Do you think it is ok to pay your child for good grades?

I was at a parenting class tonight and the instructor brought up this story about kids in the intercity being paid for grades.

He said this wealthy business man is paying kids $125 for an A , $75 for a B, and $25 for a C.

He is doing this for all 20 schools plus an incentive if they graduate.

So do you guys think this is OK? If so what values does it instill ? If it is not OK what values does it instill?

My opinion was in agreement with the instructor but the majority was on the opposite side of the fence.

I was just curious as to what you all though.

Also how do you feel about yourselves paying your children for grades?

Wow, that's a lot of money! I don't think parents should pay for grades, but I'm less opposed to a wealthy business man doing it for inner city kids. After all, they are going to be paid for their performance by wealthy business men for the rest of their lives! It's sad to think that kids need that kind of motivation to do well in school, but maybe in some circumstances they do. But I don't like the idea of paying my own kids for grades. I think that gives me way too much power over their school performance and takes away the goal of learning for the sake of learning. I do pay for chores though (allowance only gets paid if they do their chores), and homework is one of R's chores. But I'm paying him to get the work done, not for the grade. Actually, there are no grades in his school (open school philosophy), so we won't have grades to deal with until high school, but we're still really proud of him when his teacher writes good things about him on his report card!

I dont' think there is anything wrong with it, I mean, it is just an incentive to learn! my dad use to pay us for our grades- $100 for an A, $75 for a B and $25 for a C, so pretty close to what that guy is paying.

We will definitely reward our kids goo dgrades with money, I am just not sure how much

I also received money for good grades and I don't see anything wrong with it either.  It gave me something to look forward to at the end of the quarter.  If I wanted to buy new clothes I was always reminded that my grades would come in and then I could get whatever I wanted.  

I guess this a good idea for inner city kids but would it just fuel the need to cheat to get good grades just so they could get the money?  I don't want to stereotype inner city kids but that is the first thing that came to my mind and that would most likely happen anywhere just not the inner city.

All in all I think it is a great idea.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with paying/rewarding your kids for good grades. I know if my parents had rewarded me I would have tried a hell of a lot harder!! Dh and I will pay our kids $1,000 if they graduate high school. I usually give ds#1 $20 dollars if he gets a good report card and he think that $20 is fantastic, lol. I have just change it to if he gets an A I will buy him any Wii game he wants.

I haven't given my boys money for their grades but me and DH reward them by letting them pick out a video game and letting them pick where to go out to dinner. Most of the time it is both of them, like this report card they just got last week for 6th and 8th grade. Oldest son did very well and got 6 A's, 1 B, youngest son got 4 A's, 3 B's and their conduct was good also so they each picked out an xbox 360 game and they wanted to go bowling and eat pizza. That cost us in total about $150, there's no way we could have afforded to pay them $100 for each A that would be have been 1,000 not counting the B's, so we just do what we can.

now last year my oldest had great grades, but he was suspended at the end of the year for stealing the little debbie snack cakes and sodas that the school put in the gym for a field day event and was selling them individually out of his desk to other students, needless to say even though he had a very nice Jr. high report card, he did not get any reward.

another thing to keep in mind is that different classes are easier than others, my youngest is in the GIFT program and the course work is really challanging, he had straight A's never a B in his life until he started the program, but the work is harder so I know he is still doing great just doing harder work, really his grades were always above his older brother so it was discouraging to him to see lower grades than his brother but he understands that we know he is doing wonderful and we would rather him challenge himself than take slack classes and get straight A's....my oldest decided to try for advanced algebra even though he could have taken regular algebra and regular english so I am mindful of how hard of a class they are in and judge each grade dependant on that.

okay i'm done rambling, I know alot of people are gonna think it's bad parenting to reward kids for grades but it works really well in our house.

As a teacher I have seen first hand that it doesn't work. I have seen parents try to bribe their kids with cars, toys and cash and in the end it rarely works. And if it does work it never lasts long. The desire to succeed needs to come from within. Students need to be self motivated and want to do well for themselves not for some extrinsic reward. When do you start rewarding? Grade One? By the time they reach High School the "rewards" would be too grand for the parents to handle. Where do you draw the line? What if you stop rewarding? Are they going to just let their grades slip again? That's crazy!

I don't agree that it's "crazy" what works in one house might not work in another. I'm sure my kids teachers appriciate that we take an active role in our kids grades and reward them for doing well in school, we have done this since 1st grade and now 8 years later it is still working even better than before because they really want to do well in school but they also want the reward.

I think kids should be rewarded for there efforts but I don't think money is a good idea. I know someone who does that and there kids are jerks about it. I think taking them somewhere they really like to go or some kind of family type encouragement would be better.

