Last night I got an email from a family member saying DH cousin is in fact having a boy! NOT his third girl. They had a 20 week scan and it confirmed it regardless of what the first scans all said.
I cried. I didn't sleep well at all. Tossed & turned and thought about what Id post on here for advice.
My DH bless his heart... he was all "good for them!" and "I bet she is happy!" and followed it with "Don't you dare be upset we have a beautiful daughter & a beautiful life and a beautiful new baby coming and we dont know the sex because the sex DOES NOT matter! We planned this baby to add to our family not for a boy... we are adding not something to grieve about"
I then caved I was out of my mind shaking and totally like "she's going to have a shower that I wont be invited to but all your family will be a buzz about her BOY! and im having another girl I just know it I know it our nub shots are exactly the same as our DD"
he then said "if you were invited would you go?" i said "NO!" and he said "exactly who cares??"
I dont get along with his cousins wife. LONG story she is drama and likes to come inbetween happy couples. Stir the pot and watch what she's created type of woman. She obviously is very bored and miserible thats what we all think it is. ALL meaning all of his family thinks that. So no I will not be invited to her all blue all boy baby shower extravaganza. But that I dont care about. It's the comments that are going to be coming my way now. It's the "oh they got their boy maybe this will be your turn too!" type of stuff.
My DH wants me to just to say "we are adding a baby to our family... we dont care boy or girl so it would be appreciated you didnt compare our family dynamic to someone elses."
He then reminded me of all the things I have going for me in my life that this woman blessed with a boy does not.
That list kinda made me feel better.
So this morning when my DH saw I was not sleeping at 6am. He said I let things bother me and I shouldnt do that. That if I need the next 4 months to get over my GD we go to our 3D scan have them put it in an envelope & then go to a nice restaurant with our DD and open it together as a family and boy or girl who cares.... we'll know what to throw me... he said he wants to give me "sprinkle" if its another girl since i was on bed rest and missed my shower with DD. That made me feel so much better. My sister would be so happy to organize it. She has already stressed how upset she is that she never got to pamper me at my shower the way I pampered her. She said I made her shower fantastic and she wants to do the same for me. Very sweet.
My DH also said this isnt our last if it's a girl. He is totally ok with going for a third and maybe IVF considering I have a condition that makes my pregnancies difficult with breach babes and csections and going for a 4th for a boy would not be an option. So I know one day I will get a boy.... maybe now. maybe in a few years. But there will be the pitter patter of boy feet sometime in our future. That makes me feel somewhat better. but doesnt make it go away.
I sat down and thought when is the next time I may see this woman I now envy... and the answer is never if I choose. We dont do holidays with them.... and we dont invite eachother to our kids functions and parties. So why am I still so upset and angry and hurt????? She is nobody to my small family. Ughh I am so sick to my stomach I havent even eaten. It's THAT bad. HELP