Friend had a baby boy and I am freaking out.

Ok first of all I just want to say I am so excited for my friend she was in the same situation as me had two girls and was lucky enough to get her little boy on her third and final try. So I am so happy for her. 

I am slightly jealous which I assume is normal, but the whole thing has brought up feelings of self worth and doubt. I cant seem to shake the thought  I am having my third girl and I thought I would be ok with that but everyone I know has now had a boy or is having a boy. I worry that I wont ever get one that maybe I dont deserve to have one. I try my hardest to be supportive and excited for all these lovely people because they are very blessed to have one of each but I just cant seem to think that I deserve what they have. I know the pictures of her little guy will follow and I have loads of personal feelings to get through so expect this rant of mine to expand a bit 

Help me get through this ladies.  I don't want to be disappointed about having another girl, my daughters are beautiful and I am so lucky to have them. I have to come to a reason why this means so much to me, why do I desperately want a boy.

 The last line you wrote was brilliant, "I have to come to a reason why this means so much to me, why do I desperately want a ___".

This question must be answered by every parent (mom and dad) who truly feels that having their DG is a must not a want. In real life, all the women I know that were freaking themsleves out over having a girl all had mother issues; either they had a broken relationship with their moms OR they had an unusually close relationship with their moms. The broken ones felt wounded and if they could only have their own daughter then it would fill their perceived hole in thier heart....boy, did that work out real great with one woman - her daughter is the complete opposite of her the moment she turned 13 she began pulling away, she's now 19 and is such a strong and confident young woman that she RESENTS how needy her mom was/is and doens't want to be close to her. How IRONIC...the girl was born to fill an emptiness but only led to more pain for the mom. This is because we, the grown- ups, are meant to shape, mold, and STRENGTHEN the child....not the other way around.

Maybe you think your husband feels the need for a boy and you're disappointing him? I think that tends to be the reason for many. Or maybe you're just like me and get filled with passion and excitement for all things new and having a gender you never had before is soooo NEW! I really really want a girl, this is my 4th and final...but if I "needed" a girl, I would do some serious introspection - maybe begin a journal and unload all my deepest most private feelings-  maybe speak with a professional who can dig deeper than one is willing to go on their own.

We need air, shelter, nutrition, and just as important we need a happy family and a peaceful home. This is what is owed to the children we all bring into the world.

No matter what happens, just imagine all your daughters giving you and your husband grandsons one day! Have you ever seen a more beautiful and tender relationship than a grandfather with his grandsons?? Especially if he had only daughters then it becomes out of control joy xoxoxox

 one more thing (already had 2 cups of coffee so i am pumped!!).....those moms that are super close to their moms "need" a girl maybe because they assume that relating to a boy would be way too foreign for them and they wouldn't be as close. total nonsense! i am very close with my mom and my boys worship me and i adore them.....maybe moms that are real close to their own dads want that adoration from another male to continue. it's all understandable, but its not all rational. even a mom who comes from a home surrounded by 10 sisters, no brothers and is "best friends" with their moms (which i personally never understood that - i am my children's universe but as i tell all of them dad and i are not your friends, we are your guides in this life) will have the ride of her life at the "boy theme park"! they will teach us what we don't know :)

 Hoping4hubby,  I truley Know how you feel I had a friend who I told her all the advise about getting a Ds from this website and sure enough she went on and had him it was a knife through my heart...not because of that, but her comment's to me after the fact that were just mean.."You know you'll just have another girl if you have another one" it kill's me  I really don't bother with her anymore... I feel I want a DS for me and my family and yes something diffrent.  However, I wouldn't have  it anyother way with my 's..They are my life.  So  what's wrong with wanting to experience a ds too?  I feel it will complete my family and Yes my DH certainly deserves a DS too, So I figure I have to at least give it a shot so I gave it my all ..Did IVf (failed) now my sway and in my heart I am content knowing  I did try my best so if it's another girl I'm content that what ever the reason she is meant to be rather than not try & say to myself 10 years down the road  "what if I did try & get a DS?" I have closure this way Knowing..I did try. I really hope & pray that we both have our little boy's in there ..I wish you all the best

Big hugs H4H- I understand your nervousness, just know that your sway was great and you did all you could. It's not about deserving something over another, and I dont know how religious you are but I believe we get what we need, even if we dont understand or t mkes us angry or sad etc... I was soo upset about dd2, but it turns out I NEEDED her. She changed so many of my perceptions about what girls can be and even now that dd1 is getting older, I understand I dont have to be my mom and I can be close with my daughters just because my mom and I aren't and never were. But those are my issues.