I don't think its a good idea personally, but then again I guess it depends on the kids... it might "work" for some, as in it gets them to try harder... but overall, I don't think it instills " the correct" ( as I see correct :-) values. My brother and I always tried hard to get A's in school, we never got a reward for grades, it was just expected of us to do well,... I think if my parents were bribing us with monetary rewards... it would almost have been like they expected less of us, and then my mind frame would have been " I have to get an A so that I can get my reward" as opposed to " I have to get an A for the sake of being a har worker and good student" if that makes sense.... I don't want my kids earning A's so that they can go get the latest video games, because if you give them that incentive... thats where their understanding of " why I need good grades" will stop. I don't want my kids thinking that you go through life receiving rewards for every achievement, life doesn't work like that, sometimes you need to work your butt off, and for what? to pay the bills, not a grand monetary reward for your hearts desires....

 Im doing it! My DD#1 gets 1$ for every A. (last year she got 50 cent for the B to ,but not anymore)

She is a straight A student ,but sometimes get B to. It started out just so she get better in school.( she did have some C and B and 1 time she got  1 D!!)

If I don't have the money right away she waits ,she never cry ,whine or angry about it.She even forget it sometimes.

Now my DD#2 is in kindergarten in the same school. They have no grade but good notes or bad. If she get 5 good notes (every day 1) she gets candy for it.Not money.

They don't fight about it or anything like that.

I think it works for us.

 I beleive that  the rewards should be based on the childs efforts, committment and continued improvement not on the final grade.

I have no problem with a reward system but think that children with less natural accademic abilities are disadvantaged if it was to based solely on grades.

My oldest son is a whiz, everything comes easily to him, without any effort he gets top marks on a consistent basis.  He doesn't put a great effort into his work yet he is constantly rewarded with high grades.    My second son is the opposite, he is conscientious, hardworking and enthusiastic with his school work, his grades do not reflect the level of effort he puts into his work.   Personally i think he would deserve the reward more than his big  brother.

At home we don't reward with money just lots of praise but i really try to emphasise that i am just as impressed with the effort as i am with the final grade. 

I just watched Oprah and she had on Suzy Orman. THey were talking about kids and money.

She said you should not reward your kids with money for anything! You should however pay then for work done.

So if they do the laundry pay them for every minute they worked. If they do a great job give them a raise. If they do a bad job reduce their pay.

She said the reward for grades should be a day out with mom and dad.

I thought it was a good idea in the class. We have a workbook that our son works out of . If he finishes one he gets a toy. It works great for us.

I brought this up in a class and one of the parents said "so do you reward them for every little thing?"

I said "No. Homework and chores(which is very seldom ) Is something that is expected as being part of the household. The workbook however are skills that are above and beyond his normal school work so I think it deserves a reward. "

Most parents believed that the desire to succeed should come from within. I agree but that isn't always possible with each child.

I also think it sets up a good work ethic . My son knows you just don't get things because you are cute. You have to work for things.

I do like the idea of a day out with mom and dad rather than money. I was thinking the legoland discovery center might be nice.

 Let's just hope he does well this year.  The mom of one of his friends asked if I got a call from the teacher . I guess her son and one other child did something bad. Thankfully my son wasn't that child.

Smommy:

As a teacher I have seen first hand that it doesn't work. I have seen parents try to bribe their kids with cars, toys and cash and in the end it rarely works. And if it does work it never lasts long. The desire to succeed needs to come from within. Students need to be self motivated and want to do well for themselves not for some extrinsic reward. When do you start rewarding? Grade One? By the time they reach High School the "rewards" would be too grand for the parents to handle. Where do you draw the line? What if you stop rewarding? Are they going to just let their grades slip again? That's crazy!

maybe it hasn't worked in the scenarios you have seen, but then again, you are a teacher at one school and there are thousands around the country- I know MANY kids it has worked for. In my highschool a TON of parents paid their kids for good grades and it worked. You may think it's crazy, but I don't and obviously a lot of other parents don't either. BTW, my parents didn't reward with money until highschool, before that they would just let us pick out somethign we had wanted for a long time and take us to lunch or dinner- it was something that I VERY much looked forward to and it made me feel good for my hard work.

AirForceWife&MommyX4:

I don't agree that it's "crazy" what works in one house might not work in another.

Sorry. When I said "crazy" I meant that it is crazy when the kids let their grades slip just because they are not getting rewarded anymore. I didn't mean that parents who reward their children for good marks are crazy. I wouldn't say that at all. In the end I am aware that parents do it because they want what is best for their kids.

I agree that it does work in some cases. But, I rather that my students be motivated because they are turned on to what we are studying. As a teacher it is cool to see when kids take an interest in what they are learing and experience success and then feed off that success. The kids that are in it for the money or rewards seem more interested in the final result instead of the process that it takes to get there. It is in the process that they learn and in the end it contributes to a heathly work ethic. That is just my opinion. Also I think of the times when the students have tried their best but didn't get the marks that they hoped for. On top of being disappointed they don't get recognition for their hard work and sometimes end up giving up. I've seen this all too often.

I think that rewards work best when they are for behavior and work habits. So if your child is trying really hard, that behavior should be rewarded.