So Nervous For 20 week Scan Next Wednesday, It's ALL I Can Think About

Uhhhh, well I have my 20 week scan in a week.  We have choose not to find out gender, BUT it's ALL I can think about and I'm may seceretly find out and not tell anybody.  My husband won't be going to the scan, i'm too nervious what my reaction will be if I hear "It's a boy".  I feel like I will be letting everybody down if we have another boy, my DH family has ALL boys and so does mine and everyone wants us to have a girl.  I want a little girl so bad I can't stand it but I wouldn't dare share that with ANYBODY but you guys, When ppl say 'Oh, I bet your hoping for a girl."  I say .."Nope, would actually like to have three boys."  I'm lying through my teeth, my heart achs for a darling daughter!!!

I know what your going through! We werent going to find out because my DH family and friends had all this pressure on about it being a boy.. and I just couldnt deal with all the comments if we were having another girl. BUT I convinced myself it was a girl and even to the point where my DH aunt said she thought I was having a boy i responded... "when I hear people tell me it's a boy it kinda hurts my feelings a bit because I have sisters and Id really love another little girl so DD could have a sister" when really I was trying soo hard to ignore the boy comment and over turn it so people KNEW it wasnt going to be a disappointment if we were having another girl... kinda reverse psychology on myself and them lol

We decided to find out. We did it in a special way though. We had the tech tape the u/s potty shot in an envelope to the appropriate box... one had a little brother onesie and one had a little sister onesie. Our DD opened the box after dinner that night and we filmed it.

We were prepared either way. Boy or girl and I had a whole speech and tons of come backs to anyone who had something to say about us having another DD.

Well we got our boy coming. I am also due in December. But i know exactly what you are going through.

And to be honest it doesnt get better when you find out the DG is coming.... people now make comments like "oh DH gets his boy! thank god what would he do with two girls?" and I just want to choke them lol.

Here's what you could do. do not find out during the scan. I did with my second son and I collapsed! I never want to do that ever again! not in the ultrasound room! the tech must have thought I was crazy! But if I were you I'd ask the tech to write down the gender on a card and put in in an envelope. then you can decide if and when you wanna find out! but then you can open it at home! Good luck hun!

I think you should let the tech write it down and put it in a sealed envelope. Keep it to yourself. Dont open it until you are prepared emotionally and mentally.

Also, if it is the gender you want how can you keep that excitement to yourself? how would you tell your DH that you did find out? Maybe you can say the tech accidentally told you? I think it would be so hard to keep it a secret.

And if it is the gender you dont want to hear... I think it would be hard to keep that a secret as well. I think you need some support. I have my sister she knew exactly how I felt and how I was brainwashing myself to want a second girl. And it was nice to rant and talk to her everyday and plus this website has been fantastic. BUT if you read it's a boy... prepare yourself. Make sure you are ready to open the envelope and realize you may one day have to tell your DH your found out. Whether it is blaming the tech OR telling him you found out.

I did contemplate finding out without my DH knowing even had my sister helping me figure out a way to find out without DH just incase it was another girl. BUT I realized this is just as much his baby as it is mine. He is just as much involved and wanted this baby just as much as I did and even though I am making and creating and carrying this baby... his heart is in it 110% and I couldnt do that to him. I wanted to find out in a special way together OR not at all and keep both of us in the dark.

Good luck! I hope you hear GIRL!

@ Tammie- I actually thought of doing that I'm just nervous I won't get the chance to ask her how sure she is and I may not beleive it when I open the box..LOL!!!

Thank you both for your replies..how come it's always the "IN-LAWS" that make us feel horrible about our lives, mine I SWEAR is the WORST..I guess It's my fault I even let them get to me..they are the most jealous ppl I've ever been around!

@ Hopefaith-THATS WHAT I HAVE YOU GUYS FOR!!!

We asked the tech when we were leaving how sure he was... we asked the same tech with our DD and he said 80% with her and she was def a girl and still is lol so we trusted him when he said "i am sure of what I wrote down" and our potty shot is very clear... I posted it today in the u/s prediction forum and it is def a boy.

I think you should ask the same... how sure and if there was a clear potty shot taken. No clues given just a "im sure" or "85% sure" and yes the potty shot was clear to me.

Great idea n THANK YOU!!!

God, when I think about it (which is like 22 hours of the day!) I get a lump in my throat n my stomach hurts!!  I do know tho no matter what, in the end when I hold that boy or girl it will be LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!!

 I am in the same boat and I am soooo sick of people saying "I bet your hoping for a girl" or even worse "I hope it's a girl."  Okay, I mean I hope too but I feel it's rude to say that.  I right now want to be surprised but dh wants to find out.  Good luck with whatever you decide.

I hear ya, I truly don't think ppl mean to come off as rude but I think we desire a gender SOOOO bad that we take it as a insult.  This whole pregnancy I have said that we are NOT finding out the gender but my DH really wants to know.  I'm afraid to be miserable for the next 20 weeks.  Like I said, even if it's a boy I will be excited just be sad that this is it for us and I will never get a chance to have my DD.

just wanted to say good luck - really hope you're baking your long awaited daughter xxx

Oh we are so totally on the same boat!! My scan is on the 15th of next month and i decided from the very start that it was better for me not to find out the sex, after 2 sons im desperate for a girl.. I can't find out the sex as my husband and family members have put so much pressure on me not to find out and he will be with me at the scan :( so now all i can do is wonder what's in there.. hope you hear pink x

I hope you hear girl as well.    When is your due date and did you do any swaying?

Know exactly how you feel, good luck in whatever you decide x

I'm due 30th December, i swayed 2 yrs ago using vinegar etc... that pregnancy ended in MC at 7 weeks so no didn't sway this time x