What I mean is... no matter what you are a fantastic mom and your kids will be so lucky they are yours. I truly hope your sweet boy is in there!!! All my love...

 hoping i am in the exact same boat cept boys wanting girl...........just found out few minutes ago a close friend who also had two boys and is preg with her last..got her girl she so desperatly wanted and on top of it everyone around me is having girls..but me.......and i am jsut so depressedd..so happy to be having a baby boy...but..i just feel so broken..something is wrong with me..why cant i have a girl too..why does everyone else get one....i tried hard to be happy and excited for her but...and thankfullly she understands...i couldnt...i tried but my heart is just so jealous and broken and i hate it but part of me was hopn shed hear boy too so i wouldnt feel so alone................and now i feel worse............i tried coming to a reason why i want a girl so bad....i dont know but i feel incomplete..always waneted a girl always....i wanted to buy little girl stuff....i wnted my own little girl...:(

babybleux32:

Big hugs H4H- I understand your nervousness, just know that your sway was great and you did all you could. It's not about deserving something over another, and I dont know how religious you are but I believe we get what we need, even if we dont understand or t mkes us angry or sad etc... I was soo upset about dd2, but it turns out I NEEDED her. She changed so many of my perceptions about what girls can be and even now that dd1 is getting older, I understand I dont have to be my mom and I can be close with my daughters just because my mom and I aren't and never were. But those are my issues.

What I mean is... no matter what you are a fantastic mom and your kids will be so lucky they are yours. I truly hope your sweet boy is in there!!! All my love...

 

I hope my post did't come off the wrong way...I do get pregnancy brain early..LOL What I meant is I wanted to give my Dh and I a chance at having a DS with swaying..and if we are blessed with another beautiful girl Than that is God's plan.  I believe things work out the way they do for a reason.  

 

Thanks Ladies for your comments I took a bit from them all and they helped me even in a small way. She put up a picture of her son and he is wonderful and looks gorgeous and for some reason I felt a bit more settled with my feelings. Haha Weird hey, I think like everyone here if I end up with all one gender than I will be upset about the fact that I wont get my DG but will love all my children. Hey might even consider adoption sure there are plenty of children out there that need homes. 

I honestly think part of the reason it means so much to us is other peoples' perception and comments.  Also, if you have two of the same gender it's natural to want the opposite and it's also natural to want something you don't have.  I'm so over people saying "I hope you have a girl" as if having a three of the same gender is the kiss of death or something.

As for your friend, it's also the initial shock of it.  I am in a similar situation.  Dh's cousin, who he is very close to, recently had a girl after two boys and I feel like it makes it worse if I have a third boy, like they got something I didn't.

Needalil prince- your post didt come off any way! I thought it was very sweet and encouraging!

Oh that's happened to me with both my last pregnancies, I've had boys my friends have had girls!! With the last baby she even took my girls name which id had for the last 3 babies.... Obviously they were all boys haha im prenant again the same as another friend (she's 4 weeks ahead!) an the thought of it happening again makes me feel ill.....im not sure how I'll cope, I'm so tired of painting on a happy face for other people :( I hope and pray we both get what we dream of!! X

 aww happy i know how hard that is....my dh ex took my baby girl name one she said she hated the one I been carrying around since my first son....she actually has taken two of them..one my dh would never let me use anyways but i still loved the name...and then the one we both loved....it still stings hearing her use it and talk about her name they picked and sayng o ya they love that name and picked it cuz was unique.....i just want to scream out at her and to all the ppl shes talkn to that shes a name thief and a bitch lol.....shes only doin it cuz shes jealous that dh will never go back to her and her kids love me to death and call me mommy...which she punishes them for.....errr...i just hate her....then my sister asked to use the new name we fell in love with and...well that got dh mad and saying we werent done after all lol just for a while lmao....but its hard sometimes....especially when everone else has a girl and you dont....im literally all alone lol no little boys for my little man to play with hes going to be surrounded by little spoiled princesses..lol

 meant butterfly not happy??????? i blame it on being tired lol............

 wildwooddays you are probably right, I do feel sorry for her too. She has had some horrible comments about 'now she has had a boy', Pretty sure we all know how it goes. One person she knows even said that she should pop the bubbles because now she can stop  Which I find a horrendous thing to say to someone even if they finally got a DG baby. I know she isnt planning on having anymore at the moment but things change so still horrible. 

 Sending u my blue baby boy dust........please take it ALL and send me loads of pink in return  Big Hugs. I wish ur dream comes true.