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I, too, could've written this myself a few months ago. We only wanted 2 children, too, and I was SO sure this was my girl. I cried & cried for days after my u/s and was very depressed. Please do NOT feel like a bad person - you're not. We can't help the way we feel and nobody chooses to have GD. It doesn't mean we will love our children any less either. So try not to beat yourself up.
It's st...
19 May 2011 7:31 PM
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First of all, you are NOT a horrible person!!! GD does crazy things to you and your emotions, I know from experience. It's not like you choose to feel this way... Please don't beat yourself up about it.
I can totally relate to wanting to give your DH a specific gender. For me, I sooooo badly wanted to give my DH his "daddy's girl" that I know he so desperately wanted. It almost feels like my GD i...
16 May 2011 9:35 PM
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Thanks brighter… I don’t understand why she does what she does either. She’s really naïve. I haven’t actually talked to her about my GD (I’ve been really closed off from talking about it with my family because I’m afraid of judgment or pity), but I know she knows it’s there. The fact that I burst into tears crying in front of my whole family who was all there at my u/s gave everyone a clue. And ...
21 Apr 2011 8:18 AM
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Well first of all, a psychological disorder does not equal mental problems. My mom is a clinical psychologist so I’ve heard a LOT of psycho babble over the years lol… But honestly, it’s just a label. Depression is classified as a psychological disorder (think major depressive disorder, or such). And I’m sure that to label it as a disorder, it would need to be on the more extreme end - just like ...
21 Apr 2011 8:09 AM
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I feel your pain… I’m REALLY struggling with jealousy myself. Doesn’t it feel like the people that get their PP or their DG are the ones that always get what they want in life?? To me it does. And it makes it all the more frustrating. It’s just hard to understand why WE have to suffer… I suppose we’re suppose to get something out of this, or become stronger people because of it, I don’t know. I ...
21 Apr 2011 7:52 AM
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I'm having a really hard time understanding right now... I thought my GD was getting better. I've finally started to get excited about doing another boy nursery, ordered cute bedding, finally picked a name, etc. But my sister (who has a PP and allllllways gets what she wants) keeps sending me pictures and videos, always of her beautiful daughter. It's like every day now! Today it was a video of he...
21 Apr 2011 7:08 AM
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Kudos to you for seeing the positive! I've been having such a hard time with that, especially lately [:(]
Even though my dh has GD too & it has been sooooo hard to deal with my GD *and* his, it is kind of comforting at the same time. It's nice to know you're not alone and that you & your spouse are on the same page.
09 Apr 2011 10:36 PM
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You're definitely not the only one who feels that way...
I have had a very uneventful and "normal" pregnancy so far, and I feel that way... Can't imagine if I kept having m/c scares like that - it'd make it even harder. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all that. I really feel like GD has nothing to do with whether or not you appreciate having the children you have. It's about the specif...
09 Apr 2011 9:39 PM
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I feel ya... I keep thinking I'm "over it" but always end up back here again. I don't know if it'll ever completely go away (unless maybe I have my girl). And I totally get the moving on thing, too. GD is horrible in that sense - it keeps you always unfulfilled, always wanting to keep trying. It makes it feel impossible to move on because you're essentially "giving up" on your dream. We were hopin...
08 Apr 2011 12:20 AM
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The reason I want a girl is (like pp) I long for that mother/daughter bond. I'm really close to my mom, she's my best friend. I think part of it, also, is that growing up, my sister and I were very easy for my mom and my brothers gave her hell. There's lots of reasons, really...
You husband needs to step up! There is absolutely NO way I'd let my husband get away with that. I'm the type tha...
07 Apr 2011 6:32 AM
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So I should start off by saying I have THE most supportive, wonderful, understanding, & loving husband ever. I can go to him with anything, and he cares & tries his best to understand. When we heard "It's a boy!" at our u/s, he squeezed my hand tight and kept whispering how much loves me for the rest the u/s because he knew how devastated I was (even though I plastered on a fake smile). He...
21 Mar 2011 4:47 PM
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Oh I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I had a similar experience... In my family, we're very tight-knit and we always make it a big family thing to have 3D ultrasounds to find out the gender. So my huge entire family was there for the u/s (I was SURE this baby was my girl, so I didn't think it would be this devastating experience)... I tried to keep a forced smile during the u/s af...
