Just thinking

Hi everyone.

It´s so strange reading your posts and it´s like: I agree, yes that´s how I feel...

I really felt so alone with my sadness of not having the daugther I had always wanted (and was confident I would have until my ds #2 was born). Not being able to go shopping with a friend because of all the pink and cute clothing she could buy. Everything in my house has to do with pirates, engines and dinosaures. It was me that only wanted 2 children (since my pregnancies were difficult) so when our younger ds was born -  my dh was just happy that I now had changed my mind. We tried the low tech, Shettles method, but I didn´t come pregnant. Then we went to the doctors and we found out that my dh is not as fertile as he was! What a shock, talk about my dream of a daughter fading away. I couldn´t even try - it was like it wasn´t my destiny.  I hated people´s remarks: When will you be trying for a daughter? Are you not going to have more children? I was like, don´t you think having 2 is enough and what is it to you! Of course people didn´t know how long we actually had been trying without success and the situation we were in - finding out about dh infertility.

Then I started to read about IVF and gender selection. When we started low tech my dh wasn´t so keen on high tech gender selection. But that changed when HE couldn´t give me a chance of having a child, either sex. I was so happy and we plan to do high tech next summer. But reading in this forum has shown me that nothing can be taken for granted, and it is in fact just a slim possibilty to get pregnant even with IVF. We can afford one attempt but I´m really scared of it failing. Especially because we also have a fertility issue. Has anyone with infertility tried gender selection with success? When reading here, I feel like everyone is so fertile and still I think the success rate is so low.

I hate it when people talk about designer babies and one shouldn´t try to play God or something. I was just talking to my father and telling him that we would need to do IVF to have a third child and he just said, why? God has already given you 2 adorable boys. - I didn´t even mention gender selection to him! What on earth would he have thought then?! I could feel that I wasn´t getting any support from him. But I am truly lucky that my dh is supportive. At least I want to give it our best shot. If it fails I will be considering adopting. I refuse to let go of my dream. I need to find peace and harmony in our life and I don´t think that will happen until we have balanced our family with at least one dd.

Vera.

 

Hi Vera!  Like you, I'm not goign to let my dream go.  If ivf fails for me, I'm going to adopt too.  I just have to have a little girl, one way or another.  Good luck to you!!!

wabg

I was just thinking, could you do a shared risk kind of thing.  I know when I was looking into infertility stuff for my sil, I came across "infertility solutions" and they have a 3 time try thing and the breakdown wasn't as bad as I though....like 16,000.  Doing MS along with it should be an extra 4 grand or so.  I would google and look into them.  Maybe you have, but you shouldn't have to deal with a one time try deal.  Just my thoughts and pink wishes for you....

It sounds like you have very realistic perspective which is very healthy to have in this process.   I started out somewhat over confident given the fact I got pregnant immediately with my two boys and just figured I would be a one hit wonder with my iui/ms especially after the Sperm Analysis reported everything was excellent.  So, after the BFN on my first iui/ms and then a BFN on my IVF/PGD/MS cycle that really gave me a huge reality check.   Now, as I head into my December Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) I finally have a more realistic outlook.  I am hopeful, but not over confident especially given the statistics.    Plus, it sounds like you have a PLAN B to head to adoption which is so admirable and wonderful!!!!!!  I am sending pink karma your way and I hope that you are a one hit wonder with your IVF cycle!!!  Good Luck and keep us posted.