Hi all, I have decided to delurk and introduce myself. As my big u/s is nearing, I am finding myself getting more and more excited but also more and more stressed about finally finding out baby's gender.

DH and I have 2 boys. Typical scenario, I badly long for a daughter and really hope this little one will make my dream come true. I am not holding my breath though... We didn't sway, and I have always been convinced I'd be the mother to all boys. So far so true.

Like all other moms of boys here, I love my two sons dearly and would never give either of them up for a little girl. But it would be nice if I was finally granted my wish this time.

I keep telling myself it will be okay if baby #3 (definitely our last) is another boy, but the truth is I am feeling positive now because the big u/s is still to come and I have all my chances. Once I am told it is a boy (if that is what happens), I know the reality will hit me and I will have to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a girl, and I know that road will be long.

I know, because I walked it once already. For a long time, I thought DS#2 would be our last baby. DH did not want to hear anything about a 3rd child, and although people kept telling me to give him time, the older our DS got, the more DH rejected the idea of another. So for over 2 years, I mourned the "loss" of a daughter I would never have, until DH changed his mind. Most of the time I was fine, but then it would hit me like a ton of bricks. To this day, it continues. I can't walk in a store to buy clothes for my sons without feeling angry that the boy aisle is so small. I can't hear about someone else having a litlte girl without feeling some jealousy, even more so if their little girl is giving them the chance of having one of each. I can't help but look at my family and wonder why I am the only one without a girl. And while all this has gotten better since my second son was born, I know those feelings will be back full force if I find out this 3rd baby is another boy.

Truth is, I really do not want to feel disappointed. I know it is frowned upon, and I definitely do not want my sons to ever think I didn't want them. I have tried to prepare myself, but I know the news will still be hard to digest. DH is worried about me too... He knows how badly I want a daughter, and he has admitted to really hoping for one as well. My idea was to not find out the gender until birth. I figured there was no way I could be disappointed with a delivery surprise. But DH talked me out of it, because he firmly believes that it is best to have some time to fully accept the news, and prepare for baby one way or another.

So we are finding out. Next Tuesday 08/26. And after almost 24 weeks, I am more than ready for baby to reveal itself! But again, a bit scared too about how I will react, and how my family will react. I know everyone will be supportive, but I also do not want to be seen as the one who could not make girls. As I said, I am the only one in my entire family to not have a girl. Everyone has at least one, if not more. A lot of my cousins have one of each. I feel I am missing out on something, KWIM? Some people say to embrace the difference, but this is one time in my life when I can't rationalize and just want to be like everyone else! What is funny is that in DH's family, it is the opposite. He comes from a family of all boys. So I do blend in. But in that case, I want a little girl to be the first one, you know? I want to give MIL a grand-daughter since she never had a daughter.

There are many other reasons why I want a daughter. I will not list them as I know that just about every woman longing for a daughter shares the same reasons. All I know is that while I love my boys, I have never felt like I have a special bond with them, and that is hard. I always hear people telling me that boys are closer to their moms, etc, but it's not the case in my house. My boys are both very independent and don't seem to need me much, not even for cuddles. I do feel lonely a lot of the time, being the only woman in the house. They are only 7 and 3, but there are already many times when I feel I can't relate. Cars, bikes, sports... as much as I try, I am not into those things.

Anyway, so many expectations, so many hopes. So little time before we find out. Please send all your pink vibes my way for next week's ultrasound. Actually, not just pink, but open vibes too. At my last u/s 2 weeks ago, baby kept its legs shut tight.  

I will make sure to update you. And thanks for the support. (((HUGS)))

Hi Emilie!

 We have a very similar situation.  I also have two boys and I've been hoping for a daughter since I got pregnant with baby # 1.  I am pregnant with baby # 3 and unlike you, I couldn't wait until my U/S at the Dr's office so I paid for a private U/S at thirteen weeks and the tech said it looked like another boy but couldn't get a clear picture of it.  It lasted about 15 minutes so I left completely unsatisfied and not really believing it just because of how fast it was and because I didn't have a clear picture of anything so I'm going for my anatomy ultrasound with my Doctor in two weeks so I will then know for sure.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed! 

Best of luck to you and I really hope you get the girl you have been wishing for!!!! And welcome to this forum, all the moms here are great and very supportive.  Reading all these posts are helping me have a happier and not so stressful pregnancy just knowing that there are a lot of women out there feeling the same as I am.

 Good luck on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!   

Welcome!  I couldn't written this exact same post a month ago.  I just had my u/s on July 23rd, where we found out that baby #3 is our first girl.  I too was scared to find out, because I didn't know how I would react.  It was hard when I found out that DS2 was a boy, because like you, I was sure he was our last.  Now that we're onto #3 (which has to be our last), I was scared at how much harder it would be to deal with.  So basically- yes, I completely know what you're going through; you're not alone.  Good luck with these last remaining days before the u/s- I know they're torture!

Emilie,

I could have written your post! Many other women could have written your post too! I know the next 7 days are going to drive you crazy but hang in there!

