why is this?

For me, having brothers is more important than having sisters. It's a personal thing. I want a girl because I have two boys and want to experience both genders. I wanted a girl in my second pregnancy so I could be done worrying about if I was going to get one of each. But truth be told, i love the brother bond. I actually wanted my son to have a brother from the moment I knew he was a boy. I think it is why my "GD" with my second pregnancy lasted all of one day. And its possibly why I am not even sure I will have GD this time around. Yes, I would love, love, love to experience a girl. But I genuinely don't think I will care if she has a sister. I didn't have a sister, both of my parents did. But I loved my childhood. I have two brothers who are amazing together. They are 21 and 25. They work together, share hobbies, double date, and really love being around one another. I think it is a much rarer relationship between brothers than between sisters. But again, you could accuse me of being biased to the brother relationship. I don't think you will be back "to give her a sister" unless it is something you feel strongly about now. Me, I adore watching my boys together and can only hope they develop a strong brother relationship like my brothers. But I know it's really their personalities that will dictate that, not their gender. But I do hope they find a confidante in each other.

not all dd's need a sister. i hated mine until she was 18 years old. all we did was fight. i had much more in common with my brother. sure now i like her but when we were younger you couldn't pay me enough to play with her and we were only 3 years apart. i get why some ladies want daughters, to experience the joys of both. and i pray all of you get to experience raising a daughter because i love each one of mine more then words can say.  its just these ladies who only have girls who want more and more girls. why? these silly ladies who freak out because "omg my life is over! its a boy!" get over it!

    you can't make a mini-me, and you can't make a best friend. you can't stick her in a pink tutu and parade her around town because you know what? we don't care. i can do that too. heck i can do that to a dog and get way more attention. frankly i think little men in nice clothes who open doors for their mothers are way more precious that a girl in a pink tutu having a fit for more ice cream.

^Any child, boy or girl who is polite and has manners, and preferably with SANE parents are very precious overall. Yea I would much prefer to see a boy or girl in normal clothes and act like a regular kid rather than a boy or girl who is overly dressed up like some barbie doll just for show, which is utterly pathetic. And you're right, who the hell cares how your kids are dressed (obviously they need to be dressed decently lol).

And no I never had a sister and never care for one. My brother is all I need. I don't need a sister to do "girl stuff" with. I have female cousins and friends to do that stuff with..why would I need a sister for that? I don't care if my future son or daughter has a brother or sister anymore..genderwise of siblings is not important. If they do have a brother/sister..that's fantastic, if not, that's also not a issue. I'll be greatful that they at least have siblings!

 For me, it is because where I am from--boys are  favored more than girls. I feel that I can raise another girl to be everything she wants in life--I'm proud to be a woman and proud of my DD. I am also EQUALLY proud of my DS. I wanted a girl and boy SOOO badly. But I know in my heart that most people around me prefer boys, so for me, it's instinct to WANT another girl. I don't want a girl to dress in foo-foo, I want a girl to show the world that women are the most amazing things in the world--and that she can do anything in this life. Honestly, now that I have both, it is not even an issue. the only thing I like about having another girl is the name. The more I realize about life, the more I realize that a child is more than a gender--I look at both of my kids and wonder how in the hell I got so lucky to have them--and it's definitely not about gender. I always say I want another girl, but my DS blew me out of the water on my thoughts of having a boy or girl.

I had two brothers and would have liked a sister but didn't feel I missed out. My aunt was 3 years older than me and we were closer than most sisters I know, I have 7 friends from childhood. I used to wear one of my best friends baby clothes, she was 8 months older than me. My other friend and i started school together, got married around the same time, have two babies the same age and still talk every day. I love the girls! My brothers aren't that close to their friends, they have really good friends but they don't confide in each other the way I do with mine. But they do with each other, they both run my dads business and are very close. My sister in law doesn't get on with her sister (understatement) and has a volatile relationship with her mother. She wants her daughter to be the only girl. My BIL, DH's brother, is married into a very well off family, who were really close, now two of the brothers HATE each other, over money and its spilt all the siblings in two, the sides are not defined by gender but personalities. My best friend has two sisters and the three of them are so close. Her two younger sisters hangout together and are best friends, it's really lovely, so I think it depends on the family. My DH has three brothers and one sister, his sister is 10 years older than him and lives in the US. They Skype every day, he doesn't see his brothers that live here that much! I am really really close to my brothers, I love them to bits! We never argue, and our kids are the same age so we do a lot together. My sister in law (my other one) has been with my brother since they were 15 and she's one of my best mates too! For that reason I dont think it matters what gender your siblings are, as long as you're brought up in a happy home and get on, they'll always be there for one another. I do remember being disappointed at age 7 when my brother was a boy:) maybe that's the beginning of my GD!!

