So frustrated- re: sex during pregnancy

Grrr... (sorry if this is TMI) I am about 24 weeks, and within the past few weeks my belly has started getting in the way of "things."  DH gets really cranky if we don't have sex once a week, so that's what we try to do.  Last night I offered to try, mainly because I knew that today he would be working overtime and wanted to help insure that he would have an okay day.  I think it backfired.  We tried, and he wasn't able to get in a good position long enough to finish.  So we gave up (mainly because of a lack of options), and because it was getting late.

He just called me from work (like he always does), and apparently he's having a really crappy day because of this.  He basically told me that he's having a bad day because he's still so pent up & frustrated from last night.  I was like, "what the heck do you want me to do about this now??" As if I could fix this problem from home.  He still has about 8 more hours of work left.  He said that he can't talk about it with anyone from work, so he wanted to at least tell me how he feels.  So I could feel bad? 

I honestly don't care if we have sex the rest of the pregnancy, but he won't be bearable if we don't.  We just can't figure out how- and I don't remember how we dealt with this the last 2 pregnancies! (And I'll address this since someone might suggest it- the last time we were successful was with me on my hands & knees but last night even that was uncomfortable.) I don't know what to do!

I don't know... can you suggest he takes care of himself instead?? :)

Would he as PP said, go for a bit of DIY?!!

Or you could ask him for a massage, then return the favour - concentrating on one part in particular.  At least he would feel like he was having a bit of attention.

Men are such babies when they don't have their needs met!

 Maybe  u can give some books about pregnancy to  DH to read...

And ask him not to think about him self all the time ?

He is a little selfish I think... what about U and the big tammy and so on...?

Or he can just watch some movies...

Thanks.  I don't think he'd be interested in doing it alone.  I agree, it seems really selfish, but he says he can't help it.  I just don't get it.

Can you lie on your side and "spoon?" (rear entry) That's what we do.  I feel a little bad because that's pretty much all I feel like doing now, so it's getting boring.  But that's the way it goes.

It's like having another needy baby, having a husband.  And I swear, mine would still be in mood if he'd had his arm or leg severed earlier that morning/afternoon...

Can he not finish with you on top?  That's the only way any magic happens in this house right now too.  We start with him on top and then seal the deal with me on top.  Good luck figuring it out.  Another suggestion (if your bed is higher) is to lay at the edge of the bed on your back and have him standing.  Just some tricks we've used to keep things moving with a big belly.

Yeah, the only way it happens with my husband and I right now is if I am on top.  Anything else is way to uncomfortable.

I think he is being selfish. My DH understands that I am not in the mood for sex right now. We have not had sex in several months. He will take care of himself if he needs to (I even bought him a male toy and we use it together) . You could also do the oral thing :) My DH will take that any day. LOL.

I'm having the same problems.  My only suggestion is the one someone already suggested, with you standing and leaning over the bed with him standing behind you.  That or something with you laying on your side.  Or maybe try using pillows to prop, in either the you on hands and knees or you on the bottom (can't remember how proping helps this one but I think it does?).  Also maybe try looking pregnancy positions up online. 

I would try the spooning as well, that is all we do at this point and it is just for HIM! My DH is the same way, mopes and pouts if he is not taken care of........and here I am about to have a total of 4 in my house!

wow, your DH really needs to learn to self satisfy himself! for him to call you just to put that on you really sucks.

 It is hard towards the last few months having the man on top, other positions that were suggested might work better for ya :)

 I feel bad for my DH, last pregnancy I was the one wanting it all the time, with this one i'm never in the mood. My DH is so silly, if i'm not in the mood to get mine he would rather just take care of himself cause when we have sex he isn't satisfied until I am, he's so determined to please me, which can be so stressful if you know someone is waiting on you! LOL

I don't think telling your DH to satisfy himself is always the answer.  For one it may be against people's religious beliefs, like mine.  And even if it wasn't the DH or DW may not be comfortable with the idea of it.  Why is that everyone's first answer on here? 

mommyem:

I don't think telling your DH to satisfy himself is always the answer.  For one it may be against people's religious beliefs, like mine.  And even if it wasn't the DH or DW may not be comfortable with the idea of it.  Why is that everyone's first answer on here? 

As for why that's everyone's first answer I can't speak for everyone, just for myself. To me I don't believe a womans job is to please her husband sexually, if he couldn't "finish the job" with her and is that frustraited that he has to call her while he's at work to vent about it maybe he needs to go into a bathroom stall at work and take care of himself and quit whining.... just my opinion. I have a friend who also believes it's her "duty" as a wife to give into her husband anytime he is in the mood, personally I think my husband likes it better where he knows I don't do anything under the feeling of obligation but because i'm in the mood also since we view ourselves as equals not as a woman put on earth to serve her man.

there were plenty of different ideas brought up on how to help the situation besides him satisfying himself.

I totally understand what you're going through...luckily my hubby has been very patient and understanding b/c I'm the one getting frustrated with "preggo sex" . I've kinda given up on it until she's born. I've been satifying him other ways...lol and he doesn't seem to mind.  You just have to figure out what works at the time.....doggie style gets old after awhile...lol