Thought I was ok about having a second boy...but maybe not

I have a 2.5 yr old son who is the light of our world and am currently pregnant with our second child due in about 4 weeks time! My husband and I decided not to find out the baby's gender as we didn't feel strongly either way about whether we had a boy or a girl so thought we thought we would do the whole surprise thing.

As this pregnancy has progressed I have found myself wishing and hoping that we'll have a girl even though I have not admitted this to anyone. My husband hopes for a girl for the balance (he comes from an all boy family and I come from an all girl family), but my desire for a girl comes from a childhood dream. I have a feeling we will have another boy and I am pretty sure I saw something between baby's legs at our 19 week ultrasound and when I think "it is going to be a boy" I find myself feeling disappointed and sad and envious of friends who have one of each. I am now worried that when this baby is born and I am told "it's a boy!" will this disappointment rear it's ugly head just after the birth and interfer with bonding etc.

Has anyone else been through this and do you have any words of wisdom? This baby will be loved and wanted no matter what, but I can't help but feel such a strong desire for a girl. 

 hope you get your girl

I would suggest if you think finding out before birth is better then please go ahead and find out. I am very glad that I found out early. 4 months of dreaming about a girl was bad enough. After finding out the gender I obsessed, grieved, cried and then moved on. People say you cannot be disappointed about the gender when you actually see the baby. I dont know about that yet, I just know I am ready for my boy now.

Hope your baby is a GIRL 

I have not been through having a surprise baby, but I have been through the fear and disappointment of having a second son.  The great thing is that you already know you will love him/her.  And certainly, you will.  While I don't have any words of wisdom for you, I can tell you that I am so glad that my prayers weren't answered, and that I had a 2nd boy!  I couldn't imagine my life without Connor!  And seeing the love, adoration, and interaction between Caleb and Connor is the highlight of my every day.  My mom and I were actually talking about this last night.  I'm an only child, so she never experienced being able to raise siblings.  She's as amazed as I am that we can love two little boys so fiercely and that they love one another with that same intensity.  While I can't say whether or not you will feel disappointment if you hear "It's a boy!" at birth, I can tell that if it is you will fall in love all over again, and your boys will have one another for the rest of their lives.  And you will be so glad and so blessed you gave them the gift of brotherhood.

Good luck in the coming weeks!

Thank you for your replies and thank goodness for this site/forum! So glad to know that those struggling with GD are not alone.

Calebzmom, your words were very comforting and the more I picture my son with a little brother the more I think they will have an awesome relationship where they can play together etc (well I hope so anyway!).

I am now trying to focus on this (the sibling relationship) rather than the mother-daughter relationship which I may never have but that's not to say all mother-daughter relationships turn out the way you dream them to be! I think I will still have moments and pangs of disappointment but hopefully this will disappear the moment baby is born and I am now mentally preparing myself for a boy.

alleycat:

the more I picture my son with a little brother the more I think they will have an awesome relationship where they can play together etc (well I hope so anyway!).

Check out my blog (in my siggy) and my youtube videos - I think you should be able to find them under Caleb&Connor... there are some priceless brother moments!  I'm going to try to embed one of my faves - it's an oldie but a goodie!

That u tube vid has REALLY helped my GD.  What a lovely relationship they have :)