observation of boys and girls at school

Hello LillyVanilly,

I read your post and will comment later!  I've got a lot of running around to do today!  I hope all is well with you.

 Wow..I'm speechless and it's obvious that girls are favored more than the little boys. I just don't get why there is so much favoritism towards girls when we should be treating both genders equally. 

Oh yep...studies have shown that teachers DO treat boys and girls differently throughout school.  And yes, boys are treated "tougher" than girls are.  As an elementary teacher myself, I try really hard to treat all of my students the same, but sadly, I am in the minority.  I can say this from experience/observation of other teachers.  

Also?  I've noticed that teachers with boys tend to do better at treating them equally!  I have had MANY parents request me for their son's teacher, because they perceive me to be "better" with boys.  Maybe it's because I don't expect ANY of my students to "sit still and be quiet" 100% of the time!  What 7 year old can do that?  HECK; most adults can't do that!  LOL!

 If he likes the teachers, leave him there.  That's what's important, as long as there is no obvious abuse.  In the future, ask other parents as to which teachers "get" boys.  They'll be able to give you names!

oh, that makes me want to cry.

I haven't noticed it so much, but I will say my older ds's teacher first grade teacher had two boys and then a girl. The oldest boy was about my oldest's age and she seemed to totally get some of his issues because of her ds. She got how boys acted vs. girls, so overall I really liked her. He did have a preschool teacher, now that I think about it, had many boys and she seemed to really understand him too.

AprilMay:

Also?  I've noticed that teachers with boys tend to do better at treating them equally!  I have had MANY parents request me for their son's teacher, because they perceive me to be "better" with boys.  Maybe it's because I don't expect ANY of my students to "sit still and be quiet" 100% of the time!  What 7 year old can do that?  HECK; most adults can't do that!  LOL!

I have the reputation of "being good with boys" too. There are an unruly group of boys at my school that seem to really respond to me. The principal called me into her office to ask what my secret was. How was I getting through to these difficult kids? All I could think of is that I relate to them on a personal level. It is a teacher's responsibility to build relationships with ALL her students. Not just the girls. Not just the easy ones.

Your story makes me so sad because I see what you mean. I see it everyday at work. Girls are always asked to "special jobs". Girls are always the ones asked to do the speaking and readings at assemblies. Boys are yelled at and girls are asked politely. It isn't fair. The girls that I teach are not better behaved than the boys. They act out in a different way. The boys challenge you to your face which can sometimes make teachers uncomfotable and girls are more subversive, eye rolling, dirty looks, excuses... Of course these are generalizations, they are just observations. There seems to be a big push for all boy schools and all girl schools. Sometimes I think it is a good idea.

I do not feel this way just because I am a boy mom and I am more sensitive to them. These are things that i have been thinking about since University and doing my student teaching. There is a huge push to get more men teachers in the primary grades. I think this is a good idea.

Oh yes, I've noticed this as school, in our playgroup, at the grocery store- everywhere!  It is most worrisome at school b/c our kids spend so much time there throughout their lives.  I've often wished that there was an elementary school just for boys in my town- I would definitely be sending my three there. 

Unfortunately this doesn't stop at the preschool or elementary level.  I teach high school and the differences still persist.  I tend to be more understanding with my boy students especially b/c its almost impossible for them to sit still for 90 minutes without moving around or talking.  (I teach Biology so luckily we get up and do different activities and labs to break up note taking).  Studies continue to show that schools are not set up to help boys learn.  They are more girl oriented.  For example there is little moving around and physical activity in most classrooms.  Boys need to be more active.  My oldest starts kindergarten this fall and I am defintely praying for a teacher who is aware of the gender differences. 

Wow, this really concerns me. My son is about to start kindy full time soon. From what I have observed so far I am happy, the teachers seem lovely. They did say that they the structure of indoor and outdoor play is set up a certain way because of the boys and their activeness and concentration level. My son is a very active, excitable child, but he can concentrate just as well as the girls from what I can see. Listening and doing as he is told is a whole other thing though. But one of his teachers seemed to even favour him a little because he is very friendly and affectionate to her.

I am so shocked that the boys are being treated so differently at your son's school and by the sounds of it most schools. That must be very hard to watch. Maybe you could say something to them about what you have observed, as you have every right to. Geez, I am dreading sending my sons to school now. I will certainly be keeping an eye out for it now though.

I have not been able to read through all of these posts, but I am getting that most feel the boys are not treated as well as the girls.  Just to let you know my experience and this has not been the case for me.  I have a (soon to be) 4th grader and a (soon to be) 1st grader and a (soon to be) preschooler.  My sons preschool treachers always loved my boys and treated them very well (as well as the other boys in the school).  The boys always appeared to be somewhat more independent that the girls in preschool and I think the teachers enjoyed this.  Whereas many of the girls would complain (whine) to them about things that were easily remedied.  In elementary school the teachers did say that boys are generally less focused and ready to start then the girls but that everybody ends up just about were they should be by 2nd grade.  My two oldest boys were always the youngest in their classes because they have birthdays late in the year.  Both of them started kindergarten when they were 4 and about 1/3 of their classmates were between 12 and 18 months older then them (their parents deliberately held them back to try to give them an advantage).  My 4th grade son is the best math student in his class, and is in the top 20 percent in all other subject areas.  He is socially very well adjusted.  And his teachers have always adored him.  I know that since most preschool and elementary school teachers are women their can be a bias in favor of girls but I have not found that to be the case (There is one teacher at the elem that is known for likeing girls only and not treating boys well). 

I've got to go get some stuff done...but I'll read through all the posts later and add more to my post....

 That's sad to read as I am a teacher.  I have never noticed anything like that that I can remember at our school.  I do notice that my boy students tend to be more well behaved!!  I'd prefer a room of boy students to girls!....but not every year!

 Kasey
 

I'm sitting here racking my brain - thinking back to my classroom days... I notoriously used "pet names" for my kids.  BUT - it was for ALL of my kids!  All of my kids were Sweetie, Darlin', etc.  I remember getting just as frustrated with the "rambunctiousness" of boys as I did the "whininess" of girls.  *I'm not saying all boys/girls fit these stereotypes!  I'm just saying that I recall both actions being redirected in my classroom.

I hate to hear that.  I would almost want to point it out - very nicely, of course - because if they are as fabulous as you say they are, you KNOW they don't want to bestow any negativity on their boys in class.

I have actually noticed this too...very much over the last school year (pre-school). 

Yes, the teachers are wonderful BUT...it does seem obvious how some of them relate to the little girls vs. the little boys...there is definitely a difference!

I do think it's our society in general..not any mis-treatment by any means.  I've noticed it especially in the morning when I would walk my son in & sign him in..the teacher always reached out for a "good morning" hug & welcome to each kid but yeah, the tone & wording were much sweeter toward the girls...I wonder how I would relate if I had a daughter...if I would speak diferently or relate differently to opposite genders?? 

I have wondered..we have some neighbor girls & I don't know...maybe it's the GD...maybe it's been since the beginning of time??

I definitely am aware of it though in school..mine is starting kindergarten in the fall too...we'll see.  It actually just makes me want a girl to raise that much more!!

xoxo