If this board does tend to favor girls, I think its only because this board is made up mainly of women. Women (not always but often) want girls because they are girls and girls are what is familiar to them. If you had a board made up of men, I would bet anything that the preference would be boys. Overall though, I don't think our society favors girls over boys, I think its a pretty even split. If anything, many other cultures favor boys. (Think China, India.) And while women dreaming of dressing their daughters up in tutus and getting manicures with them may be superficial, I don't think its much different than men dreaming of dressing their sons up in their favorite sports team's jersey and taking them to baseball games.

sbd78:

If anything, many other cultures favor boys. (Think China, India.) And while women dreaming of dressing their daughters up in tutus and getting manicures with them may be superficial, I don't think its much different than men dreaming of dressing their sons up in their favorite sports team's jersey and taking them to baseball games.

 

China and India favor boys for economic reasons, not superficial things. Plus in India the boy favortism is dying down now tremendously, especially in the metro cities as female rights are being established and there are new laws dealing with the abortion of baby girls. China is slowly making progress too, however with the one child policy, there the boy preference is still strong only to contain the lineage (which I disagree with as girls can carry on the lineage as well)..

It's ok to have a preference, but a lot of women are favoring girls because of stupid reasons like having a girl is "better as you can dress them as a mini-me, and gorge yourself in all the pink" and boys are "no fun" and pity mothers who have a son..hurting their feelings. And these SMOG moms want more girls for that even if they already have a bunch of girls. Probably the same with men too with boys. What's the harm in having a few of the opposite gender? You freely got the opportunity to experience a new world. It should be a thrilling thing, not something to pout about.

 I think you always want to give your child a same sex sibling.  If I was younger and dh too - we probably would TTC # 5 for another DD.  But I am going to have our 4th and this is it- boy girl or whatever, I am DONE!  

 Here are things I understand about this topic:

Having a boy or multiple boys, and wanting a girl next to experience raising a daughter

Having multiple boys and 1 girl and wanting another girl so dd won't be the only girl

Having an older ds and a younger dd and wanting a dd (or reversed, older dd, younger ds, wanting another ds) because of the closeness in age, I do understand how people might think that this would  help their child be closer to his/her sibling if the sibling was the same gender (Although, I don't really agree with this at all because of the multiple families I know that disprove the theory and just the general knowledge that there are no guarantees that your children will be like minded or close just because they are close in age and the same gender, but I do understand the thinking behind it and don't think these people are boy bashing or prefering girls for superficial reasons)

 

Here is what I don't understand:

Wanting a girl to give dd a sister and caring nothing about or totally overlooking the idea of giving ds a brother, as if it would be a tragedy if dd didn't have a sister, but ds could certainly and easily deal with not having a brother.  

 

However, just because I don't understand something or agree with it, I can at least empathize with those who clearly desperately want something they are not going to get.   We've all been there over one thing or another...

 

Does it make me sad that women seem to prefer girls over boys?  Yes, it really does because I  know the joy my boys bring to me, I know that regardless of gender, each child is a blessing and will have a personality all his or her own.  I wish children of all genders and abilities could be celebrated for the positive rather than criticized for the negative.  It makes me sad that children are forced into being someone or something they're not because their parents can't just accept them the way they are.

 

It all comes down to this in my opinion:  You have to raise the child you are given, NOT the child you wanted.  We are not managing an inconvenience, we are raising human beings!  

islandmeadow:

 Here are things I understand about this topic:

Having a boy or multiple boys, and wanting a girl next to experience raising a daughter

Having multiple boys and 1 girl and wanting another girl so dd won't be the only girl

Having an older ds and a younger dd and wanting a dd (or reversed, older dd, younger ds, wanting another ds) because of the closeness in age, I do understand how people might think that this would  help their child be closer to his/her sibling if the sibling was the same gender (Although, I don't really agree with this at all because of the multiple families I know that disprove the theory and just the general knowledge that there are no guarantees that your children will be like minded or close just because they are close in age and the same gender, but I do understand the thinking behind it and don't think these people are boy bashing or prefering girls for superficial reasons)

 

Here is what I don't understand:

Wanting a girl to give dd a sister and caring nothing about or totally overlooking the idea of giving ds a brother, as if it would be a tragedy if dd didn't have a sister, but ds could certainly and easily deal with not having a brother.  

 

However, just because I don't understand something or agree with it, I can at least empathize with those who clearly desperately want something they are not going to get.   We've all been there over one thing or another...

 

Does it make me sad that women seem to prefer girls over boys?  Yes, it really does because I  know the joy my boys bring to me, I know that regardless of gender, each child is a blessing and will have a personality all his or her own.  I wish children of all genders and abilities could be celebrated for the positive rather than criticized for the negative.  It makes me sad that children are forced into being someone or something they're not because their parents can't just accept them the way they are.

 

It all comes down to this in my opinion:  You have to raise the child you are given, NOT the child you wanted.  We are not managing an inconvenience, we are raising human beings!  