I don't really have any advice except to make a couple suggestions:  1) don't feel guilty about your feelings----I've learned it is ok how we feel, especially when our heart's desire is to have a daughter of our OWN! Is it too much to ask? I have struggled so much with this too. Everyone in my family and DH's family has had at least 1 girl so nobody really understands, nor do I expect them to. It would be nice if someone acknowledged this inner pain though! But they rarely do because they've never been in my boat!  It is PAINFUL to shop when all I want to do is buy a dress! or buy some PINK!  2) TELL YOUR HEART it is a boy. Keep saying over and over. Make your mind believe you. I know the hope for a girl pops up constantly but you have to shut it down. Then if it is a girl------SURPRISE! You can shift gears quickly! It will help protect your heart and emotions at U/S.  

I have 3 boys----they are all unique and special, but I tell ya my 3rd boy is something else! He is such a blessing that I never knew I needed! God knew we needed him! But that u/s was so painful. I hoped and expected a girl. I told myself nothing else but girl,  I think all those weeks of expectations plus the comments from others just built up so greatly that the news made me crash pretty hard.

I hear you say you are afraid to be disappointed. I understand. I think you are afraid at your reaction, as if you can't love your baby but you WILL!  I do feel lonely too in my house sometimes, but my DH is wonderful and supportive and when I really INTENTIONALLY love up my boys and show them my love in ways they receive it well, they love me back!

I never thought I'd go for #4 but here I am. This is the 1st month TTC a girl, but I am telling my heart to expect a boy. I'm trying to sway to odds for a girl but I know it is not a guarantee.  I never thought DH would agree to it but he's completely on board. It feels like a big step!  Maybe you guys will feel the same way in a couple of years. The desire for a DD just NEVER went away and I do want to be pg and have another baby regardless of gender. I'm going by that----there have been times when I KNEW i don't want to be pg so I just kept waiting.

I will be thinking of you Tuesday. Keep us posted. We are here for you!! HUGS--Kristen 

 Welcome, Emilie, hope you get the daughter you've been dreaming of!

Hey There!  I hear ya on everything.  And what you are worried about most happened to me last Thursday.  I really thought I had made my peace, however...

I saw the scrotum and said, "Is that what I think it is?"  Yep.  The room was pretty quiet the rest of the U/S and I had my fake smile plastered on.  Got out to the car with the U/S pictures that I really didn't even want, didn't talk much to my husband and spent the rest of the day weeping, feeling sorry for myself and not eating.  When I picked up my 5 year-old from K and told him "YAY, you're going to have another brother!!!" it was completely an act.  And he was a little bummed that it wasn't a sister, as he's been talking about how he wants a girl baby.

You know, if it is a boy, sure, it will be hard for you to digest.  But that's ok!  It's the loss of a dream.  Take some time to grieve.  I promise you that each day will get a little better.  Try hard not to think about how it would be "better" with a girl because you really don't know that it would...  My sister and SIL already have their hands full with their little girls (ages 3 and 4).  My mom and sister DID NOT have a great relationship either in those years when my sister was at home.  We always tend to think that the grass is always greener, when it may not be.

Anyway, I am praying that you get a pink bundle!!    Wishing I had some dust to send you, but it's all blue here in my house.  

Allison, I am sorry you had such a hard time after your ultrasound, but I can perfeclty understand. I hope it's getting easier to accept with each passing day. (((HUGS)))

My oldest also wants a baby sister. His best friend has one, so he told me one day that it wasn't fair and he hoped we'd get one this time. I know he will be fine with having a brother too, but since him and my youngest do not get along at all these days, I can imagine he will have his own moment of "Darn it!".

Emilie-It has gotten tons better.  The U/S day was a dark one.  And even the next day I kind of walked around in a fog.  But, it is what it is.  It is kind of nice knowing that I'm the "Queen Bee" around here.  And what an important job to raise wonderful men, ya know?  I hope they marry awesome women.   

And my son is totally fine now.  He's excited that he's the "oldest" of his 2 brothers.

Let us know how you make out!!

I know how you feel.  I remember that feeling before the u/s, how much I was hoping they would say it's a girl!  I almost cried right there when the tech announced another boy.  I couldn't talk I just layed there and tried soooo hard not to cry.  And then to tell everyone it's a boy, they were all dissapointed!!!  That got me the most, I felt like they wouldn't like my child.  I have to admit my sister didn't care for him till just a few months ago. and she told me this, not so much because he was a boy (so she says)  This time I'm even thinking of waiting for the u/s to tell anyone that we are even pregnant.  My mw waits till 18-20 wks for the u/s.  I just hope I'm not showing by then. 

sorry I went on rambling!!  I do know how you feel.  I feel your pain too ((((HUGS))))

I kwym! I have an u/s on 8/26 too (but I'll be 15 weeks) and I'm worried I'll see a wee-wee as well... <sigh> I actually don't mind the boy toys and stuff 'cause I've always been a tomboy and never cared a lot for "girl toys", but I still DESPERATELY want a dd!!!!!!!!

I hope you hear PINK on Tuesday! Crossing my fingers for ya!!!