uterus, etc...these are all risks for the mother.
No matter how much we try to sanitize it or what the decision is, it is a gruesom...
17 Mar 2010 1:17 AM
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I know how you feel, but if you're built like me, uh no:) Plus, my teenage daughter figured out I was pregnant pretty quick. I had no energy, sick all of the time, and acting weird...so asking her to wait three months to tell anyone was difficult enough.
Sorry your parents make unintentional hurtful comments. That stinks the worst. My sisters are the worst in my fam...
16 Mar 2010 2:31 AM
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My little"i",
Since you've been down the termination road before and will go through counselling again for that and are seeking advice, can I ask you if you would be willing to get advice from the other side?
This seems to be a mostly financial consideration for you to have this baby. I had a very big OOPS baby when I was young and so have lots of others in dire financial conditions...
15 Mar 2010 2:27 PM
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Yep, I have several I have to hide from my news feed. MY sister for one ( I have four and this is the only one who does this). She knows my beliefs and political persuasion are opposite of hers, but she def. tries to post stuff to rile me. Funny thing is she doesn't consider herself religious yet often preaches "tolerance" to all of us, yet she has NONE when it comes to things sh...
14 Mar 2010 4:13 PM
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Ehhh... you're not a bitter person[:-)] And I wanted you to know that even though your friend seems to think that the Bible gives specifics on the size of someone's family...it doesn't. I know there are those who point to one portion of a verse in Proverbs to prove their philosophy about having their "quiver full" of children, but there is no specific mentioned on just how many a quive...
14 Mar 2010 4:04 PM
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I understand, Trixiebug. I WANTED to go out immediately with all of the others and my teenage daughter and I just could not wait to hear "Its a girl" at the US because we were going to go out that afternoon. Now, there is just NO desire. I will buy some neutral gowns I saw at Kohls online. Those were cute. It IS easier to shop online.
I wanted to explain my te...
14 Mar 2010 1:54 PM
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Wow Flowerpower! Even your midwife made a comment? I'm pretty startled by that. I used to just laugh those things off in my twenties and thirties, but at my age now, I no longer feel the need to let those judgement comments float without a well-timed retort. The way I see it, those comments are a slight attack at something that is NOT the other person's business. I wi...
14 Mar 2010 1:43 PM
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SMART idea. I'm glad this worked out for you and yes, it did take a TON of courage on your part.
Blessings Sunbeam!
13 Mar 2010 3:11 PM
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I guess I know now what I had never known before...you don't CHOOSE to have GD. If I could choose to be thrilled with pregnancy, I would! So, this counselor really needs to understand that. Why is it a sin to be honest? Hmm. You know, Hannah in I Samuel in the Bible prayed EARNESTLY for a son. She didn't just pray for a baby. She was specific and NOT ...
13 Mar 2010 3:08 PM
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To the hospital for me:) I have just enough scary things happen every time to warrent hospital births...plummeting infant heart rate; miconeum in my water after they break it; extra amniotic fluid; extra long and hard labors; cord wrapped aound neck...so yeah...plus, I'm having my tubes tied...
How do they do this if you don't have a c-section?
13 Mar 2010 5:11 AM
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I always carry high though. Don't know if it is because I also carry extra amniotic fluid or not, but yes...very uncomfortable. Much prefer carrying low, but I only had one pregnancy in the last trimester where things were a little low.
13 Mar 2010 5:04 AM
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Thank you hotdogplease! You have given some WONDERFUL suggestions! I don't get much computer time, sadly. But this site has helped so much. I'm going to try some of your ideas. I know you are right about even though we want opposites, the sad feelings are the same.
Knowing I'm not going through this alone def. helps!
13 Mar 2010 4:40 AM
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I think I'd have to reply to EVERY one of those messages with something like this:
"I'm sure your two beautiful princesses are helping out with their baby brother."
"Your little guy is sure lucky to have two such beautiful sisters!"
"Awe...I'd love to read what your two sweet girls say about him! Let us know!"
But then again, I'm old and snarky like that.
12 Mar 2010 7:54 PM
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We gave everything away after our last child but now we have our surprise boy baby coming. This is our fourth boy and fifth child. I know technically you are supposed to only get a shower for the first baby, but somewhere someone threw that out the window a long time ago.
My daughter is 17 and was going to initially throw me a shower, but that was when we were sure I was having a girl...
12 Mar 2010 7:44 PM
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I agree with above poster. Saying the girls are sick will only by you a little bit of time and they do seem persistent. They are both being uncaring and insensitive and I really think you should just tell them how you feel. It is the only way to assure they understand exactly what you mean and not have to keep having this wound opened up every day.
12 Mar 2010 7:18 PM
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How often, if ever, does this happen? I wish I could post my shots. This ultrasound was done at a diagnostic center to look for abnormalities. The tech said she was thinking boy and couldn't be 100%.
Just wanting to know the probability of her being wrong. Yes, I'm very unhappy because I wanted a girl soooooooo very much.
12 Mar 2010 4:15 PM
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I don't know if your mom and cousin are under some kind of delusion that the more you're involved with this baby boy's life, the quicker you'll "recover" from losing you sweet son or what they are thinking...but honestly, I think it is time for you to explain to them that you are still grieving and even though you don't "need" the carseat anymore and are glad your cousin could use it, seeing her i...
12 Mar 2010 4:00 PM
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Well, we are in the same boat, but I tell ya, I don't think forcing yourself to pretend you're not sad will help. I think it is ok to be sad and to admit it and to go ahead and cry. I sure have been and I'm not ready to let go. Maybe this is why God created us to remember almost nothing during our infancy...so we could be resilient later.
12 Mar 2010 5:31 AM
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Trixiebug, you're so right...it just isn't about the gender. This will be our fifth child. I have had comments "don't you know what causes this?" To which I answer "Oh, yes. We're quite good at it."
My sister-in-law has ONE child and didn't want anymore. That daughter is now 27 and does NOT want kids (although animals are her top priority). Every t...
12 Mar 2010 4:46 AM
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Thank you guys so much for your support. It just was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Most of those comments were from relatives both to me and to my niece. I just noticed that my niece received four times the comments and not one of them were like mine. It has been very hurtful.
I'm sure someone with all girls gets those types of responses. It hurts...
12 Mar 2010 3:31 AM
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Those were my thoughts too. Seems socially acceptable to have multiple girls, but for some reason not boys. I was really coming to terms with my ultrasound stating boy until yesterday. It isn't my niece's fault and I'm happy for her. Just wish people would think before they speak or post. I'm beginning to feel when a comment begins with the word "wow" negativity may f...
11 Mar 2010 11:05 AM
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