My water broke at 5:30 am on May 13th. We waited around all day for labor to begin, but it didn't. We were admitted at 7pm and started with Cervidil. The next morning--no cervical changes. Still a one with a very soft but high cervix. So out came the pitocin and the games began. I attempted to labor without pain relief and made it through a very tough six hours getting from 1-5 cm just using a birthing ball to work through the contractions. There were some problems getting the epidural in. It seemed like he hit a nerve, so he moved up my spine. I had the pleasure of experience twice the needles, which unfortunately caused my poor husband to faint. I only felt pain relief on one side, so they tilted me to cause the medicine to flow onto the side still feeling pain. Immediately after getting the epidural I felt something change. I started feeling a lot of weird pressure. They checked me and I was at 5cm (first cervical exam of the day because of fears of infection due to my broken waters). Ten minutes later I said I felt the urge to push so I was checked and I was fully dilated. My midwife was delivering another baby, so we had to wait about 45 minutes. I didn't mind because this time the epidural really worked and I felt nothing. We were talking and laughing, so unlike the labor with my first. Then the midwife came in and I pushed for painless minutes until I was suddenly a mommy of TWO! The midwife placed the baby on my chest and covered her genital area with a blanket so we could find out together. Unfortunately, my husband was a little too excited and blocked my view--lol! I didn't mind, because he was SO happy and in tears. He moved his head and I saw that we had a baby.............
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GIRL!!!!!
--I know this is really easy to say now, but... As I was laboring, I realized that I was at a place where I knew I'd love my baby boy if this was to be one. There weren't any doubts at all, just peace. I was really sure the baby was a boy, so working through that at such a stressful, painful time really showed me my true heart. I'm so glad I waited to find out, because I feel like I've healed a little bit and like my heart has grown. I was ready to love my child no matter what, which made me feel a lot better about myself than I felt days before. It was very troubling to me to be pregnant and to have doubts like that. Even typing that, I do realize that I've gotten exactly what I wanted...but I KNOW it's true.
**I'm not comfortable sharing her name on here, since I sort of suspect someone is reading my posts on here that I know IRL because of comments that have been made by her. Sorry to sound paranoid, but it's a nosy relative and I don't want her bashing me to the family about things I've said on here. If she's reading this...please get a life!