I have no idea how to get that little thumbs up sign....but this gets a huge thumbs up in my world. You are great with words and expressing a thought that was in my head but couldn't get out! Well written!

that just about sums it all up island! and i want you to know, i've got my fingers crossed for you to get a girl. there are alot of ladies who i pray get a daughter. i was really hoping dreaming would get a girl this time and i had everything crossed for canadian too. but i think its more because you girls didn't care, you know a baby is blessing no matter what. something i didn't figure out until it was too late. it just drives me bonkers when certain ladies are having their first child and go nuts because its a boy. or they go crazy because their 2nd child is a boy and they already have a dd. my son and daughter are 12 months apart and she already loves her baby brother so much. i just know they will be the best of friends.

islandmeadow:

 Here are things I understand about this topic:

Having a boy or multiple boys, and wanting a girl next to experience raising a daughter

Having multiple boys and 1 girl and wanting another girl so dd won't be the only girl

Having an older ds and a younger dd and wanting a dd (or reversed, older dd, younger ds, wanting another ds) because of the closeness in age, I do understand how people might think that this would  help their child be closer to his/her sibling if the sibling was the same gender (Although, I don't really agree with this at all because of the multiple families I know that disprove the theory and just the general knowledge that there are no guarantees that your children will be like minded or close just because they are close in age and the same gender, but I do understand the thinking behind it and don't think these people are boy bashing or prefering girls for superficial reasons)

 

Here is what I don't understand:

Wanting a girl to give dd a sister and caring nothing about or totally overlooking the idea of giving ds a brother, as if it would be a tragedy if dd didn't have a sister, but ds could certainly and easily deal with not having a brother.  

 

However, just because I don't understand something or agree with it, I can at least empathize with those who clearly desperately want something they are not going to get.   We've all been there over one thing or another...

 

Does it make me sad that women seem to prefer girls over boys?  Yes, it really does because I  know the joy my boys bring to me, I know that regardless of gender, each child is a blessing and will have a personality all his or her own.  I wish children of all genders and abilities could be celebrated for the positive rather than criticized for the negative.  It makes me sad that children are forced into being someone or something they're not because their parents can't just accept them the way they are.

 

It all comes down to this in my opinion:  You have to raise the child you are given, NOT the child you wanted.  We are not managing an inconvenience, we are raising human beings!  

 

You are smart, in fact too smart , I agree 200% with what you just said all the way, and it is true I understand all the situations you explained just the same. 10/10 from my point of view 

 

 

Also just to add, there is only ONE reason I can easily understand why a woman would not want a boy ever, and that reason is because they had been surrounded by negative men, probably severely harassed, beaten, sexually abused, and really did not have even one positive male influence in her life and where she was emotionally scarred and therefore given the perception of how men are..and when she is going to raise a son, she is easily seduced to thinking that her son(s) will be the same as she witnessed in the past. In that case, she's not at any fault and really deserves to get help to help her overcome her feelings. This is the only reason that I understand and give empathy, the rest...it just boggles me. 

 

 Thanks for the compliments, girls.  I am so glad to be at a place where I feel like gender doesn't even matter and I realize that it is a blessing to feel that way and not everyone is so lucky and I do sympathize with those people.

 

newbaby thank you for your girl wishes! I could definitely use them :)  

I am a very destiny minded person, so I truly believe I will get whatever is best for my family, even if that is no baby at all :(   It is very freeing to know that I will be happy one way or the other.  I wish every single person here could feel that way.  

My ds and I were at the park the other day and he said "look at that cute little baby, mommy"  as he pointed to a little baby boy.  He said, "We need one of those at our house.."  I replied with, "do you think we need a boy or a girl?"  He said, "hmmm, maybe a boy AND a girl"   LOL!  

 

JJ, such a good point about having bad experiences with men!   How are women supposed to know that little boys can be a joy and grow into fabulous young men, become wonderful husbands and fathers if they've never had an example?  

and JJ, totally OT, but you mentioned in another post  you have one brother... tell me, are all your nieces and nephews from one sibling?  If so, go him! 

You clearly DID NOT read my post or you have a hard time understanding.  Don't know which one but anyway....  WHAT i said was I understand wanting a certian gender becuase you don't have one.  But what I DON"T agree with is wanting a specific gender for superficials reasons  ie: it is so cute to dres up girls in pink tutus etc.  I think that is a BAD reason to want a certain gender, you should not be having chidren just so you can "dress them up or put them in dance classes, becuase that is what YOU want them to do".  Not the right reasons to want a certain gender,  but again that is just my opinion. 

sbd78:

Tiffany - No offense, but it seems a little hypocritical to come on here with a mixed gender family hoping for a certain gender, and then berate others for doing the same thing? Everyone has their own personal life experiences that shapes what they hope for in their own family. You could tell anyone on this board (including yourself) to just be happy with what they are given. And for the most part, most people are. But that doesn't change the fact that people dream of their family makeup being a certain way, and they might sometimes feel a little disappointment when the reality is not the same as the dream. I'm sure the GD people with mixed gender families feel is much less severe than that of those just hoping for the experience of raising a DD or DS. There are probably people on here who have no DS or DD at all and are just hoping for that experience that find YOU to be selfish since you already have both genders. Its all in the eye of the beholder.

 My ideal was actually BBG. I never wanted more than 1 girl. I think it has to do with my own family make-up being BBBG and always being glad I never had a sister.