So sorry that you are feeling this way. It sucks!! My SIL and I are both pregnant, due a week apart. And, although I am thrilled for them (and us) to grow our family....after the initial excitement wore off I started obsessing. I worked at talking myself down a lot. Afterall, what's done was done...the genders were already determined. In our family..."We don't make girls." I have 2 sons. SIL has 1 son. To make matters worse, I wasn't even sure what gender I preferred!! I just didn't want anybody else getting what they wanted either. Residual GD is a beast. I now prefer boys...but, don't want others having girls?!? Eeek! Anyway, turns out my SIL is having a boy. Then I felt bad, I can't win. I know the whole family can't wait to meet him. And, she makes beautiful boys (like myself
). So, no reason to feel too badly...just wish I wasn't such a mental case. Onto my baby...it's a secret. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to obsess. I KNEW I would either way...it's just how my GD is. So, unfortunately I know the gender (DH wanted to know), and still can't "let it go". This is my last baby either way. I hope with time, I can just be happy for others. This selfish feeling stinks...big time! Good luck to you!! I hope things work out the way that is best for your GD.