You tell me! I'm going BONKERS here!!! My son has been consistently potty trained since he turned 3, with the occassional few accidents here and there. But for the most part he initiates going to the bathroom all by himself. I don't have to ask him if he has to go. He just goes when he has to so I thought we were in the clear. He's also been sleeping dry through the night in cotton underware since BEFORE I would have considered him "potty trained". He really has done a tremendous job, imho, what with having a new brother shortly before he turned 2. But the problem lies in this last week or so. He's been acting out like crazy, doing things he knows are wrong. He's never like that!! Call me crazy, but this kid rarely does stuff he knows he not supposed to. So you can imagine my shock this week to find him doing stuff like lying all the time, opening the front door and letting his brother out when I'm not looking, hitting brother, being purposefully mean to him, being destructive and all that fun stuff. Oh and he's become extremely clingy lately. Which I don't mind...it's just something I'm noticing. He's always asking if I'm going to stay with him when we go places, and becomes visibly upset if I mention a sitter. He acts like I've just been resurrected from the dead when I come home after being gone only an hour - which btw I'm not complaining...I love the attention =)  I just wonder if there's something going on I don't know about developmentally/psychologically. And I know a lot of this stuff is just natural growing up so I really haven't given much thought to the behavior. He's just had a lot of time-outs lately for his negative behavior which haven't seemed to be helping :( Anyways, along with this extremely different behavior, has come the potty accidents. All day, every day for the last week. When he has accidents I try not to make a big deal about it. I know potty training is a psychological milestone and kids reach it when they're good and ready, no matter the pushing or prodding. I just ask him if he had an accident and he'll say matter of factly that he did. Then he's instructed to take the soiled items off and put them in the dirty clothes basket in his room, and grab clean stuff-which he does excellently :) I do my best not to make him feel badly for the accident...after all he is still learning. But then last night while out at a church function, he peed through his stuff and since his shorts were baggier than his underware I didn't notice and I kept praising him for being so dry (he didn't say anything lol). Then when we get home I noticed big red welts on either side of his legs from where he'd been wet and had irritation there. He screamed several times during the night because he kept peeing his boxers through and it was burning. This just hasn't ever happened before. I'm starting to get really worried as to whether or not something is going on with him. He's starting pre-school at the end of Aug. and we've talked about that a bit to which he's become extremely aggitated asking me if I'm going to stay with him. So I've dropped the pre-school talks for now. Other than that I can't figure out what might be stressing my little guy out so much to act so differently. Family and home life has remained the same. Oh and I'm expecting our third child which he seems thrilled about. I framed an early u/s photo for his room and he talks about the baby and how he/she's growing and so I don't know if that is stressing him out and causing him to do this stuff for attention and/or revert back to doing baby things. Any suggestions, and/or advice?? I know this is hugely long and sadly scatterd, but I'm so at a loss as to how to handle this appropriately. I love this little guy more than anything and only want the best and easiest transition through what seems like a difficult time for him. Any thoughts? I'm a sahm so I'm with the boys 24/7 and have been doing extra things to boost his attention getting/special boy feelings since this has happened but that's all I know what to do!!

 Let him regress as much as he needs. Hopefully it won't last. Put him back in pull-ups or diapers if need be and follow his lead. When I was pg with ds3 my middle ds turned three and he was three yrs 4 months when ds3 was born. He seemed excited about the baby, but he was also more clingy and he definitely would not do potty training. I had to endure two in diapers for a couple of months, but I think middle son just wanted to feel like he was still my baby too. I think the age a child is when mom becomes pg is a huge factor. If the 1st time you became pg he was only almost two, he probably didn't fully grasp what is going on(or notice).  My ds2 finally decided he didn't like being like his "baby brother" in that way and I made sure to give him lots of big brother duties to help mommy with baby. Preschool may be a factor too, My son was hesitant the first few days, but I made sure to stay and "help out" at school sometimes to make him feel special. It sounds like your son is just worried that he won't be mommy's baby anymore since he will be going to school like the "big kids do". It does get better. I hope this helps some.

Thanks so much for your reply. What you are saying does seem to make a lot of sense and I guess letting him do his thing is pretty much the only option I have at this point :) It definitely helps to know that there are others out there who have gone through or are going through the same things. Like you said, hopefully this won't last long!!! And I did consider putting him back in pull-ups but that feels like 100 steps backwards!!!  Plus when I asked him if he wanted to wear diapers instead he said a big definite NO :) So perhaps we won't have to. Again, thanks for understanding!! And I see you have 3 boys!! I just might be there myself soon enough. Waiting on my 20 wk scan and praying for pink though I will be happy with another boy as well!

Not much to add except that my ds who is 4 now had a few episodes regressing with going potty. He would be accident-free for MONTHS, then out of the blue, he would go a few days with accidents. It never lasted long, though...Now, his latest thing is that he's wet himself a couple times when I put him in time outs! It's totally manipulative on his part. UGH! So, who knows all the dimensions related to potty training. I don't think it's a totally linear process for kids...

About the other behavior you're mentioning...I think that's normal, too. My son has had those episodes at times, too. It does break your heart to think your child is feeling insecure, though...Hope he's back to his "normal" self soon. 

Today was a positive day for the both of us so I'm a bit more encouraged. Thanks both of you for understanding! I read an article today about the sudden clinginess and fear of basically everything that he's developed that really encouraged me and helped me to understand. My goal is to just be his guide through this difficult transition he's obviously going through and to just make it as easy as possible for the BOTH of us . Oh and I'm learning that most of this stuff is bothering me because I have this pre-conceived idea of how my soon to be 4 yr old "should" or "should not " behave and kids can rarely be put in a box! So I'm just learning how to let him be himself without him feeling bad for doing just that. Anywho...that's all I've got :)

Hello QueensMommy,

I know all to well about regression. My oldest son was 100% potty trained when his baby brother arrived 5 days after he turned 3 yrs old. We had him in "big boy" underwear, a big boy bed the whole nine yards. But when my youngest son was born with many medical complications, my oldest realized for a moment he wasn't getting the attention that he needed and went back to going to the bathroom in his underwear ... not sleeping in his own bed, or even not sleeping through the night. If he found a "binky" he would take it and lay down with it.

My husband and I were at a loss until we realized what he is doing is normal regression for such a change in the family dynamic. My husband and I decided that we were going to let him do what it was he needed to do to cope. For young children any sort of drastic or dramatic change can send them back a bit, which is caused by fear of the unknown. We as adults know what it is like to have a fear of something we aren't sure of. Child birth being a great example. But because we are at a different age then our children are we cope with it better.

Give him time, he will be fine. You might have to go back to how you potty trained him before and just start him all over again. But when he realizes that being a big boy is better then using diapers or a pull up. He will go back to what it is he still knows, but choses to put in the back of his mind for right now.

God Bless & Good Luck =)