Not sure if it would even be possible since DH wasn't producing sperm for a post-coital or a sample he gave a year or more back but...  I am 41 myself and I know my eggs have an expiration date,  and I have decided if it were possible, I would be willing to use a donor egg to get a DD.  She wouldn't get looks from me but as I think of it ... ds1 seems to get none of his looks from me, and ds2 seems to get most of his looks from my side of the family.  I am thinking thru how it play out with my feelings ... but then people raise children that are bio to their spouses and not them all the time in previous relationship type situations.  How would I feel that his dna mixed with some unknown egg?  I don't think I care anymore (I would have at one time.)  I really have no relatives to speak of on my side, still living that is, and dh does have some so his bio child would still be fully related to them and bio to my ds's.  If I were willing to adopt (which I am) this doesn't seem that much harder.  Only thing is, would I tell her, and if so when?  I wouldn't mind her knowing really but I don't want the rest of the world to necessarily know. If I could I can imagine it would be sort of "fun" to pick out a donor - hair & eye color, interests talents IQ etc.  Once again I am obsessing over how to get a dd when it really does seem impossible and this way I could experience it all from birth on up.... 

 I think you have a good point, many people raise and love stepchildren; I personally have a stepfather I adore.  But really, I think by the time you grow a baby in your womb and deliver that baby, you'll never think of that baby as anything other than 100% yours.

If it were me, at 41 I wouldn't write off my eggs without some testing.  You may find out you still have normal ovarian reserve.