hi there,
i have calmed down now..i guess i am exhausted..there is so muhc i feel i need to keep up to date in case i go into labour...like making sure that all my kids clothes are in their places so Dh has no troubl dressing them in case i am gone for more than a day, that the basics are in the fridge, that the house is tidy when i go so by the time i come back it doesn't reek of anything rotten or off....the floors are hovered and just the general upkeep is right in case i am not so lucky and end up staying longer than i expect.....
i have family and Dh to help out but my kids re going to be looked after by relatives duirng the day and then by DH during the eveings and night....
i hoover everyday and try and keep things like my childrens school essentials, uniform materials and books in order so life can go on as usual while i may be away......
i just am so ready i guess i am over prepared..the hope and indications i always had with this pregnancy is that i would go early in fact at times too early....so to come this far and think things would 'just' happen' and then they don't is frustrating..it is like your life can get on hold...there is nothing now that needs to be done....regarding the baby.....my physical condition also does not allow me to take the kids out and about like to the park..i can brisk walk but i canot chase my 1.5 year old down the bank as he runs to the local park's lake!!!!!or help my 4 year old climb donw the climbing frame...or chase all my kids through an indoor adventure ground.....
i also did all my grooming few weeks ago..as the last post suggested..i am fully waxed, pedicured and manicured and even dyed my hair...as i thought i would have had the baby by now....
so really...all is done....only the baby is left....
DH is desperate too as he runs his own business and has a lot of meetings and and busniess arrnagemnts to sort out but all is on hold as he cannot fix any dates de to my condition....he never wants to miss any of his kid's birthdays...so yes he is just as baffled as i am that we aren't holding our baby already....
i know fully well that the birth is around the corner and trust me i try for most fo the day NOT to think about it..but it is hard everytime i get pelvis pain, or seem to leak something or the other but no amnio, and feel like my insides are going to come out of my mouth...because the baby is truly big now......i can feel a foot just underneath my breast bone!!!!!
then there is 3 boys who demand lots of attention, and cleaning behind them is important otherwise things start to look and stink and rot if left behind....and that i cannot allow....call me obsessive but i dread to come home with a new baby and my house smells like a dumping truck has released itself here.....
anyway...i know i do wait and i try not to think about it...in fact i have decided to imagine that the baby will go overdue...this is the only way i can justify what is happening here...for now the excitemnt of the birth and even having a baby daughter is clouded by the sheer desperation and struggling condition that i am in.....but i know once something really does start i am only prayign that things will move smoothly and swiftly and i cna come home the very next day......
anyway, i went for another briskwalk with the kids and DH around the block of our street....i even mini raced with DS2 who isn't the fastest of runners...i felt alot of pressure while doing so but no contractions...yet....lets see..as oon as i go inot labour i let yuo all know..providing it starts at home....other than that i wish everyone one here more luck than i had.....so far...LOL
i am ok now will go to bed and just chillll...let the baby be stubbonr and come in 2 weeks..who cares.....GRRRRRRRRRRRR