14 Mar 2011 1:30 AM
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So sorry [:(] I know how you feel. My son is 4, so he puts dvd's in on his own, and a couple weeks after our gender u/s he put it in the dvd player & turned it on. Our tech told us almost right away, too, which of course ruined the rest of the u/s for me. I started bawling when my son put it in, and seeing how excited he was to watch it made me even more sad. I felt guilty. Later that night af...
09 Mar 2011 5:23 AM
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So sorry [:(] I know how you feel. My son is 4, so he puts dvd's in on his own, and a couple weeks after our gender u/s he put it in the dvd player & turned it on. Our tech told us almost right away, too, which of course ruined the rest of the u/s for me. I started bawling when my son put it in, and seeing how excited he was to watch it made me even more sad. I felt guilty. Later that night af...
09 Mar 2011 5:21 AM
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[quote user="AMiniMe"]
CAA0506-I hope you get your VBAC! best of luck to you!
[/quote]
Thank you!!! [:D]
03 Mar 2011 6:40 AM
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I'm hoping for my VBAC with this one, too. With my first, I had an unnecessary c-section - I had a bunch of interventions pushed on me that I didn't want, it was a snowball effect, and I ended up with a c-section because doc was impatient. I had horrible PPD and grieved a LOT for months after my c-section because I didn't have the birth experience that I wanted. My GD after I found out that #2 is ...
02 Mar 2011 6:00 AM
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[quote user="keepfaith"]
CAA050- thank you for sharing..That is EXACTLY how I feel! I want to just go out and start buying all boy stuff just to prove to everyone that I KNOW its a boy. I am sorry you are not getting your girl. I can't tell if I am doing a reverse psychology on myself or not. I really don't want a boy- but it's all I keep thinking. Happy to know you are closer with your br...
24 Feb 2011 7:40 PM
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I have always wondered the same thing! And that's part of the reason my GD has been so bad with this one - because this was supposed to be our last. My husband works full-time + overtime a lot, AND goes to school full-time just so I can be a stay-at-home mom. Money is definitely tight & he's in a field where there isn't always work. So our future is always uncertain. It's so hard. He has no pr...
24 Feb 2011 5:11 AM
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Congratulations!!!
But DANG, I should've handed over MY blue dust too... I wanna get rid of it!!! lol [HL]
24 Feb 2011 4:23 AM
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I lost all faith in "mother's intuition" with my current pregnancy... I was SURE this baby was a girl. I really tried to not let myself believe any certain way, either, so that I wouldn't be disappointed. But I couldn't help it, I felt like I just knew. I picked out all this girl stuff - bedding, decor, clothes, strollers... I knew that I *wanted* a girl, but I really was convinced that ...
24 Feb 2011 4:14 AM
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That was my thought exactly... I'm so sorry [:(] I know how you feel about the jealousy issue with your sister - I have the same proiblem. My sister had a girl first (while I had a boy) and now has her perfect PP. It's so hard to get such insensitive comments... Hang in there.
22 Feb 2011 6:40 AM
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[quote user="Zivic-bubac"]
Then I came to IG and I was in disbelief.....so many women are having GD with BOYS????????
[/quote]
LOL that's funny because I always thought the opposite!!! I thought families with all girls must have felt so lucky & blessed, and those with all boys just wanted to rip their hair out everyday, lol. It is all about perspective I suppose.
18 Feb 2011 6:45 AM
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I feel ya! My cousin who is the same age as me, has 1 son already like me, and is pregnant & due the same month as me, just found out she's having a GIRL...while I'm suffering with GD because I'm having another boy. It especially bothers me because this girl made my life hell growing up. Even though she's "family", she treated me like dirt, gossiped about me and smeared me to everyone beh...
18 Feb 2011 5:50 AM
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[quote user="Living & Loving"]
As crazy and rediculous as it sounds (and as much as I am sure you are tired of hearing it), God does have a plan and He does know what is best for you. I am not just speaking to you....I have to continually tell myself the same thing every day. It is so hard to understand or comprehend why God chose this for you, but He did. You will make it through and at the...
17 Feb 2011 1:00 AM
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Hey there, just wanted to say welcome :) There are definitely many here that understand! I am certainly one of them. I haven't even given birth to my second boy yet, but I'm having really bad GD. I'm sorry you got judged so badly at another forum - same thing happened to me! So many people just don't understand. And I agree with the PP - I don't think it's right for a husband to take away the woma...
17 Feb 2011 12:26 AM
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